3rd item off the list.

the depressing thing about the checklist was actually the one on top.

datin.

criminal law tutorial.

black fridays? pish-posh. i have dark wednesdays and charcoal thursdays.

datin didn't yell today. she didn't sneer. didn't mock. didn't chase anybody out of the class.

but i left the room feeling some notches below nothing. some notches below nothing means you feel nothing first, then you go lower and lower and lower to some feeling you can't describe. it's like the invisible keys on the piano that people can't describe.

on my charcoal thursdays i wander the faculty and somehow end up in the cafe, where i get myself whatever's hot on my makan list (at the moment it is bihun goreng) and stare into space because i have nothing better to do since i forgot my journal.

ah. still.

aside from the episode in tiara of ah will's valiant efforts in separating a cockroach from its internal juices, reading just a few lines of my journal has helped. because feelings change. and it is a great misfortune that our perception of things change with our feelings.

i was happy back then. why are things different now?

such things.

that ms gill would term melodramatic. ceh! =P

and back then can mean two days ago, or two hours ago, or two weeks. how often feelings change!

just finished preparing my land law presentation for tomorrow. i'm tired. both from the lack of sleep and the lack of... purpose? ah. yet another invisible key on the piano.

or maybe it's just 2.24am, that's why.

*potong stim*

in times like these...

i rest my head on the shoulder of Your promises.

Look at the birds of the air;

they do not sow or reap or store away in barns,

and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are you not much more valuable than they?

Matthew 6:26