Tuesday, 29 September 2009

when the blogger had 8 hours of classes.

10 - 11 AM, DK2, CRIMINAL LAW, DR JAL

Dr Jal
Yo, how's progress for your assignment? Ada tak buka beg kedua?

All
?? Beg kedua ??

Dr Jal
Selalunya balik cuti kan ada dua beg? Satu beg baju, satu beg buku. Ada tak buka beg kedua?


11 AM - 12 PM, DK2, CONFLICT OF LAW, DR AZMI

someone: "doctor, you said you'd give us our assignment question today."
"... oops. forgot. k, let's do it now. what question do you want ar?"
all: ^_^"
*click to see what he typed*


Topic: What happens if a tort @ civil wrong occurs in Country A, but you sue in Country B?

Dr Azmi
So this is the scenario: We went on a class trip to... to... Angkor Wat. And during the trip, some of you annoy me. "You're so annoying!" I say. So I trick you and lock up in one of the temples in Angkor Wat. So you're very upset, you're crying, hungry, thirsty... Then I let you out. When we get back to Malaysia, you sue me. You know, for pain and suffering, "there were cockroaches..." etc etc.


Topic: Why judges sometimes make lousy decisions in conflict of law cases.

Dr Azmi
This is probably the largest Conflict of Law class in. The. WORLD! I know you're here because you think you can pass. I know k. I KNOW. Usually in the UK, it's only about five people, and they're seriously all NERDY. No life. Like me. *sighs morosely*


Dr Azmi
Please read the Reciprocal Enforcement Judgment Act, and there's this very good article explaining enforcement -i think he wrote wan lol-, which I will photostat and I will GIVE to you. Yes! Yes! I will! You spoilt brats.


12 - 2 PM, DK1, FAMILY LAW, DATIN

Datin
Ada orang kahwin untuk cinta. Ada orang, kahwin untuk dapatkan zuriat, untuk tunjukkan, "Yes! I am complete!"

Datin
Yang sakit tu isteri. Yang nak mati pun isteri. Bila anak dilahirkan, dan isteri tak mati, yang dapat ribuan ucapan tahniah tu ialah... suami. Pikir-pikirkanlah.

Datin
You know the saying, "bagai pinang dibelah dua?" You know why people always say couples look alike? You will choose your candidates (partners) according to features that you like about yourself. I don't know what you guys think, but I think I have nice teeth. Jadi kalau aku nak kahwin, aku akan pastikan teman aku tu giginya tak bersilang-silang.


and then john said something which i felt was funny but which i think is a bit inappropriate to put up here. ahaha.


*pardon me, law joke incoming*

Datin
Kini, isteri bukan lagi chattel. Isteri ialah... ialah...

Jack
Fixture.

ROFL.



3 - 4 PM, BS2, CONSTITUTIONAL LAW TUTORIAL, DR JOHAN

Topic: Emergency laws in operation in an Emergency.

Chelsea
Dr Johan, Dr Johan, what is Popcorn?

Dr Johan
Not Popcorn... EPOPCO...


4 - 6 PM, BS4, ORAL SKILLS FOR LAW, MS GILL



Topic: Electing a chairperson for the debate. (Jack was chosen)

Ms Gill
So what does a chairperson do?

*silence*

Chelsea
Sit on a chair.

Monday, 28 September 2009

no title is catchy title.

it's sad when people feel unwanted.
perhaps even sadder when people don't know people feel unwanted.

thought of the day after browsing through blogs today.

1. it's just one of those days. one of those days that make you think: "k. maybe it isn't always pms."

2. the more i say "dui" ("betul") the more it sounds weird. who says practice makes perfect? ya, i've said it a gazillion times cuz chelsea tried to make me say it less like a banana. duiduiduiduiduiduiduiduiduiduitwitwitwitter. see?

3. dropped jason outside the clinic, went to the canteen, then forgot where the clinic was right after. nested in the car and waited instead. what's new?

4. i embrace my peculiarities. i'm not weird. you people have no imagination.

5. doing the right thing and doing the right thing with the right spirit are two different things.

6. we trust. we love. we get hurt. and we remember. melancholics. use the last trait to get into law school. what am i saying gahness.

7. michael learns to rock is so not for such days as today.

8. i need His shoulder.

9. Lord, take my hand.

Sunday, 27 September 2009

taylor swift - picture to burn



State the obvious, I didn't get my perfect fantasy

I realize you love yourself more than you could ever love me
So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy
That's fine;
You won't mind if I say [Original: I'll tell mine you're gay
]
And by the way...

I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned
You're
just another picture to burn

There's no time for tears,
I'm just sitting here planning my revenge
There's nothing stopping me
From going out with all of your best friends
And if you come around saying sorry to me
My daddy's gonna show you how sorry you'll be

If you're missing me,
You'd better keep it to yourself
Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health

Burn, burn, burn, baby, burn
You're just another picture to burn
Baby, burn.


i like taylor swift.

malaysian food hawkers boyband.

sis' ex-roomie's boyfriend is in there too. ahaha.

typical.

last week's sermon: consumerism.
today's sermon: sex. oook, it was 'new trends in sexuality', but mr julian focused on sex, see.

Me

So did you guys go out for CG on Friday?

Adrian
No. So we're gonna do DOUBLE this Friday. Consumerism... and Sex.


if there's any relation at all between the two, it's a pretty awkward one.


Sam
Eh, so, are we gonna do Consumerism or Sex this Friday?

Me
Adrian said we're doing both.

Sam
O_O Ooooooo~

Desmond
I know, I know - Sex, from a consumer's point of view. Ahhhh. *bangga*


sex consumption?

...

a-ha-ha.


-after church-


Desmond
Tze Wei, you just follow my car. I won't bother telling you directions.

Me
Ya, please don't bother.


i terhilang while following desmond's car to seaview.


-makan time-

desmond and ching sze. (ching sze is so pretttttty! *ignores des* =P)


Desmond
I was just telling Sam how you've improved and then --

Me
Har. I improved ar?

Desmond
... I was just telling Sam how you've improved a little bit.

Me
A little bit?

Sam
Nah, I think you only got better at forgetting directions.


see. i was just telling louis that sam is desmond's disciple.


Sam
(to louis) You're pretty good with directions eh. Are you a local?

Me
He's from Kuching.

Sam
That's even worse. Don't you feel ashamed of yourself? Ashamed? You should go jump off a cliff! ...for starters!

Me
For starters? How can I do anything else d after jumping off a cliff??


*types in nokia-san*


Sam
Oh. I keep forgetting that. (to desmond) Now I understand your silence.

Desmond
*nods wisely* From now on, I'm only going to say 'yes' and 'no'. Then you got nothing to blog about d. I.e. "I asked Desmond something and he said: Yes. *tu tu tu tu*"


*types in nokia-san*


Desmond
o_O! In class do people like you???

Louis
Nope.


yup. typical sunday.


sam: "why're you taking our picture?"

Saturday, 26 September 2009

jack: "tse hwei, am i handsome?"

me: "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder."
chelsea: "and the beholder sudah extinct."

=P

public: "now only read bulletin eh."

Dear friends,

I am now reporting from OM Malaysia. I returned from Aceh on 31 May, and am waiting for the next assignment.

At first I went with an expectation to give but actually, by His grace, I was given much.

In the beginning, I was expecting myself to serve by doing things, teaching and training. But God taught me the value of building relationships, and that sitting around with the women in the village (seemingly doing nothing) and listening to them, was a step in building relationships, trust and bonding.

"To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God" (Micah 6:8) is my calling in life, and I think that calling can be played out in many different ways in different seasons of life. I know that I love serving among the poor. The Lord has given me these passions for many years, and I have learned that He is faithful to bring to fruition the dreams He gives to us.

He has taught me whilst in the field to see His face in every moment and circumstance. Each moment is a gift, and His goodness is real and evident in all of these moments.

My heart cries out that ALL people would know Jesus. Just as deep in my heart, is a desire that all believers would know the fullness of life in Christ that is offered to us.

So that is my prayer for you all for today and the days to come, and until we all know His glory face to face.

In His Grace,

Jamie


was highlighting names in the pjgh bulletins to see how many people there are that i actually know, and came across this letter in august 2's bulletin. the above is bits and pieces of her entire reflective letter to the church. don't you think she sounds like Paul when he was writing to the churches? ^_^

bulletins are definitely good for big churches. =)

Friday, 25 September 2009

where can i go

went to see popo. although i was supposed to drive back in the evening. because of that video. told popo of how i think i can answer the tutors' questions in tutorial classes, but don't, because i hesitate. because i'm afraid.

popo gave a surprise motivational lecture on how as a lim, i must be brave. i mustn't be afraid to learn and to make mistakes. she said that grandpa always praised my aunt's intelligence; dad and uncle tp are intelligent too; so is mum; so is sis... and then she said it's a good thing we got all that from grandpa, and not from her, because she's... well, the chinese words she used were dan chun. stupid. i don't like the words. because my grandma is so not stupid. both my grandmas are intelligent women, robbed of the glory and praises their male counterparts received, only because of their lack of education.

i felt sad when she said all that, because i had that nagging feeling. you know how it is with grandmas? you keep wondering, although you try not to, when they will leave you.

choy, someone will say, and kick me in the butt.

but it's true.

you make so many resolutions - to spend more time with them, to talk to them more instead of going on the net when you're in their house, to give them so much love their blood oozes it...

and then you procrastinate.

and then it's too late.

that love that you wanted so much to give them, is the very love that will break your heart beyond repair when that day comes.

if only i...
if only we...
if only.
if only.

sometimes you can tell by the way they talk. sometimes they know when they're gonna leave. i've nothing much to say about this, because - praise God - both my grandmas are still with me. but yeah, sometimes you can tell. sometimes it's not the when itself, but the possibility of when.

i read a journal entry written not too long ago. it was a day before sunday. and what i wrote can be summed up in this question i asked God today:

Where can I go from Your spirit?

Psalm 139:7


no, it wasn't uttered in praise. read it in the context of this entire post.

i wonder, if God were human, if He'd get that nagging feeling when i say things like that.

sis says my blog is not for the bimbotic, or for the unbimbotic who need occasional bimbotic moments.

here's another anti-bimbotic post. =P

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

amreeta's quote on facebook.

laws and principles are not for times when there is no temptation:
they are for such moments as this,
when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigour;
stringent are they;
inviolate they shall be.
If at my individual convenience I might break them,
what would be their worth?
wisdom or freedom?

sigh.

the bird in the cage makes a wish.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

he looked and hid.

he pulled down his sleeve and wrapped his cloak tighter around himself.

the crowd was massive, as always. he waited. and watched. they mustn't see me.

he peered behind the stones again. he'd heard that Jacob who used to live next door had been healed. but Jacob had only been ill. feverish at most. he had never heard of the man healing... one of his kind. he looked down at his bandaged hand and caught a glimpse of white skin. even looking at it hurt. he winced. then caught himself. they mustn't see me.

he heard a child laugh.

little eli. he wondered if his son was still a child.

"miriam, i went to see the priest today. he said..."
"i know."
and she'd touched the bundle on the table without another word.

he stopped the tear before it could form in his left eye.

miriam had come the other day. he'd just managed to make out her shadow on the floor of the cave. she'd said that if he could try, maybe they could be a family again. he could stop shouting "unclean" when he walked the streets. maybe he could... see his face again.

he peered again. the crowd was overwhelming. how many "unclean"s did he have to shout this time?

and then he saw him. the one with the face that was both determined and kind. and at that moment, he knew that miriam was right. he had to try.

he drew himself up, ignoring the pain that shot through his body as he did, and wobbled to meet him. he knelt down and bowed his head as the crowd grew silent first, then began to murmur. "A leper," the murmurs said.

"Lord," he whispered, his voice trembling. he felt the crowd retreat. he swallowed, and his throat burned. he'd forgotten to shout "unclean". but the sandalled feet never moved. his knees hurt from kneeling.

"If you are willing," If, he thought. if you are willing. "You can make me clean."

he held his breath as the crowd fell silent. still, he fixed his eyes on the sandalled feet.

then he felt a hand on his shoulder. the crowd gasped. it was forbidden to touch a leper.

he looked up into gentle eyes, and his Lord said,

"I am willing. Be clean."

and suddenly the hand on his shoulder was light. he raised his own involuntarily, and for once his bandages were the only white he saw. he tried to speak, tried to thank the man, but his voice wouldn't speak the words that his mouth formed. the man smiled, put a finger to his lips in a motion of silence and said,

"don't tell anyone. but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, as a testimony to them."

he got up and ran the way he could run 10 years ago.

and so it was that the nameless leper came to call upon the book of Leviticus of the Jews.

Friday, 18 September 2009

malacca.

Emily
Tse Hwei, can you, like, get a map of Malacca for me?

Me
Ya, sure. I need one also.

Emily
o_O But... you're from Malacca.

Hooi Ping
*pffft*

Swee Kit
K. Then you get two maps k? One for you and one for Emily.


***
back home. and as always, facing the same challenge.

need to sit down and tell my brain to think.

who? what? where? when? how? why? can?

can is not an option. must.

sigh.

maybe it's just the fact that we're not youth anymore. that's why the youth meeting isn't working.

so how?

internal BGR and external BGR. i thought one was better than the other.

so how?

holidays, holidays, holidays. helping out with children's ministry as a last resort is not a solution. it's a modified game of pretend.

so how?

memory of youth ministry being shut down in the past. fear of it happening again in the present.

so how?

can't be around all the time. people are not around a lot of the time.

so how?

afraid of crossing the line from concern to worry to judging. afraid of falling from concern to complacency to indifference.

so how?

so pray.

i do believe.

Photobucket

we were made for greater things.

i await the great big adventure
that will sum up
the little adventures of everyday life.

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

predicament solved.

pkv is on, on friday 12.30pm.

quiz on colossians.

ah.

should i go for it?

=P

*smacks forehead*

i was sending the law career convention proposal to some law firms, and *ahem* browsing through blogs at the same time *multi-tasking is not a sin* and guess what.

don't know which blog la tetiba keluar music wan.

AND I WAS IN THE LIBRARY. still am.

*smacks forehead*

lesson learned: do not read blogs in the library.

on another note, i'm wondering if i should drive back to malacca on thursday, after my tutorial ends at 5pm, or on friday morning. why the predicament?

because i heard on the radio last week that "there is to be no driving on the 18 & 19 of september".

huh?

on a third note, i read this on yen's blog: "two incidents happened that reminded me of tse hwei". i was like, bangga siot. then guess what.

she equated me with su-eh.

-_-!

on a fourth note, dr johan called names today - some of those who were absent on monday - and said to write a show-cause letter explaining our absence. if he isn't satisfied with our answer, he'll make us do an assignment.

har-di-har-har.

i was upset at first, because i knew, and i knew that he knew, that there were more than just those who were called. and we're being 'punished' for being honest.

but then i realized that i'd committed a wrong by not attending in the first place, so i have to be punished anyway. and just as we do the right thing regardless of whether other people do the same, we must be punished for a wrong regardless of whether other people are punished for the same wrong.

in any case, i'm relieved that i'm finally being punished, because in some way, i hope this can rectify that wrong.

but i obviously don't have a good reason for not going. bah.



wilber, john and i sat down to write our letters together.

wilber's hands.


john calls this: "three remorseful people writing show-cause letter".

Monday, 14 September 2009

family law test.

it's on tuesday. i didn't study as much as i'd liked about Domicile on friday, studied 10 pages about Jurisdiction (which is actually the huge set of which Domicile is a subset. ahaha...) on saturday, and attempted (in vain) to finish Divorce on sunday, woke up two hours after my prescribed alarm clock ring (5am).

the day started bad.

my sensitive ears got even more sensitive this morning. i couldn't stand the sound of the door opening (i opened it), of liverpool's butt touching the seat opposite me an hour later (ya, i could hear that well), of kheng fai sniffing beside me a further 20 minutes later (at that point, i prayed: "O God, help me"), and - this one was really the last straw - the sound of Chelsea shuffling about in her bedroom slippers. if the world could end with a shuffle, it did.

"stop walking around la, yoh!" i said, with an impatient wave of my hand. k, it was more polite than i intended, but less polite than i should've been.

chelsea retreated into the kitchen.

then i succumbed to peer pressure and skipped Constitutional Law class. yeah, i said not to sign my attendance for me, but still. never liked skipping classes. felt loser-ish.

we got to the faculty for Administrative Law tutorial at 11am, and our friends told us Dr Johan was upset about the low attendance and counted heads. and yeah, i remember i told people not to sign for me anyway. but still. loser-ish.

i paid Professor Grace the usual amount of attention in Land Law lecture (not much) and wrote a bit in my journal before i started on my Family Law. i opened my Law Reform Act (LRA) to section 54, and at that point, Jira beside me, looked.

see, datin had told us that the test wouldn't be an open-book test, because if it was, we'd all fail 100%. but she said:

"*sinister* and i don't care what you write in your LRA. write whatever you want. i'm not going to check. *sinister*"

so i did. i wrote related sections beside some of the sections, and wrote brief case summaries for the relevant sections. i didn't want to at first, because it felt weird, although datin told us we could. but i did anyway.


why did i feel ashamed when Jira looked?

-journal-


yes, i felt ashamed. i started to think that maybe i was doing something wrong after all. loser-ish yet again.

went for Family Law tutorial at 2pm. i opened my LRA, and Chelsea leaned over and whispered: "eh start to write in your LRA d ar? i thought somebody said won't do this kind of thing wan?"

i seriously didn't remember saying that. but Chelsea insisted.

and my whole world crumbled.

even if writing in the LRA wasn't inherently wrong, going against a promise of principle made it utterly wrong.

i can't.

i can't accept failure. and failure to keep a promise is a great and grave failure.

holding a broken promise in my hand is unbearable. so is breaking one. due to past failures, as much as i can, i try to move mountains to keep my word.

i was crushed the entire tutorial. i contemplated erasing the case summaries i'd written in my LRA. yet again, i felt the urge to keep them there.


I do not understand what I do.
For what I want to do I do not do,
but what I hate I do.

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good,
but I cannot carry it out.

For what I do
is not the good I want to do;

No, the evil I do not want to do—
this I keep on doing.


romans 7:15, 18-19


When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
but I see another law at work in the members of my body,
waging war against the law of my mind
and making me a prisoner
of the law of sin at work within my members.

romans 7:21-23


loser-ish.

i can't say for sure if i'd have erased them if the next event hadn't come along. all i know is i would've cried erasing those summaries. cuz i can't finish. i really can't read and memorize all in two days.

then hooi ping sms-ed: "datin said can bring proforma.."

five words. five very meaningful words. datin even said we can write whatever we want in our proforma (course outline).

that's essentially the same thing as datin saying, "it's an open-book test, but i'm going to pretend it's not."

i will write in my proforma. because it means that i'll only write whatever i manage to read. datin is being kind because she's giving me the chance to take the test with just some READING, and not memorizing as well. i will not clip notes to my proforma. i will not colour my notes yellow and pretend it's the proforma. this is the second chance God has given me to redeem myself, and i must take it. the thought of breaking His heart twice in a row is unbearable. unbearable. not in a i'm-so-righteous way, but in this way:


What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death?

romans 7:24


so here i am, blogging though i should be studying. blogging because i feel i must. i must share this before i think it's nothing tomorrow.

Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

romans 7:25



p/s: i found out later, when i confessed to chelsea that i felt guilty for writing in the LRA, that i DIDN'T say i wouldn't write in the LRA after all. the incident started like this:

chelsea: "yoh... write or don't write also will fail."
me: "don't write lor. =P"

-_-!

curse you, orang yang tak paham sarcasm!

=P

Sunday, 13 September 2009

browsing the pages of my life

...is technically the same as browsing through the pages of my blog. because i don't bother munching on my tongue. aha. the only difference between my blog and my journals is that i occasionally write mundane things in my journals. and some, well, other things. let's not major on the minor. =P

this was when i wrote about the footstool players' take on the elliots. i still maintain my high standards *ahem*, but i give compliments more easily now.

i write less condensed articles about events now. i hope *gulp*. here's when i wrote about the OA trip.

here's where i wondered if i could be an honest lawyer. as of 13 september 2009, i maintain my resolve to strive towards that end.

birthday surprise post. i still occasionally surprise people on their birthdays. though not on such a huge scale nemore. did one for chelsea and ah will in july though. and oh ya, i still jump at people from behind the door. muahaha. no, not childish.

encouragement posts. i have given up doing so for the very simple reason that it is more impactful to encourage a person personally and face-to-face. and for the other very simple reason that not everyone can read long articles.

destiny. i don't believe the future changes all the time, as alleged in PUSH. but it's a natural human tendency to label the future as such when things don't happen according to our expectations. so, humanly speaking, my future seems like it's changing all the time.

about teaching the children's hour and the stuff i do along the away. i don't teach children anymore. ken ken has also stopped asking me for help with his math. i wonder why. i am still as scatter-brained, and my level of Hokkien has not improved by much except i can now say "i don't know how to hear" in Hokkien. and i have talked more to chai hoe, but not by much.

over-planning habit. which i have managed to conquer, but i am now tilting towards the other end, which is laziness and over-spontaneity so help me God. on a brighter note, i am still very much concerned about helping others with their English. now, if only someone would help me with my Mandarin.

exacting revenge on marcus in badminton. which i never did. incapable means incapable. hah.

christmas musical. i am still a fan of keeping secrets, then bringing them into the open in full, glorious blasts. it's like when seoks and i tip-toed into the school hall and then the teacher just called our names like he didn't notice we were trying to hide. hah.

my life as a pianist. would be taken to have ceased, if not for the occasional returns to malacca. i once thought i would never be identified as something else other than a pianist. i was wrong.

disappointments. i have learned that i won't have so much to forgive if i could just be less judgmental.

inferiority complex. i still feel inferior. a lot. but i have learned that just as i find people to be more than what they are when i know them better, i also find people to be less than what they are. in a good way. i feel more comfortable around people now. mostly.




pjgh. relationship with the youth has not developed as i'd hoped. i'm now more comfortable with pjgh-ians, but not as much as i'd like. but, as beng hui said, it's like this in bigger churches. as times goes by, i see more and more differences between mgc and pjgh, and i realize that it can't be helped. i shouldn't expect similiar things from different things. maybe this thought will make things better. but i have made friends in pjgh, friends i treasure (that law-students critic obviously one of them. aha.). i maintain my resolve to work towards a closer relationship with them.

people. i have learned that it is not easy to be a human in trouble and that things are blown out of proportion when people are sinking. i have gained more patience in listening to others and in accepting that they sometimes don't listen. but. people still don't listen. hahahaha. good thing i accept d. =P

perception of law students. i maintain that we don't have to talk much. but we should have an adequate level of english. period.

rhyming skills. i am still unable to rhyme.

piang. yes, i am still unable to elaborately express my disappointment with people i'm close to. piang would still suffice for now.


i have changed. not by much in the bad things, and by much in the good things, i hope.

oh ya.

studying. i didn't get down to studying back then. i am still very much a procrastinator. hah.


going out for dinner.

remember my family law test and pray for me. three questions to answer in one hour.

thanks.

items #4 and #5 off the list.

Friday CG email:

Me
k. tell me how to go again, cuz i forgot d. ^_^

Desmond
Take the UM bus :)

Me
i throw the UM bus at you. -_-

Desmond
You can lift a bus but can't get down the road to Peter's place :) A useful set of skills there...


PJGH, Sunday:

Desmond
Eh how come didn't go for CG?


des acquired some skills while i was away in malacca.
cepatnya lari. ish.


...I so could've said: "You lah. Insult me. I tersinggung."

But neh, I chose to be nice and said, "Study."

Ahaha.

Yeah, item #8 is Family Law test on Tuesday. I'm usually okay with tests, but this test involves an insane lecturer, hence the stress. aih.

I chose to skip CG because I decided the other one would be more worthwhile. In the long run, that is. Yeah, I know the other one takes up more time. The other one being SAGC's Chinese Youth Detectives. nama cun sangat. haha. As lousy as I am in making calculations, I am still capable enough to know that I spend 11 hours there every time I go.

Public: Wait. What are you doing in a Chinese ministry?

Ah, good question. The first time I went (last week), I was wondering the same thing also.

Ya, ya, I can read, write and speak in Mandarin, but I can hardly think in Mandarin. And how to read, write and speak without thinking? Aish.

I feel more comfortable in the Mandarin-speaking circle than in the English one. Odd.

11 hours.

If our youth in Malacca spent 11 hours in church, we'd be persecuted.

Anyway.

Anderson talked to us about refugees. It made an impact on me, especially in light of recent events. One thing he said struck me most:

There are a lot of things and people to fight for.
Forget about the things.
Fight for the people -
the disadvantaged, the unfortunate, the poor,
the ones without justice.


I sat there wishing I could pull my Nokia-san out of my pocket.

Then he continued:

It doesn't have to do with money.
If you're a mentally-slow person in a rich family,
if your family thinks you're bad luck,
you're at a disadvantage.
If you're a loner in church,
always in a corner,
hopelessly nervous when you see people walking over,
you're at a disadvantage.
As Christians,
what are we doing about the disadvantaged?


Oi, that wasn't what he said aso.

Ya, maybe. He meant it though. Nyeh nyeh. That's what my brain heard as he said whatever he said anyway.

Yet again, he spoke about us being pilgrims in this world. Travellers, not meant to make a permanent home here.

I listened to Dr Alistair McGregor as he spoke the same words last week.
I shared this with the Law CG last week.
I shared with Wilber and Jack about this concept of Christianity as a faith that was never meant to be in power or authority in a country because we were never meant to remain here.

People have spoken and people have asked.

Ah, Lord, what would You have me do?

I'm aware that my second year is a busy one. I'm well aware that I will, on many occasions, regret my decision to be in church for 11 hours, when I could be studying or completing assignments or having group discussions.

The question to ask is really, are those 11 hours time wasted or time invested?


apple ad or tooth decay ad?
-credit to calvin's apple-


When the music fades, all is stripped away.

-Matt Redman, Heart of Worship


I've pondered this many times over. What is left of me without my music?

Perhaps the time has come for a moment of discovery.

Perhaps.

Friday, 11 September 2009

3rd item off the list.

the depressing thing about the checklist was actually the one on top.

datin.

criminal law tutorial.

black fridays? pish-posh. i have dark wednesdays and charcoal thursdays.

datin didn't yell today. she didn't sneer. didn't mock. didn't chase anybody out of the class.

but i left the room feeling some notches below nothing. some notches below nothing means you feel nothing first, then you go lower and lower and lower to some feeling you can't describe. it's like the invisible keys on the piano that people can't describe.

on my charcoal thursdays i wander the faculty and somehow end up in the cafe, where i get myself whatever's hot on my makan list (at the moment it is bihun goreng) and stare into space because i have nothing better to do since i forgot my journal.

ah. still.

aside from the episode in tiara of ah will's valiant efforts in separating a cockroach from its internal juices, reading just a few lines of my journal has helped. because feelings change. and it is a great misfortune that our perception of things change with our feelings.

i was happy back then. why are things different now?

such things.

that ms gill would term melodramatic. ceh! =P

and back then can mean two days ago, or two hours ago, or two weeks. how often feelings change!

just finished preparing my land law presentation for tomorrow. i'm tired. both from the lack of sleep and the lack of... purpose? ah. yet another invisible key on the piano.

or maybe it's just 2.24am, that's why.

*potong stim*

in times like these...

i rest my head on the shoulder of Your promises.


Look at the birds of the air;
they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,
and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.
Are you not much more valuable than they?

Matthew 6:26

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

the dark spots.

Ah.
Maker of heaven and earth,
You move mountains...
Shape them according to Your pleasure,
If I could
I would ask that You move my mountains,
Better yet,
I would ask that You remove them.
But I can't.
So all I ask is for the courage
To tell my mountains,

My God moves.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

who we are.

'The LORD, the God of your fathers -
the God of Abraham,
the God of Isaac
and the God of Jacob' ...
This is My name forever,
the name by which I am to be remembered
from generation to generation.

Exodus 3:15


The God of Abraham the hero of faith,
The God of Jacob, called Israel, the intelligent and successful,
The God of Isaac the ordinary.

God is not ashamed to be your God. He is not ashamed to be the God of the ordinary.
If we could realize this,
Oh, what a change it would bring to the work of the Lord!

-Mr Alistair McGregor


i may not know what my calling is.
but i know people need the Lord,
and people need me.
that may be
all i need to know.

sayang you, popo.

Monday, 7 September 2009

maybe i'm rigid. hah.

i like the subjects with statutes.

maybe because construction and interpretation are the only i skills i possess that stand unparalleled in this faculty.

that's why i get so upset when datin won't let me use the Penal Code for my Criminal Law tutorial.

maybe she knows it's a bluffing skill especially useful when one hasn't prepared for a tutorial class. =.= (other such skills are asking tons of questions to stall for time, piecing everybody else's contribution to form a seemingly profound opinion, or for one particular person - praising the tutor i.e. wah you so pretty today, puan)

neway. going off.

buhbye.

Sunday, 6 September 2009

it finally happened.

Geng Yi
"Eh Hwei, when did you come back? Why didn't come yesterday?"

Unc Wai Shoong
"Once again, we welcome Dr Alistair McGregor. I think most of us were here last night ...."

Keith
"Let's close our eyes, be still and reflect on the 50 years that have passed .... week after week for 50 years .... For 50 Christmases we've been here .... 50 Easters and Good Fridays ...."

Benny
"Yesterday we gathered in this place to celebrate 50 years of ...."

Keith
"We sang this song last night."

Unc Chee Wah
"And now I invite our elder Wee Min to make some announcements about the 50th anniversary."

Unc Wee Min
"Thank you all for your cooperation, to those involved and those who came .... I know not all of you would've gotten a copy of the Coffee Book for the anniversary because of your busy schedules ...."

Grace
*nudge*

Geng Yi
*snicker*

Unc Wee Min
"Now that we've celebrated it, we have to ask ourselves: What now?"

Me
"Celebrate again, please. Because I missed it."

Yup. I missed it.

5 September, Saturday, 2 pm
Unc Dex: "K, I'm going to PJGH."
Me: "Oh, tomorrow?"
"No. Today."
"For what?"
"The anniversary?"
"What. An. Ni. Ver. Sa. Ry."
"The 50th Anniversary Dinner? P-J-G-H?"
"IT'S TODAY?"
"D-uhhhh."

user posted image



yu shen: "i thought lawyers are supposed to have good memory wan. this one... aih. *shakes head*"
jason v.: "i guess it's just a stereotype we impose on people. it's not true, not true at all. *shakes head*"
dr alistair: "yesterday was a wonderful day."
yes, yes, i get it, i get it! ish.

Friday, 4 September 2009



She calls me baby, then she won't call me.
Says she adores me and then ignores me.
Jenny, what's the problem?
She keeps her distance and sits on fences.
Puts up resistance and builds defenses.

Jenny, what's the problem?
You leave me hanging on the line.
Every time you change your mind.

First You say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
We're standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny, it's killing me.

She needs her own space. She's playing mind games.
Ends up at my place saying that she's changed.
Jenny, what's the problem?
I'm trying to read between the lines.
You got me going out of my mind.

First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
We're standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny, it's killing me. It's killing me. It's killing me.
Jenny.

First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
We're standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny.

First, you say you won't, then you say you will.
You keep me hanging on, and we're not moving on.
We're standing still, Jenny. You got me on my knees.
Jenny. It's killing me. It's killing me. Jenny.