i'm a musical person, right?

"Doe, a deer I shot last year,
Ray, the guy who pumps my gas..."

- Jeff Foxworthy, Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?


Yup. So is he.

Anyway.

In the midst of recovering from two ulcers - the second of which resulted from chomping on my lip while having a 4.15pm lunch in the car on the highway - and spilling my brain over two assignments and a thesis (aih), and fighting the urge not to retype the Christmas script, I find myself waking up every morning telling myself to forgive.

It's hard. It's hard to forgive.

But it's harder to pray a prayer that begins like this:

"Father, it's so hard to forgive them. I try everyday, but I can't. How can they do this to me? How can anyone do this to anyone?"

And ends like this:

"Did I ever do such a thing to anybody? Please forgive me if I have."

I realized the hypocrisy and double standard a Friday ago. 

So this is what Jesus meant:

"Forgive us our debts, 

as we also have forgiven our debtors."

and 

"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, 

your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  

But if you do not forgive others their sins, 

your Father will not forgive your sins."

Matthew 6: 12, 14-15

It's not that God won't forgive. It's just that you will never feel forgiven.

"You know you can help people.

But Daisy's not people.

She's the person you love, 

the person you have to trust."

- Cam, Bones

Life would be so much simpler if I didn't have emotional attachments.

But I guess if that were so, I won't be able to play the piano.

So.

Give me the leash, Emotions.

I'll do the dragging now.