Sunday, 29 April 2007

DMSJ Is Over

Yup. And we got into the Top 3 list. Yeah!

I'm trying too hard to be like Ah Zheng. That is so not what I would say.

I would say something like: ...

And then I would ask how the participants are taking it, what's going on over there in Johor (I couldn't go because I had my MUET exam on the day of the quiz), how much the difference in score was, and other such things.

Today Auntie Tina and Auntie Jennifer were expressing their views about this latest major thing in our church. They obviously didn't have much faith in MGC's standing in the quiz. Or maybe they were just expressing such indifference because they were trying to cover up their disappointment that is of course actually due to the fact that they actually hoped we could get more than the last placing in the quiz. I mean, that's what I do anyway.

Auntie Tina had never witnessed the days when we still had the fight in us (she wasn't around for the first few quizzes). So I suppose her lack of faith is quite justified. But Auntie Jennifer has been around for quite some time. Except she didn't exactly turn up for all the quizzes la. So her lack of faith is probably due to the fact that she usually watched from the sidelines while we struggled up there. News of our defeat or victory was just news to her, I guess. Even if she was there, like the time we won in our hometown, I think it was just a quiz victory to her. I'm thinking something crazy right now, which is that this kind of represents what goes on in the Christian world, if such a term may be used. We never quite work hard as labourers in the harvest field until we experience God for ourselves. Not just through hearing about Him in sermons or remembering the many bad things happening in the world and in our own lives. Those who've witnessed for themselves and who've supported us with their whole heart and soul every second of the quiz would continue to hope in the strength of the team, no matter how many times the team loses. They shout for joy and groan with the team throughout the quiz and when defeat is in sight, they sigh with the team, but go down fighting with the team. They whoop sincerely when victory is in sight. Every moment of suspense is passed with pounding hearts. But to those who are only there to watch, more is said than felt whether the team wins or loses.

Long-winded, I know. This is my superb strategy to get whatever few readers I have to shy away from my blog. Muahaha. And I'm hoping most of you have already moved on to another blog or website and are not reading this part right now cuz it would mean 2 things: that my efforts have failed, and that you now know my strategy. Oh bah!

Alright, now that the number of readers has been reduced quite significantly (I hope), I can actually get down to the main dish for today.

I spent most of the week feeling irritated and trying not to feel irritated.

  1. I was very irritated while preparing questions for the quiz.
  2. I was and am very irritated with the fact that although fewer people are reading my blog right now, I know that I still can't blog everything about the quiz here.
  3. I was irritated when people assumed that I am a totally free person with nothing to do and with nothing much to study cuz I get better grades.
  4. I was totally irritated with the tap and shower in my room which would suddenly reduce significantly their capacity to provide me with the water I need to bathe and brush my teeth.
  5. I was irritated because I knew that there are people who go through more than all that with joyful hearts and thankful souls.
  6. I am so irritated by the fact that I got irritated.
  7. I am irritated because this list seems to be a round thing that doesn't end. Bah!
God is probably irritated with my irritating rumblings. After this entry, I never want to see a word with "irritate" as its root ever again.

I am seriously odd. Not as in a serious person and odd at the same time, but as in very odd.

Well, anyway, since most of the youth went down to Johor yesterday for the quiz, the remnants of the youth (and 2 young adults muahaha), namely me, Yik How, Adrian, Ah Zheng and Mel helped out in the Children's Hour. Ah Zheng came back just in time to be chosen =P as the songleader for the day. Adrian did the game; I played the piano; Yik How, Mel and I took the Mandarin class. Do I hear "Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"s? Nah, I probably hear "harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"s more. Well, your response is well justified and well received! After yesterday, the little me in my brain is probably thinking that Mel's Mandarin is better than mine. I sincerely thank God for moving Yik How and Mel to help me yesterday. I'm ok with teaching a crowd of children, but I am so not ok with teaching one-on-one or one-on-two (?). It's like Dad also. He speaks super nicely and eloquently in English, but when he speaks in Mandarin it's just so weird and like sebiji-sebiji wan (although he's now preaching in Mandarin). I mean, not really berketul-ketul like mine la, but not as nice lor. Recently, my classmates have been asking me about God, Christianity, and the Bible. I do pretty well explaining everything to my friends who can speak English sufficiently well, but I have serious trouble talking about Christ to my Chinese-ed friends. It's like haiyoh... there's this guy who asked me to bring a form for him to fill so that he could become a Christian. I told him that that ain't how it works, and tried to tell him the Gospel (what better chance than that huh) but my Mandarin was just too koyak for that. I mean, my basics are ok la. But stuff like salvation, repent, sin, accept, Saviour, eternal life... they require more than just reading Chinese Class textbooks! If God's trying to tell me I'm going to be involved in some way or other in the Chinese ministry, I think He's thrown enough hints man. I hear You loud and clear, Father~

I was feeling so tired after staying up doing the quiz questions and taking my MUET exam with a dizzy head that I went for the Children's Hour with an equally dong-dong head (Shaun had even helped me set the questions twice cuz I was simply too tired). After the mandarin class thing, I felt even more down cuz I felt I hadn't done my part well. Nicole (the little girl I was teaching - Yik How helped me teach Chai Ho) wasn't responding very well. She kept shaking her head and saying she didn't know anything after I'd explained the story of Jonah to her with all my might and strength (and with the aid of pictures! Not I draw wan la of course. She lagi tak faham). She seemed to respond more enthusiastically to Mel (who is, by the way, an Eurasian). I felt so totally helpless and useless. Sigh. The reason I felt even worse was probably because I hadn't thought that I would do that badly. I had too much confidence (actually not much, but it's relatively much). Yes, God, thanks for the lesson ~

But after that, Ah Zheng messaged me and said that he'd really enjoyed the whole thing yesterday cuz it cheered him up after spending most of his days studying and home-aloning at home. Yeah, that odd term has his copyright footnote stamped on it. That really encouraged me (the message, not the odd term). I think Adrian and Mel enjoyed themselves too. Auntie Yu Ming definitely did. She's been so bogged down by the weight of this ministry. I'm sure it gave her great encouragement to see that there are people who actually care about this ministry too. Yik How finally has a reason to come to church and not play those ball games in school on Saturdays. After his message, I saw that the reasons for me to be happy should far outweigh the reasons for me to be down. Auntie Kiat Tin's been saying that Ah Zheng's stressed out with his course, but I've never been able to do anything about it (cuz he wouldn't talk much about it except some touch and go stuff tsk) but yesterday I felt like I helped him a little bit. And having so few people in church made it much easier for me to talk with the remnants of the youth. So I guess it really was worth it.

Oh ya, I went out with the class for Pey Yein's (monitor) birthday on Thursday. I went to Amigo and The Wings Cafe for the first time! (I was like the only one dot dot dot) Wan Ting and I had to sit with the guys at the far end of the 4 tables joined together cuz we were late. Wan Ting had to go to the doctor's, and I was too buta jalan to get to Amigo myself. I was actually in Melaka Raya before that and even saw the sign leading to Amigo cuz I went to Adrian and Ah Zheng's houses first but couldn't go to Amigo myself cuz well, I decided I'd save a little more getting-lost petrol that day. Eating with the guys was fun. As usual, Aaron was playing the gossip-bug with his latest news and updates on the "troubles" in class (to give him a little more credit, Wan Ting asked him first la). I've noticed for quite some time that Aaron and some of the other girls make crude remarks about Doreen whenever anything that has to do about her is brought up. And it's also quite noticeable that they bring up something about her even when she's not there, as if on purpose, for the aim of gossiping about her. When Aaron denied disliking Doreen, I remarked that he talks bad about her a lot. He denied that too, but moved on to talking about his quarrels with her. And he ended with the statement: "Actually our class no problems wan. Seems like got problems but actually don't have."

I fail to understand how a long speech about why he doesn’t want to have anything to do with Doreen supports that last statement. Hmm.

As usual, Ming Suan passed a remark about how the class wouldn't have any problems with him around, and Derrick threw some friendly insults at him, Wai Kee laughed his head off (like tikus, seriously), Kian Tiong laughed that kuai chai laugh, and Aaron just "hehehehehehe"-ed. Benny was of course at the other end of the table with his dear Jennifer, and Han Sern was somewhere being quiet. The guys taught me how to cut my chicken chop (-_-) and had a firsthand experience of my disgusting play-with-my-food habit.

Eating with the girls... well, it's not like they aren't fun too or that I dislike them or anything. But they tend to gossip a lot about Doreen when they're together. And whenever something is said in her defense, they just dismiss it and change the topic. Next thing you know, they're at it again in another outing. I'm not saying the guys are free from all this gossip and bad thoughts stuff, but at least when they come together, and if they're asked, they tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Ok, perhaps it ain't quite that much truth, but at least they speak their mind and listen when we tell them to think of the case in another light. Like Aaron was telling us he understood why Doreen was so childish (-_-) = it was cuz she's a single child and she has no freedom to do much of anything, just like him when he was younger. So Wan Ting and I told him that if he really understood how she felt, he was the best person to begin treating her nice. He protested at first, but after that he kept a little quieter and thought about it. Don't think he'll start treating her nice, though, but at least he didn't do that whole smile-and-agree-politely-but-actually-don't-agree-wan thing. And it's really odd to say this, but the guys have more depth than the girls. The girls don't seem to want to get below surface talk and I always get the feeling that they're avoiding certain things. When someone manages to get below their psychology iceberg, they start feeling uncomfortable. The only time they talk about their feelings is when they're really ranting about it. That's when I can gauge the real cause beneath that behavioural part of their iceberg.

Maybe I'm being paranoid again la. But... sigh. So far only Shih Chui has talked to me about deeper things than just school. At least she really expresses what she feels about things. But then again, she's always been a blunt person.

Or maybe it's just me being so unapproachable. I've heard them rant a lot to some of the girls, but they've never ranted to me or Yee Ying. And when I see Yee Ying, I know why they don't rant to her. Maybe when they see me, that's what they feel too. Gotta lose the English-ed aura!

Shaun's back. I'm gonna go act like a reporter and bombard him with questions.

Congrats again to those who made it this far.

Friday, 6 April 2007

A Little More Updates

I didn't go plop on my bed after all. I felt I should update a little more after deserting this blog for so long.

Anyway, life in U6A3 is improving much much.

The PA quiz last week was ok la. I mean, we didn't get into the finals (cuz of our super cacat-ed Bahagian C), but Shiek Ching, Ming Suan, and I are closer already. Formerly, Shiek Ching would just nod and chuckle politely whenever I talked to her, and I really felt like there was a barrier between us that I couldn't quite break through. And I couldn't get to know her more on the class trip to EOM cuz I hung out with Sin Yee, Siew Huay, Ming Zhu, Shih Chui, Ying Chiah, Mei Ting, and Mei Fong - a totally different group (Shiek Ching usually hangs out with the more outspoken girls). Ming Suan lei, well, Ming Suan was just one of the noisy boys at the back (a row behind me only actually) who teased the rest of the girls except me and Yee Ying (another English-ed) and occasionally said "hi" in an odd, and super (sometimes like over already) polite way in the morning and at the end of the day.

Now Shiek Ching and I cari each other when we have problems in math and econs, and she's so much more energetic and open when we talk. As for Ming Suan, our friendship has now proceeded to another level; specifically, the one where he raps my table, *dush-dush*-es my bag at the end of the day and says more than "hi" to me (and more frequently than just in the morning and at the end of the day).

My desk is located at a totally strategic place in class, which is, directly under the fan. My place is never hot, even when every other place is causing its "inhabitants" to drip with sweat. Hence, the girls, and some of the guys (most would be sleeping... that's one thing that hasn't changed) would kumpul at my place to read the papers and to poke fun at each other (U6A3 is famous for poking fun at each other and other people).

I think I came on too strong while arguing about evolution and creationism with Aaron today though. Partly due to the fact that I was walking quickly to the CF meeting place (super far from my class) and he was talking super fast too. No la, don't blame other things. I get super excited when I talk about certain things, and sometimes I just suffocate people with my opinions. I'd really have to apologize to him on Monday!

Chen Li, Ju, and Jie came back last week!
It's been a long time since I saw Chen Li and Ju (I think~ 2 days is long to me so I guess the word 'long' is kinda relative). Nice to have them back! Didn't really get to talk to Ju though. I feel so bad every Saturday and Sunday. It's like I neglect almost everyone in church cuz I either have to do other stuff or go back early (Sat). I wonder how Geng Yi could go about his duties in church (a lot, lemme tell you) and still talk to every one in church. Jie came back for her laptop. Although she told me to say that she came back for my birthday. =_= Or was it the other way round? Hmm.

Lin messaged and said she was stressed out with so much assignments and exams and presentations. She has to do American Culture Study and C++ and other such odd stuff. I'm so proud of how strong she's being, all alone in KL and all. If it weren't for what Sin Yee and Shih Chui said about a similiar situation, I guess I'd still be opposing her for going for the JPA scholarship. There was a point of time when Wan Ting was always absent for class, and she skipped Business to do a Physics practical elsewhere. She had permission la, but the teacher dissed her anyway (behind her back). Shih Chui was totally against Wan Ting's actions, but Sin Yee (always the more benevolent one) said that she felt we should support Wan Ting in her time of need (she was and still is very stressed out - taking 5 subjects inc Physics). Shih Chui said I should advise her and lecture her about what she was doing and how much she was sacrificing for her ambition to be an architect. She then said that because she'd registered for her STPM papers, it was impossible to tell her to turn back now. But I had to advise her against improperly delegating her time. The second sentence not so important la. But the first one struck me lor. I'd been against Lin's decision for so long that she probably felt that she couldn't tell me anything about her problems in UiTM. So I took Shih Chui's advice, and now I feel so much better supporting Lin in her daily struggles. I find myself asking myself how I could have been so cruel so as to abandon her in her time of need in the first place.

Had fever yesterday. At first it was just nausea, so I went for PA tuition anyway. But then the air-con in the room made my mild fever worse, and so I drove home in a feverish state. I took a panadol and studied econs till 12.06 am then went to sleep. Woke up this morning with almost-panda-ic eyes and a nose with one side stuck and a hurting knee (yes, I have knee problems; runs in the family). Oh ya, I've been having these little red spots on the lower part of my arms recently, and when I told mum about them and my fever, she said with a totally straight face: "Dengue lor"


"Then must go see doctor!"
"No need la."


I went to school and told my friends. Sinn Ting came over with "Tse Hwei! Ni you dengue ar?" cuz I messaged her about it yesterday. They told me mum was kidding. Ceh.

Dunno wanna kena how many times =_+ The last time was "TB lor" when I coughed for one month. And the one before that was "Oooo got tumour" when I had headaches.

Mum has a really neat sense of humour.

Ooook. Thanks for listening. Congratulations to all who made it to this last sentence without skipping the middle part.

Now I shall officially plop on the sofa and drift off to sleep (probably without brushing my teeth... do I hear some *ewwwwwww*s?)


I Can't Find Robin Hood

I went to look for Robin Hood today.

Wonder how many bookstores I have to go to before I find it. Sigh.

On the bright side, I saw a book by John Grisham (I was going to borrow his books in the MGSS library after Jeffrey Archer's but tak sempat T_T) entitled, "The Street Lawyer". It's about Michael Brock, a high-priced antitrust lawyer at the fictional law firm of Drake & Sweeney. One day, a homeless man holds dunno how many lawyers hostage in the firm and bloodshed ensues. This incident changes his life and mindset, and he begins to reevaluate his priorities as a lawyer and in life. He takes to the streets and gets acquainted with life on the streets. He now takes on the task of upholding justice for the homeless, even if it means going against his old firm. A lot of his former colleagues and friends get angry with him la, and then got a lot of conflict lor.

John Grisham writes a lot about mysteries and suspense thrillers involving the legal system. Jeffrey Archer tends towards the political side. I like both!!!! But somehow I can't bring myself to buy the books I liked in Popular and MPH. I keep thinking that those kind of books are more worth borrowing than buying.

Even Enid Blyton's Children Stories T_T

Had fun moonwalking and matrix-ing with Doreen in MP today though.

Now I'm gonna plop onto the bed and sleep my mild fever away.