Grasshopping

desmond and cheng sze - my transport peeps

Firstly, I discovered that I was not hallucinating when I saw my Contract tutor in PJGH yesterday during the wedding. Desmond introduced me to a deacon named Uncle Chew Phye Keat. And he was like, "Oh, you're doing Law in UM? You know Choong Shaw Mei?" "Yeah. She attends PJGH?" "She's my wife. Hehehe."

Lol.

Then he brought me to meet her, and she went, "Hi!! How did you come? Did Desmond introduce you to anyone?" "Not yet." So she brought me around to the makan place (yeah!), and in the midst of eating that delicious-looking and really delicious kuih with Cheng Sze, I noticed some youths who looked like they were too old to be youths, but who were likely to label themselves youths anyway, looking over at us. They came up to us not long after, and started that process of making us feel welcome, which was obviously not a very comfortable thing for them to do. 10 points for effort!

Let me list down the names of the people I met so I won't forget in case I lose that piece of paper I'm going to write their names on in a few minutes:

• o David - currently studying Business in the USA, but back for the holidays. 22.
• o Shanny (nickname) - Economics, UPM. 22.
• o Ei Leen - Pharmacy. 23.
• o Caleb - no details yet
  
• o Juen - A-levels. Met her during her RBS mission trip to MGC. =)
• o Keith Wong - working guy. According to the bulletin, he's supposed to be in charge of coffee duty. Ah haha.
  
• o Desmond - Engineer. From Ipoh.
  
• o Cheng Sze - Former chemist, now doing Marketing. Cheras. 28.
  
• o Pei Win - Desmond's housemate. Fetched me to PJGH the first time I went.
  
• o Uncle Chew Phye Keat - deacon
• o Ms (that's what we're told to call her in tutorial anyway) Choong Shaw Mei - part-time Contract tutor in UM!
  

A lady named Suet May Liew, if I'm not mistaken, shared from Psalm 23.

Shall put all that rigorous name-memorizing training during orientation to good use.

Yeah, and I'm shamelessly blogging about them like they'll never read my blog (maybe they won't). Heh.

It's a funny thing. (how many times have I said that?)

I was feeling quite lost and alone again during the service. It feels weird to watch women stand up to share and pray. And to see women with those stylish caps on their heads instead of the traditional veil. (of which I am still an avid fan) It was a Family Led Worship today, held once a month. Uncle (yes, I shall attempt to make everyone a friendly acquaintance instead of the rather formal "mr" and "mrs") Leslie Lim was the worship leader.

Truth be told, on Saturday night, I was prepared to blog something along these lines after I return from service today:

***

The song In Christ Alone struck me yesterday during the wedding:

In Christ alone will I glory
For only by His grace
I am redeemed
And only His tender mercy
Could reach beyond my weakness
To my need
Now I seek no greater honor
Than just to know Him more
And to count my gains but losses
And to the glory of my Lord

I asked myself why I was church-hopping. What was I looking for? Friends? A ministry? A chance to serve? A sense of homeliness? A feeling of being welcome? A church with better sermons? An assembly that suits my needs and beliefs?

I confessed that the reason why I was even considering church-hopping was because I didn't feel welcome in PJGH the first time I went. Frankly, it would be so easy to follow sis to Kajang GC every week. Or even to Klang. It would definitely be so easy to attend Shah Alam GC, where I know almost all my peers, and where surely, a ministry awaits me there. Transport or distance was never a problem. I'm a road blind person oblivious to time and space. What would I know about distance?

It was then that the Lord spoke to me. So gently. So gently and so wisely that I knew it wasn't me. And I really couldn't sing very well after that.

So PJGH's women are not silent in church. So what?

Everything seems quite orchestrated and formal sometimes. So what?
Most of the churches here will be at least 5 MGCs. So what?
So I have to walk up to people myself even though I'm a newcomer. So what?

I am here because God sent me to UM. My mission remains the same, no matter where I may be.

I am to know Him more.

I am to glorify His Name.

A quote I read in Pei Ling's blog knocked itself against my head:

No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after 5 minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness. They have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it: and Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means - the only complete realist.

-C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, bk 3, ch. 11-

The temptation is so strong to just leave the PJ churches and run to a safer church. Maybe hop around, give the churches a slim chance, then hop into SAGC (just an example). Live happily ever after.

I was never very sociable anyway. Any church I go to would yield the same outcome.

To go where the Lord leads. Such an easy phrase to pen, so difficult to follow.

I have to be strong. I will not take the easy way out.

If I lay aside these churches, it will be for a good solid reason.

This is a little out of context, but...

Help me be good, Lord.

***

Today.

While feeling lost... Lord, I surrender all my prejudices to You today. Help me lay aside every perception and bias, every thought and worry. Today is the day I am to remember You and You alone.

Uncle Leslie read from John 4:21 - 24, and said, "It's not about where you worship, it's about how you worship."

Aah.

After service, I was so prepared to bermuka-tembok. I didn't really have to. Thank God.

Is it safe to stop hopping merely based on today?

Yes. I will not be against PJGH just because I suddenly don't feel welcome anymore next week. The time will come when I cease to be a new member, when my "new member privileges" will expire. It may be next week. ^_^"

I think the Lord has spoken.

It's not about me.

Here ends the hop.

i thank those who prayed.
and also those who vigilantly persevered
in inviting me their churches.
i do appreciate it very much.
i have given it all much thought. really.
may i still be your brethren though we worship apart.
thanks again. =)