...and to just be really blunt with what I think and feel.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and having non-Christians as roommates means that I mostly have to do all that thinking by myself. So here's me thinking aloud.
Note: I'm gonna just talk like you people aren't here (and like you know what I'm talking about).
These are times when I feel like using the phrase, "You earn respect". I don't understand how people can go around expecting to be respected just like that, just because they are in a certain position. Yeah, you get respect alright. Positional respect. Meaning I respect you because of your position. But to go as far as to respect you for who you are - your character, personality, principles, integrity, infallibility? Neh. You earn respect for those things. Earning means you work and labour for it. Respect is something I take very seriously, because I had some experiences when I was much younger, that taught me - albeit the really hard way - that people don't just hand respect over to you.
I don't like to fight, argue, quarrel - whatever people these days call it. I prefer to have everything done in a peaceful manner. Everyone's happy with everyone, compromise here and there. Better yet - don't compromise. Better to have everyone tetiba and somehow happy with the other naturally without having to alter any part of their principles.
Fairytales. How we love 'em.
There's one thing that brings down the little protective, contented fence in me, though. Or maybe two:
#1 When people are being plain ridiculous. I either laugh at them or raise an eyebrow at them. Then I say something.
#2 When people are putting down somebody else. Usually someone I really care about. (if i don't care about you then too bad la. yeah, that's how i am. you're not shaking your head cuz that's prolly how you are too. yay.)
But bah, cuz I wasn't around when all those ridiculous things were happening back home.
I went for youth on Saturday, and came home wondering when the ISA got into the church. A Christian ISA, that is.
Elders are priests, just like every one of us. They're in the leadership position to oversee the sheep, but they themselves are sheep. Just maybe extra wool or somethin'. Jesus Christ is the Shepherd. How many times have we gotten that wrong? The elders are not some mega Hitler person we need to tiptoe around. Yeah, respect the elders. But has anyone ever stopped to consider that the elders spoken about in Paul's letters were worthy of their calling?
Thought simplified: What do you do when you don't think your leaders fit the requirements in 1 Timothy?
I confess that I'd never really really read 1 Timothy. So when things like the position of a deacon being portrayed as substandard to an eldership position happened, I was given the impression that deacons are like 2nd-in-command, probably to do more of technical stuff.
But there I was one day, reading 1 Timothy 3:1-13:
Here is a trustworthy saying:
If anyone sets his heart on being an overseer, he desires a noble task.
Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife,
temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle,
not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
He must manage his own family well
and see that his children obey him with proper respect.
(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family,
how can he take care of God's church?)
He must not be a recent convert,
or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil.
He must also have a good reputation with outsiders,
so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap.
Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect,
*author: you are worthy of respect, then you become a deacon. not the other way round.*
sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain.
They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience.
They must first be tested;
and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons.
In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect,
not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
A deacon must be the husband of but one wife
and must manage his children and his household well.
Deacons are in every way equal to elders.
Every way meaning position, character, blamelessness, lifestyle, and duty.
Thought simplified: Is it okay step down as an elder and take up deaconship instead?
Isn't this sending the message that "it's ok if you can't make it as an elder, still got a little bit qualified to be a deacon"?
When I asked Mum about it, she said: "If you study the requirements, you'll find that those are the qualifications of all Christians."
It didn't solve the peculiarities in church, but that helped. It took my focus off other people and onto myself.
Thought simplified: Am I qualified?
(and perhaps strange things have happened because i'm not the only one who has been brisking through 1 timothy 3)
But then somemore things bug me.
How is it that you can create a policy out of thin air, impose it on other people, and then break it yourself a month later?
And nobody will stand up to them (or maybe, just him), that's for sure.
Somehow, people stand up to innocent, honest people who are actually sitting down, so that they tower over them, but let jerks get away with bigger things.
Back to that issue of a Christian ISA - it's time for us to speak up.
Speaking up is often associated with "
lawan tauke" in our society.
You say something against the majority, you're being
lawan tauke.
You raise your hand to speak after sessions when people don't normally say anything extra, and you're a problem kid. (not referring to youth meeting)
You look your leaders in the eye and tell them what you think (which is normally contrary to what they just said), and you're susceptible to being black-listed.
You raise a question about why you have to do something out of the norm for a youth camp, and suddenly you're the one who's supposed to explain why you don't want to be imposed with something out of the norm. (we should be asking you why you wanna do something out of the norm. isn't that the natural thing to do? LOL.)
Ridiculous, ain't it?
We make so much noise about how the ISA in the country is yucky and mucky and stuff, but in our own haven, where everyone is equal in the eyes of the Shepherd, we act like we're under some Freedom of Speech Act.
Sensitive issue?
Didn't we scoff at our beloved Prime Minister when he said that?
Should we not scoff at ourselves now?
All the more, me thinks, because we condemned someone for it, and did it ourselves moments later.
Oh ya. Another thing.
A wants to have a word with B. But somehow A doesn't want to be the one to call (as ridiculous as that sounds). So A wants B to call A. But then even more ridiculously - A tells C to tell B to call A. The laugh is at the part where C is not even related to A, like living under the same roof or something.
If I asked Shaun to call Chen Li for me, at least Shaun can pass the phone to me when he gets the fella right?
What's the point of asking, say, Jessica to call Chen Li for me? Then Chen Li will have to call me after that right?
Worse - I want to tell Chen Li something, but I ask Jessica to call Chen Li and tell Chen Li to call me so I can tell it to her.
And it's even more hilarious if Chen Li obeys and has been trying to call me a few times, and even sms-ed me, but then I don't pick up, and don't reply, and then I call Jessica again and tell her to call Chen Li again to call me.
You'll be amazed how some people can actually do that.
And no, it's not Jessica, Shaun, Chen Li, or me doing this redundant triangular exercise.
Ah well.
I was practicing for debate once. I thought of a point the opposition might raise, and asked my debate teacher what the answer should be to a question they might raise. He shrugged and said something I'd never forget.
Lesson learned: When you simply can't figure out an answer to peculiar happenings, just say:
"Well, there are a lot of crazy people in the world."
