I can't even get angry properly anymore...

I was so angry today... Too hungry to write about it now, though.

Anyway, my post 2 days ago was deleted because of the computer glitch. Again. Haiz.

Today's anger is not caused by that ok. Why would I get angry over such a silly thing tsk.

Zheng's birthday yesterday. Hmm. He was quite free yesterday cuz he hadn't any class. Was supposed to be his practical day yesterday, but it just so happens that there's not to be any practical on the first week. So he was totally free. I was chatting with him via MSN la. So I asked him what he was doing, being free and birthday-ic and all. He said: "I'm studying in the library heheh" I went, "Ohhh ok." Wait. If he was studying in the library, AND chatting with me at the same time, logically, there were only 2 possibilities:

1. He was slacking off
   
2. I was disturbing him
   

Good thing it was the first one ^^;

Made me wonder, though. What would it feel like to be so far away from home on my birthday? I'm so used to mum and dad and shaun dropping "subtle" hints about my birthday i.e. Who's birthday today ar?

What would my first year at uni be like? Will I be able to come back to celebrate my birthday properly? Or would I get all these birthday wishes via sms? In my mind, Zheng has been experiencing all that since he left for Singapore 4 years (?) ago. I think it's a sad thing. I think la. Maybe he's used to it already.

Then again, isn't it an awful thing to be used to not being with family on your birthday?

Or maybe it's just me and my family. We're too close already. Hmm. IS there such a thing as a family being too close? The word "too" is often used to imply excessiveness and exaggeration, isn't it? But it's a good thing for a family to be close right?

Here I go again. Rumbling along sentences and questions that many would frown in confusion at when they read them.

Thinking about Zheng's life (though he may feel it's perfectly fine) has made me glad that I didn't apply for the Singapore scholarship when my friends and teachers were forcing me to. Like Derk said (it annoyed me then), i mightn't have gotten it anyway. Hmmph. Good la. I'd have to come back to Malaysia and then study in Malaysia anyway. Same thing also. Just more suffering involved only.

Apologies to all Singapore scholarship holders out there. But this is really what I think and feel. And this IS my blog, isn't it? If any of you are reading this and feel utterly offended, I beg you to message me personally and tell me so. I wouldn't attempt to argue with you. And that's a very rare thing!

Anyway... I know Zheng will probably never read this cuz he has trouble just opening an e-card link, but maybe God will show this to him in heaven someday. then maybe he'll terharu and give me some of his heavenly treasures =P So...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ZHENG!!!