tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12842729218936476662024-03-08T07:57:11.971+08:00I Write. My Blog Speaks.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.comBlogger940125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-47711760980776342582020-11-24T19:49:00.005+08:002020-11-24T19:49:20.172+08:00The worst kind of lonely.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrN0Xp5OId7qtQtOd4YxQp8C-6dDqUtcmvmeED-vpPZmLrCZIm71RmI0TCBes4Dynre45ZpA19PD6sx71NaMrE2bcUXQuS0nLuWNymhDb03_Z8Y6bTgHKF7EDsVLkJOxgWGSyaYNdRv6B9/s609/PAFF_012918_alonecrowd-609x419.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="419" data-original-width="609" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrN0Xp5OId7qtQtOd4YxQp8C-6dDqUtcmvmeED-vpPZmLrCZIm71RmI0TCBes4Dynre45ZpA19PD6sx71NaMrE2bcUXQuS0nLuWNymhDb03_Z8Y6bTgHKF7EDsVLkJOxgWGSyaYNdRv6B9/s320/PAFF_012918_alonecrowd-609x419.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Picture taken from https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/isolating-the-costs-of-loneliness</span></i></div><p></p>hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-45390435764550134802019-07-29T11:49:00.005+08:002019-07-29T11:49:54.501+08:00Pride and Prejudice.<div style="text-align: justify;">
When I was a secondary school student, my English teacher asked me to answer a question from the textbook. </div>
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I did. </div>
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My answer was correct. </div>
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But she suddenly went on a tirade, saying that my answer was wrong, lecturing me in front of everyone and saying that I was always proud.</div>
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It was a really long tirade. </div>
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Thankfully, for the health of my soul, I only remember the part where she said I was always proud. But I remember the gist of her lecture, which was that I was too proud and therefore made the very mistake I didn't think I would ever make. </div>
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I also remember what I felt was the purpose of her lecture, which I suppose was to "put me in my place" for being proud. And apparently, the only way to effectively humble me was to do it in public. Because nothing breeds humility more than public humiliation. </div>
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I also remember what I felt at that point <i>(ok, not really at that point, because I used to be a blur sotong and sarcasm and its brothers would usually fly over my head at the material point of time and only come back to haunt me later in the day as I thought a little more about it) - </i>the feeling of being wronged, wrongfully accused and betrayed. </div>
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After her tirade, she moved on to ask the next person to answer the next question, then realized that my answer had been correct after all - she had actually read the wrong question. </div>
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So I was - supposedly - vindicated. </div>
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A friend behind me blurted out, "Teacher, you wrongly accused her."</div>
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The teacher ignored her and went on to the next question. </div>
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I think that incident has stayed with me for a long time, partly because I'm a words person, and words that deeply hurt me are difficult to forget. I remember them and more crucially, the host of feelings that come with those words as if they were spoken yesterday. </div>
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Recounting this incident because of something which recently happened and triggered this memory. </div>
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I suppose this would most definitely count as something to deal with in counseling class.</div>
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Also, teachers, parents, leaders, friends, colleagues - be careful what you say to other people. Your words may have a greater impact than you think. </div>
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Applicable to self also.</div>
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Let there be less pride and prejudice, </div>
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and more humility and grace. </div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-81421848466381585932017-04-25T17:33:00.000+08:002017-04-25T17:35:35.794+08:00pieces of me.<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's just one of those days when you have 50 things on your to-do list but everyone is on your tail like their case is the only one you're working on.</div>
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I am reminded of the parable of the unforgiving servant in times like these - when my boss does not berate me for a mistake I made, but assists me as much as he can instead. Makes me stand back and re-evaluate how harsh I have been on my students in comparison to his response to my mistakes. </div>
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Instead of taking over what I perceive to be my boss' role of berating myself when I have erred, I'm taking a few minutes to recap what I have learned today:-</div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>#1</b> - Maintain the same level of efficiency in lull periods as in busy periods so that I don't have to drastically increase my level of efficiency during busy periods. </div>
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<b>#2 </b>- Get enough sleep so that my mind can function at its optimum level instead of being the dull thing it is right now. I can get more work done that way.</div>
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<b>#3</b> - While I cannot control when my clients decide to call me or check on their files (which, like today, means they decided to call almost all at once), I can control how I respond to it.</div>
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<b>#4</b> - There are people who are willing to help me and I do not have to bear everything on my own. My colleagues are awesome and I thank God for them.</div>
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<b>#5</b> - I will get more done when I'm in a better mood. Being unkind and unfriendly to other people does not lead to a good mood in any way. Therefore, smiles, thank-you's, and hold-on-ya's work better for this goal than frowns, curt no's, and I'm-busy-go-away's.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-90020498039950250592016-09-28T16:35:00.005+08:002016-09-28T16:41:44.905+08:00Listen to the lawyer.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">What is a subpoena?</span></u></b></div>
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A subpoena is a legal document issued by the court (though prepared by a lawyer) with the court's seal, ordering a witness to attend court on such and such a date to testify or produce documents on behalf of the party who requested for the issuance of the subpoena. </div>
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Because it is issued by the court:-</div>
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(a) non-compliance with a subpoena amounts to contempt of court; and</div>
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(b) evasion of a subpoena (where successfully proved) amounts to contempt of court.</div>
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<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">Why are subpoenas issued / necessary?</span></u></b></div>
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Under the laws of evidence, a party who makes an allegation has the burden to prove it, that is, by producing documents or calling witnesses to provide oral testimony. </div>
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The general rule is that the maker of a particular document <u>must</u> attend court to prove the authenticity <u>and</u> the contents of the document, unless both parties agree to dispense with such proof.<br />
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(Maker of a document = the person who wrote / signed / prepared the document)</div>
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Hence, the bundle of documents filed in court is to be categorized as follows:-</div>
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(a) Part A - both parties agree that the document is real and agree with its contents;</div>
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(b) Part B - both parties agree that the document is real but someone disagrees with its contents; and</div>
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(c) Part C - someone says the document is fake and disagrees with its contents.</div>
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Subpoena witnesses are usually formal witnesses, for example, a bank officer to testify that a bank account statement is authentic, because it was disputed by the other party for who knows what reason. </div>
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Some subpoena witnesses are essential witnesses who can testify concerning a material (important) fact, for example, the Plaintiff says in his pleadings or during trial that Person A was there when the Defendant caused the accident and can prove that he's telling the truth. Person A has to be called to corroborate the Plaintiff's allegation, otherwise it is only a bare allegation without substance. Under the Evidence Act, the Defendant can ask the court to presume that the Plaintiff is hiding something by failing to call Person A despite being able to do so (that's a whole other topic to discuss). </div>
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Subpoena witnesses usually have nothing to do with the case, in that they are not personally liable for anything. If they were personally liable, they would have been made a co-Defendant or a third party to the case. So they actually have nothing to lose from attending court. Especially since the law requires the party who subpoenaed the witness to give the witness "reasonable allowance" for attending court.</div>
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What I'm trying to say is - don't bash the lawyer for requesting for the subpoena. He's just trying to do his job under the law, and not trying to "trouble" or "disturb" you, or "make your life difficult".</div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">When is a subpoena served?</span></u></b></div>
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When a lawyer hands you a subpoena, lets you read it, or explains its contents to you - all the while being in arm's reach of you - it's complete service on you even if you don't sign it or take it with you. The lawyer should explain this to you after you refuse to sign / take it. So listen carefully.</div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">What do I do after I've been served with a subpoena?</span></u></b></div>
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Attend court. Consult a lawyer if you must, but if that lawyer you consulted is worth their salt, they'll tell you to comply with the subpoena. Non-compliance with a subpoena entitles the lawyer to immediately apply for a warrant of arrest to be issued against you on the very day you fail to turn up in court. </div>
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If, for some reason, the lawyer is unable to put you on the stand on the day of trial and the matter is postponed to another date, the lawyer will write to you to inform you of the next trial date. It's his duty to do it.</div>
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Don't accuse the lawyer of forcing you to attend court, because:-</div>
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(a) the subpoena is a <u>court order</u>, not a lawyer's order;</div>
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(b) shouting won't magically excuse you from attending court; </div>
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(c) you are entitled to challenge the subpoena in court if it really has nothing to do with you; and</div>
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(d) you're not attending court for nothing - under the law, the party who called you has to reimburse you for expenses incurred.</div>
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Please note that you are required to attend court from the date mentioned in the subpoena until you finish your testimony. The lawyer usually tries to make the best arrangements for all witnesses so that you don't have to come to court unnecessarily (read: wait a whole day only to be told the case is postponed). </div>
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Why? Because then they'll have to pay you more, and trust me - they don't want to do that.</div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">What happens in court?</span></u></b></div>
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The lawyer who requested your presence will ask you questions in what we call the "Examination-in-Chief". </div>
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The opposing lawyer will then ask you questions in what we call the "Cross-Examination". During this stage, things may or may not get a little uncomfortable, because the opposing lawyer is basically trying to disprove everything you just said. </div>
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The first lawyer will then ask you some clarifying questions in what we call the "Re-Examination" if necessary, that is, if you said something inaccurate or which requires clarification during the Cross-Examination. </div>
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Then you go home and receive your allowance. </div>
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<span style="color: #cc0000;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><u><span style="color: #cc0000;">Why am I saying all this?</span></u></b></div>
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Because I'm sick and tired of people who refuse to listen when I try to explain these things to them ("Nothing to do with me, I don't want to hear it"), and then get angry and complain ("you're doing this to disturb me"), when all I've done is send them a letter informing them of then next trial date (as required under the law). </div>
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Seriously, people. </div>
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Listen to the lawyer. </div>
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If you're cooperative (read: not red-faced, shouting, or making false accusations), you guys can be best friends.</div>
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Plus, why are you running away from the subpoena? Have something to hide?</div>
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Just sayin'.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-64759404550498723502016-08-01T17:25:00.000+08:002016-08-03T12:06:14.880+08:00Seeing People and Not Their Reactions<div style="text-align: justify;">
Esmond and I signed up for a counseling course this year under the <i>Satir</i> model of counseling. </div>
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The special thing about this model is that instead of dealing with people's reactions or behaviour, we learn to see what is underneath the behaviour (the symptoms) and deal with their sense of self, yearnings, expectations, perceptions, feelings (the cause).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-3soBuIuUf52XGUGufLvRbgfrIP9pAk0ZRDPAnld0SPkBoSBLuflNj22Tt_7XqZ2RxzT39Y_8bRuE0rbv3MHjLzHJ5DFd0kK_FprPXFt54bPl1FAYxE0C5N6l_m33cU-wBeZOrweiMbN/s1600/Satir.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr-3soBuIuUf52XGUGufLvRbgfrIP9pAk0ZRDPAnld0SPkBoSBLuflNj22Tt_7XqZ2RxzT39Y_8bRuE0rbv3MHjLzHJ5DFd0kK_FprPXFt54bPl1FAYxE0C5N6l_m33cU-wBeZOrweiMbN/s400/Satir.jpg" width="290" /></a></div>
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What I really appreciate from the course so far is learning how to accept my feelings instead of resisting them. </div>
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Most people know I'm a crybaby. I cry at every movie; I cry when someone else cries. </div>
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Most people also know that I'm a stickler for protocol and procedure. There are certain things we <b>should</b> do; there are certain things we <b>shouldn't </b>do. Almost everything is a matter of can or cannot, should or should not. </div>
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That includes feelings. </div>
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I <i>should not </i>feel angry. </div>
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I <i>should not </i>feel upset. </div>
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A child <i>should </i>do this, a parent <i>should</i> do that, a student <i>should </i>think this, a teacher <i>should </i>think that.<br />
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Vulcanism, yet completely un-Vulcan, in that I thought I should not feel certain things, yet I could not stop feeling them.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Q0P4nHRTfjqQZMMfXvFLRh5-WpW4QKAMjIXfZibEfuIhWWANqUcY9Epfud4pbWhgRV9yIp0PvvDT4MV-5CpKFPRq155F1PWsSq3n4E6rRhmiLDwflH_O0gCOILHW2dgtkgFNBpn7o0QX/s1600/star-trek-spock1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Q0P4nHRTfjqQZMMfXvFLRh5-WpW4QKAMjIXfZibEfuIhWWANqUcY9Epfud4pbWhgRV9yIp0PvvDT4MV-5CpKFPRq155F1PWsSq3n4E6rRhmiLDwflH_O0gCOILHW2dgtkgFNBpn7o0QX/s320/star-trek-spock1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>I have been re-watching the Star Trek movies. Hee!</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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It was frustrating to feel sad or hurt, because those emotions often turned into anger or guilt, when I felt trapped by my own rules. </div>
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This course taught me that there is a difference between accepting my feelings, and responding negatively to them. </div>
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I can accept without liking. </div>
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I can accept without responding negatively. </div>
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I can accept, and thereafter move on.</div>
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Applying what I learned to people around me, I saw first-hand the difference it made when I told people to accept what they were feeling and stay with it, than when I had hurried to calm them with a box of tissue or what I thought were logical or comforting words.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLnRU_NoUst8J7hdXisfKYHgv3FSSQLzjGVZdsMuq4-kQXTBKSxOM7x379lVxjuMQ0_XAM_RkYB_iOlcraAfQXU9dVlT7JMfcheTSe5zvhfQebXoVbdXgUW7f8eakKd0wiRE0Qv-lb_YAp/s1600/discipleshipfreedom-300.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLnRU_NoUst8J7hdXisfKYHgv3FSSQLzjGVZdsMuq4-kQXTBKSxOM7x379lVxjuMQ0_XAM_RkYB_iOlcraAfQXU9dVlT7JMfcheTSe5zvhfQebXoVbdXgUW7f8eakKd0wiRE0Qv-lb_YAp/s1600/discipleshipfreedom-300.png" /></a></div>
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Shortly after we signed up for the counseling course, our church began a church-wide course called <i>Freedom in Christ Discipleship Course</i> by Steve Goss and Neil Anderson. The course shows us how a lot of Christians are living in bondage or not living the victorious Christian lives the Bible promised. </div>
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The premise of the course is "<i>the truth will set you free".</i></div>
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(a) Christ has already set us free by His work on the cross and His resurrection. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(b) By His work on the cross, Christ gave us the gift of complete and utter acceptance (<b>we are completely accepted as God's children</b>), significance (<b>we were created to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do</b>) and security (<b>nothing can separate us from His love</b>).</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(c) However, humans being humans, we forgot. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(d) Or we didn't understand. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(e) Or we didn't know the truth.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(f) Therefore, we continue to behave in unhealthy ways in our quest to gain acceptance, significance and security from other people or things, or even God.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(g) Feelings are important. Because without laying everything on the table and being vulnerable, we cannot truly forgive, and we cannot truly deal with an issue that has been affecting us.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
(h) We can't control our feelings, but we can control the thoughts that lead to those feelings. We choose to land our thoughts or ditch them. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
(i) Forgiveness is a choice we make, not an emotion. Likewise, getting out of a life of sin is a choice we make, because Christ has given us everything we need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
(j) By the grace of God which He has already freely given us, will we make the choice to be free?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For the first time, I learned to truly forgive. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Because I could pray, "Father, I choose to forgive (name of person) for (name the act) which made me feel (state feelings). I pray that You will bless (name of person)."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not, "Father, help me forgive", or "Father, I want to forgive", but "Father, I <b>choose</b> to forgive."</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="text-align: justify;">I have also had the privilege of putting my counseling training (although halfway only la) to good use. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEYfV2G9fJklQAxiMNPHQP9iaVgFHUUWPudfN3YwolQ6hT2dmg_rQ75u9CfLgz6KtTLGR57U2tztrZj7JMQWNtTe4n0L9OYR1jYyii-aGC2jRF4VU9Wh_bZKlFxP_i5y9HCzTGzQgcVmau/s1600/broken+together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEYfV2G9fJklQAxiMNPHQP9iaVgFHUUWPudfN3YwolQ6hT2dmg_rQ75u9CfLgz6KtTLGR57U2tztrZj7JMQWNtTe4n0L9OYR1jYyii-aGC2jRF4VU9Wh_bZKlFxP_i5y9HCzTGzQgcVmau/s1600/broken+together.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture taken from <a href="http://www.brutallyhonest.org/brutally_honest/2015/01/the-only-way-well-last-forever-is.html">here</a>. <br />
Although this song is about marriage teehee.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I guess the most liberating and eye-opening thing for me this year is that I learned to strike a balance between condoning someone's behaviour by sympathizing with them, and accepting someone's behaviour as a fact without having to like that behaviour.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I can accept that people behave a certain way without having to say they should or should not, can or cannot behave that way. Because I cannot change people, but I am in complete control of how I respond to them.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's amazing how many people's perception and expectations, and thus behaviour stem from a broken point in their early years.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Knowing this, seeing this, understanding this... how can I not love them with the love of Christ?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
How Christ must have loved all those who hated Him - this God who sees the hearts and minds of man!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwIt6tmXrTCzNQ9p_2ygZM5isCflRYDRhrDn9dVqXpkqY3ZUk5OCu07gR7KPVuvJ0mgh3sdfpPi4GXY5HAceKO2NA_3jchnhflPPkDJpTsgbezuZn6JZfCNatA3qh3QCA0yqoy6Fgn49h/s1600/2015-02-03-11-56-20_deco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvwIt6tmXrTCzNQ9p_2ygZM5isCflRYDRhrDn9dVqXpkqY3ZUk5OCu07gR7KPVuvJ0mgh3sdfpPi4GXY5HAceKO2NA_3jchnhflPPkDJpTsgbezuZn6JZfCNatA3qh3QCA0yqoy6Fgn49h/s400/2015-02-03-11-56-20_deco.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-19798814485714255842016-03-11T11:19:00.005+08:002016-03-11T11:19:58.466+08:00bread and butter.<div style="text-align: justify;">
Some people sacrifice the very thing that puts bread on the table just so they can show the world they have something to bring to the table. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They forget that without that bread and butter, they won't be in that position to do such frivolous things. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Ironic.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-53766840920792744082016-02-03T17:19:00.000+08:002016-02-03T17:26:14.017+08:00series of bad decisions.<div style="text-align: justify;">
Have you ever felt like you've been making a series of bad decisions?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
E.g. going "aiyahhh" after you end a call with someone, or "aiyohhh" in the car after you decide to leave Place A for Place B?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I feel like I've been making a series of bad decisions, or at least less-than-ideal decisions.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Went "aiyahhh" after getting off the phone with another lawyer twice today.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sometimes I ask myself, "When will this learning end?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I want to be a real professional, a problem-solver, someone who feels like she makes the right decisions all the time.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We talked about this last Friday at Young Adults CG - about what it must have been like for Adam and Eve before the Fall. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They were completely secure - they knew what they had been created for, no scrambling around in the dark trying to discover their purpose in life.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They were certainly significant - they knew what they meant to God, and they knew what God meant to them. No need to try to be somebody or something in life, because they were already everything to God and to each other.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
They were utterly accepted - no need to try to gain anybody's acceptance because they were already accepted by God and each other.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No need to "learn from mistakes" or "grow in character", because God provided all that they needed and assured them of all that they were.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We lost everything after the Fall. We became creatures constantly seeking a sense of security, significance, acceptance. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Look at your own life, and you'll know it's true. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Only in Christ can we find true freedom, because only in Christ is everything restored. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I am secure</span></b> - I cannot be separated from the love of God <i>(Romans 8:35-39)</i>. I am born of God and the evil one
cannot touch me <i>(1 John 5:18)</i>.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="color: #990000;">I am significant</span></b> - I am God’s workmanship, created for
good works <i>(Ephesians 2:10)</i>. I can do all things through Christ who
strengthens me! <i>(Philippians 4:13)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">I am accepted</span></b> - I am God’s child <i>(John 1:12)</i>. I am Christ’s friend <i>(John 15:15)</i>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I am </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>COMPLETE </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">in Christ. </span><br />
<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: medium;"><i>(Colossians 2:10)</i></span></div>
</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-54012753551787460932016-02-02T11:49:00.000+08:002016-02-02T11:49:22.348+08:00absence of courtesy and common sense.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u>What People Think I Do</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Me: "Hi. Can I speak to the lawyer in charge of (<i>ref number)</i>, please?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X: "Ok, please hold on."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u>What I Actually Do</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Me: "Hi. Can I speak to the lawyer in charge of (<i>ref number)</i>, please?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X: "Oh, this case eh. What is it about?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Me: "I need to clarify certain things about the Draft Index of the Bundle of Documents."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X: "Ok, when do you want the Draft Index?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Me: "I already have the Draft Index. I need to clarify certain items in the Draft."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X: "Ok, what do you want to clarify?"</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Me: "I have certain things I need to clarify with the lawyer in charge. Please pass the call to the lawyer."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X: "Oh, the lawyer in charge is on leave."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u>What X did that was so utterly wrong</u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b><u><br /></u></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>1. Zero courtesy. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
As a matter of courtesy, a lawyer attends to another lawyer at the earliest opportunity. If you're not a lawyer, and a lawyer on the other end of the line specifically asks for a lawyer, you either pass the call to one or tell them that lawyer is unavailable as soon as possible. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>2. Zero sense of responsibility. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
If you are a clerk / pupil / student, and even if you know about the file, ask yourself:-</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(a) If you misrepresent the lawyer in charge, and I act on that misrepresentation, who takes the fall? You or the lawyer?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(b) Whose client is it? Yours or the lawyer's?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
(c) Who will the client sue for misrepresentation and negligence? You or the lawyer?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>3. Zero common sense. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A person calls (A), and asks for Y. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X answers the call and insists on answering queries A specifically said were meant for Y.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
X realizes at the end of the day that X cannot answer A's queries and says X will ask another lawyer about it and get the lawyer to call me back.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
W-A-S-T-I-N-G-T-I-M-E.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-16659377570115352252016-01-27T14:16:00.001+08:002016-01-27T14:20:59.695+08:00NO.<div style="text-align: left;">
A very wise man once told me:</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"We work our best people to the point of inefficiency. That's human nature."</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I will say "NO" this year. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Not to my Master, but to people. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yes, I believe that we do all things as unto our Lord. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But I also believe that not everything is for the kingdom. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Joining every single committee in and outside church isn't necessarily for the kingdom. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Saying yes to every single task given to me in and outside church isn't necessarily for the kingdom. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Doing every single thing just because I think nobody else will isn't necessarily for the kingdom.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The kingdom's work is what I have been called to do. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And I will say "NO" this year so that I can find my focus and rediscover my calling. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I will say "NO" this year so that I can truly say "YES" to my Master.</div>
</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-62998440668934990382016-01-21T12:38:00.000+08:002016-01-21T12:38:18.155+08:00in a perfect world.<div style="text-align: justify;">
In a perfect world, Lily can sit in a quiet room and peacefully put together a draft index of a bundle of documents to be sent to Lily's opponent. Logically, this can be done within an hour at most.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In reality however, </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily finds out that she has to first draft an application supported by an affidavit by her client to compel certain third parties to produce a document in court before the said draft index can be finalized;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily then finds out that she has to first call the third party to find out whether the file is still in Melaka; </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily is then told that the file is thankfully still in Melaka, but the officer in charge of the file is out of town until next week;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily then begins drafting the affidavit and hopes that the client who has to sign the affidavit will be in Melaka and not Johor when it is done, because Lily will then have to waste time sending documents by courier;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily is then interrupted by a clerk who wants to look for a file that was closed 2 years ago; </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily goes into a separate room where there are 3 high stacks of files while the clerk goes into a smaller room with a smaller stack of files to look for the said file; </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily is then almost drowned by one of the stacks of files that comes crashing down when she tries to pull a file out of it; </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily is not surprised to find that the file isn't there;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily then has to create a separate stack of files for the files that have come crashing down; </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily then goes back to the smaller room and finds the file right there in the room and gives it to the clerk who had allegedly searched the room prior to Lily finding it;</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily then goes back to work, with a gazillion other things at the back of her mind because she's involved with so many other things not related to work, all of which are due this week as well; and</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
- Lily is then interrupted by a phone call.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At the moment, Lily thinks that she will react with utmost disdain to anyone who says that lawyers charge too much for their "simple" work and that a law degree is a "lightweight" degree. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>I feel better somehow, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Talking about myself like these things are happening to someone else and not me.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Wonder if that's why we can read and pray about persecution </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>but still live like there isn't any.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Wonder if we can draw that sort of parallel.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>I am so sick and tired of interruptions. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>I need that tin can Doraemon gave Nobita to work in when he wanted to be a comic artist!</i></div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-74090957281374943282015-08-21T17:53:00.002+08:002015-08-21T17:53:34.516+08:00disappointment.<div style="text-align: justify;">
I thought that the events of the past few days would have helped me be joyful no matter the circumstances. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But today I found myself utterly disappointed. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I know my expectations were too high and unreasonable. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But I'm still disappointed. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'd really believed with all my heart that that person would rise about pursuit of ambition. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
=(</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm still learning not to expect everything of everybody.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Lord of humility, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>meekness and majesty, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>teach me.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-74369250574719908122015-08-19T16:08:00.001+08:002015-11-12T13:08:08.978+08:00mighty to save!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Two months ago, I witnessed two people surrender their infant daughter and their grief to God. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
God chose not to save then.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But still they blessed their Lord and refused to mock Him. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Their testimony moved me greatly and made me see forgiveness in a new light. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I had never seen forgiveness displayed in that manner in people so close to me. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Two months later, I once again witnessed a life completely surrendered to God. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
When she finally understood God's will for her, it was okay even if it meant she couldn't what she wanted.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Even when she was told that she needed to remove one ovary and one fallopian tube, she chose to rejoice and bless His name. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This very day, God chose to save.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Five doctors who examined her at five different times had managed to commit an "error". It wasn't a cyst. It was a ruptured appendicitis.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My God is mighty to save!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Two incidents of total and complete surrender to the Lord, and He chose to work in different ways as it seemed best to Him. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
That just made me cry out as I drove back to the office, </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>"Father, I surrender, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>I surrender to You!"</i></div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-68105968624749072792015-08-05T17:42:00.002+08:002015-08-05T17:46:08.271+08:00What if His People Prayed<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"What if the armies of the Lord</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Picked up and dusted off their swords</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Vowed to set the captives free</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">And not let Satan have one more?"</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #3d85c6;">"What If His People Prayed"<i> </i>by Casting Crowns.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I consider it the great failure of the Church that we have not lost one, but two more. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The Church includes me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">"Somewhere between the hot and the cold</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between the new and the old</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between the wrong and the right</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between the darkness and the light</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Without losing all control?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Fearless warriors in a picket fence, </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Deep water faith in the shallow end</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">And we are caught in the middle</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">With eyes wide open to the differences - </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">The God we want and the God who is</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">But will we trade our dreams for His?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Or are we caught in the middle?</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between my heart and my hands</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between my faith and my plans</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between a whisper and a roar</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;">Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me."</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: purple;">"Somewhere in the Middle" by Casting Crowns</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We take these caught-in-the-middle feelings too lightly. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
We have underestimated the enemy.<br />
<br />
People don't fall in a day.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"</i><i>Lord, I feel you in this place</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And I know you're by my side</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Loving me even on these nights</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When I'm caught in the middle."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Father, help them pray this prayer,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
even on these nights, </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
when they're caught in the middle.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-23570190862661716982015-05-28T18:42:00.002+08:002015-05-28T18:42:47.324+08:00camps on working days.I get the jitters whenever church camp draws near.<br />
<br />
Never mind the three days of leave I have to take.<br />
<br />
The more terrifying thing is the busyness that builds up the few days before and after camp.<br />
<br />
<br />
<u><i>A few days before </i></u><br />
<br />
- Trying to finish every single piece of work that nobody will be able to do in my absence. E.g. submissions for a case I handled, legal opinions for files under my care, status updates to clients and non-clients for files under my care, call clients for data to complete affidavits / witness statements / pleadings. <i>(this means if I have until Tuesday to do it, I now only have until Saturday if I have internet to email it to someone and Friday if I have to finish it in the office)</i><br />
<br />
- Trying to finish writing instructions for work that other people may be able to complete for me in my absence. E.g. standard letters to clients, follow up with clients and non-clients on necessary but non-urgent matters.<br />
<br />
- Trying to finish telling everybody who might contact me in my absence that I will be away.<br />
<br />
- <b>This is the worst: </b>Trying to draft clear and unambiguous instructions for work that other people MUST complete for me in my absence. E.g. file the submissions / Bundle of Authorities that I stayed up all night doing, put together an affidavit complete with its exhibits and file, when to expect a document from court / client, what to do upon receiving it, who to courier it to, what address, who to call on Mon/Tues/Wed, when to forward calls to me, things to do so that when I'm back, I am able to do some other thing that is contingent on the first thing being done.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i><u>A few days after</u></i><br />
<i><u><br /></u></i>
- Trying to catch up with every single piece of work that landed itself on my table in my absence. E.g. incoming matters from clients / non-clients, start drafting replies to clients<br />
<br />
- Trying to repair every single mess that birthed itself in / because of my absence.<br />
<br />
- Trying to review every single piece of work that I instructed someone else to do to make sure nothing has been overlooked / done wrong.<br />
<br />
- Trying to immediately go back to completing that submissions / affidavit that is due on Friday because I've lost 4 days at camp, 3 of which were work days .<br />
<br />
<br />
All that, assuming that I don't catch a cold or fever after travelling.<br />
<br />
And even with that cold or fever, work still needs to be done if it was due <b>yesterday</b>.<br />
<br />
Oh well.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-19250417582793155012015-03-31T01:17:00.000+08:002015-03-31T01:17:04.006+08:00It's my birthday.<br />
<br />
I'm still up working for a trial i shouldn't have had to handle.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-68544519247104682412015-02-03T11:05:00.003+08:002015-02-03T11:05:46.663+08:00How to cope when people leave the church.<div style="text-align: justify;">
I've been alternating between conflicting feelings over the past two weeks. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At first I felt indifferent and slightly upset. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I began to get angrier and angrier.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then the anger subsided for awhile and I thought I should try to see how I could help this person.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I got angry again. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I blamed myself for what happened.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I got angrier, thinking that it was ridiculous to blame myself for what happened.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I began to think: What did I miss? How could I not see it? <i>I failed</i>.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I got angry again, this time because lashing out on the person might cause the person to backslide. I felt trapped, with no means to let these feelings run free.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Then I googled.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I actually googled this yesterday:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>"how to cope when people leave the church"</b></div>
<div>
<b><br /></b></div>
<div>
<a href="http://newsmallchurch.com/when-people-leave/">This</a> was the third article I read. And it really helped me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I googled because I am to meet this person on Thursday. I didn't want to go and ruin a genuine friendship and stumble somebody with my unreined anger. But I also secretly wanted to let go of this pain, by unleashing it on somebody else, because the burden of carrying it was beginning to crush me.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"It's hard to leave. It's hard being left."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
These opening words were enough. I felt like someone heard me, someone understood how I felt.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"Most who leave don't make that decision lightly. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">They deal with some serious pain when they finally make the decision to go.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">It's taken me a long time to hit 'publish' on today's post because, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">when I raise an issue, I like to provide solutions or alternatives. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">But I don't have a solution to this one. </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">So today's post is not about answers.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">It's a public recognition of our shared private pain.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">With the hope that we can find some sort of solace</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">by knowing that we're not alone in these feelings."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
And just like that... the anger melted away. The burden rolled away. The fog lifted. My eyes teared up.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
By the time I came to the end of the article, I was ready for that meeting on Thursday. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
No regrets, no anger, no fear, no pain. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
It also helped me understand what that person must have been going through in making this decision to leave. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The past few months have been tumultuous for our church. Not because anyone rocked the boat in a particularly destructive way, but because the "left behinds" of this church have endured one too many departures. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Having someone leave because of career options is one thing. Having someone leave because they couldn't fit in seems to send the message that our church did not do enough, that we did not endure, put in, suffer enough. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
In the midst of almost breaking down just trying to balance the weekly programmes with work and other commitments (not counting the special events), this felt very uncalled for. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>How much more can we do?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I could see that question in my elder's eyes as I spoke with him over breakfast on Saturday. It saddens me that someone so energetic and charismatic is now in danger of being cynical. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Yet, it gave me a strange comfort to know that though we were all seemingly drowning, we were all also silently acknowledging each other's burdens and struggles. But I also knew that we were all too burdened to shoulder another's burdens.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
This was the writer's reply to my comment on the website:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">"I am so honored that the Lord used this post, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">written from our common struggles, </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">to be a help to you to face this very difficult moment.</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I'll be praying for you as you approach this meeting on Thursday."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<div>
I can't pinpoint exactly why it was so comforting for me to read that article. But maybe that was it - I felt that someone who was going through the same thing, still had enough in him to shoulder this burden with me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Brothers and sisters, this is <i>fellowship </i>in its truest sense.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">"And let us consider </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">how we may spur one another on</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">toward love and good deeds..."</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #6aa84f;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Hebrews 10:24a</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div>
This <i>fellowship</i> is what this person will need in that new church. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It is my duty now in my final ministering to that person, to help establish that fellowship for that person, without which no Christian can possibly survive life in ministry.</div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>Thank You, Father, for this answer to prayer.</i></div>
</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-73273689993764966682015-01-07T17:41:00.003+08:002015-01-07T17:41:49.762+08:00shouting.i really can't stand it when people shout at me.<br />
ruins my whole day.<br />
aih.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-2910253753902959542015-01-05T16:03:00.000+08:002015-02-03T10:37:31.480+08:00How I feel after a two-hour meeting with client to prepare for trial:<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUGADZPi12-2GZi5uDp4vDK-AVkt_ynUKsjI10f4uSPoT6x26SqP3A3bS-Kp7CVguR4xdDMyVB9qjm2gouX5zogfGkq55PWuqqF_MgsS9-UScT8X2Ht6hNxscpITfH2nL4fun75T9Tihyv/s1600/Reichstag-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUGADZPi12-2GZi5uDp4vDK-AVkt_ynUKsjI10f4uSPoT6x26SqP3A3bS-Kp7CVguR4xdDMyVB9qjm2gouX5zogfGkq55PWuqqF_MgsS9-UScT8X2Ht6hNxscpITfH2nL4fun75T9Tihyv/s1600/Reichstag-2.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Picture taken from www.ottsworld.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-83256067046104691152015-01-02T11:41:00.001+08:002015-01-02T11:41:19.857+08:00of trust and irresponsibility.sometimes not doing something you should have done and pushing it to another person does not equal trust (i.e. "I trust that person so much") but irresponsibility.<br />
<br />
it's hard to tell the difference sometimes.<br />
<br />
but when it happens often enough, it is safe to call it irresponsibility.<br />
<br />
trust.<br />
<br />
i think we abuse that word too much and don't give it the respect it deserves.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-74153778770576216242014-11-14T12:08:00.001+08:002014-11-14T12:08:31.081+08:00trivial.<div style="text-align: center;">
we worry about what performance to put up for Christmas </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
while our brothers and sisters in Christ are being sold as slaves by the I.S.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-37756982061901856412014-10-31T18:26:00.000+08:002014-10-31T18:26:08.826+08:00On Christ, the Solid Rock I stand.<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Do not be conformed to this world, </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">that by testing</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">you may discern what is the will of God, </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">what is good</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">and acceptable</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">and perfect.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Romans 12:2</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
A friend of mine is getting married in 15 days. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
She posted an account of her journey with her fiance in their Facebook group today. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Reading it moved me to tears. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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All you people who write meaningful long posts, don't stop writing.</div>
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All you people who write Facebook statuses questioning contemporary beliefs and restating true faith in our Lord, don't stop writing. </div>
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You remind us that we don't belong here. You remind us that we don't have to conform, that we <b>can</b> be transformed. </div>
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No matter how <b>bad </b>things are here, <i>the best is yet to come</i>.</div>
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No matter how <b>great </b>things are here, <i>the best is yet to come.</i></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">There are many ways to tell a story. How you tell it shows what's inside you. </span></div>
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I was encouraged to see inside Marianne today. </div>
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Reminded me to re-examine my marriage every day, to make sure it's founded on solid ground - my Lord Jesus Himself. </div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">My hope is built on nothing less</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">I dare not trust the sweetest frame</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">But wholly lean on Jesus' name. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">On Christ the Solid Rock I stand; </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">All other ground is sinking sand, </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="color: #3d85c6;">All other ground is sinking sand.</span></i></div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-41402318061913513142014-07-13T22:22:00.000+08:002014-07-13T22:22:19.830+08:00I QUIT.Keep this up and I really will quit.<br />
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The only person around here who isn't working hard is the only person who should be working his butt off.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-10395887292577039632014-06-15T17:31:00.001+08:002014-06-15T17:31:13.316+08:00siao control.<div style="text-align: justify;">
when you're downstairs trying to finish drafting a difficult piece of submissions to be filed tomorrow and your grandmother is banging on the door and screaming like someone just abused her.</div>
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like uncle stefan said, this is not about self-control, this is about siao-control.</div>
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seriously, people. </div>
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play more sudoku and word search now. it might save quite a number of people from going crazy (including yourself) when you're older.</div>
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in my room right now which looks completely yellow (i hate yellow) because it faces the afternoon and evening sun and has yellow curtains. </div>
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siao control.</div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-82850365731637861782014-06-12T21:19:00.006+08:002014-06-12T21:19:58.889+08:00facilitate justice, not impede it.<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 18px;">The Rules of the Supreme Court are intended to facilitate, not impede, the administration of civil justice. In the bad old days in England from where we took our Rules, if you put a comma wrong you were thrown out of court, so strict were they about technicalities. But over the years this strictness gave way to common sense, and every time the Rules were amended it was with the object of removing fussy technicalities, and making it easier for parties to get justice.</span>"</i></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-- Federal Court, <span class="italic" style="background-color: white; font-style: italic; line-height: 18px;">Tan Chwee Geok & Anor v Khaw Yen-Yen & Anor</span><a class="null" href="http://ezproxy.um.edu.my:2068/my/legal/search/runRemoteLink.do?A=0.14511301442457625&bct=A&service=citation&risb=21_T20055081637&langcountry=MY&linkInfo=F%23MY%23MLJ%23vol%252%25sel1%251975%25page%25188%25year%251975%25sel2%252%25" style="background-color: white; color: #8f2b8c; line-height: 18px; text-decoration: none;" target="_parent"> [1975] 2 MLJ 188</a></span><br />
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I like this part of the judgment. Sounds like the judge is talking to its reader. Hehe.hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1284272921893647666.post-8118714416555272722014-05-30T13:17:00.002+08:002014-05-30T13:19:00.659+08:00facebook.<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sometimes I get depressed scrolling through my news feed on Facebook.</div>
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I'm not against having fun. </div>
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It's just...</div>
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People elsewhere are getting hanged right after they become a mum just because they're Christians or having their churches bombed or struggling to make ends meet because they chose a life of mission...</div>
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...and we, on the other hand...</div>
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What are we doing with our lives?</div>
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I would think that if we didn't have the willpower and strength to endure what they endure, we could at least live a life worthy of our calling.</div>
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The second-years in USM's CF (PKA) did a parody of Frozen's "Let It Go" for their graduating seniors, quoting several portions from the book of Hebrews in the process: </div>
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<center>
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Rb3S_359nTU" width="420"></iframe></center>
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Very funny, but also very moving. </div>
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The words that stuck with me were:</div>
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<i>"On you go, on you go, </i></div>
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<i>Being Christ's ambassadors</i></div>
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<i>Touching lives, showing Christ</i></div>
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<i>Reconciling the world back to Him</i></div>
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<i>This is your calling</i></div>
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<i>Let the years roll on</i></div>
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<i>We'll all meet in heaven anyway."</i></div>
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The posts I see on Facebook now are the same as if a lawyer were to post his/her views on certain national issues and either get the law all wrong (outdated, overruled or simply non-existent law), wrongly apply the law, state opinions that even a layman can come up with, or worse - opinions that a layman WOULDN'T say simply because it was so unintelligent.</div>
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Or an English teacher posting an article which has typs, bad splling, inaccurates grammar or terrible 'Punctuation". (see how it makes you squirm?)</div>
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"Nobody's perfect". </div>
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Fine. I agree. I'm not perfect either.</div>
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But we could all do ourselves and others a favour by asking ourselves this question before posting anything on Facebook: </div>
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<b><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-size: large;">Does it reflect my calling?</span></b></div>
hweihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00997363279858942348noreply@blogger.com0