Greetings, Yen Mei

Hihi geng yi will be asking why Yen Mei's come first before his.

Anyway, here's to our brave young (but older than me muahaha) Yen Mei who played for last Sunday's morning worship and yesterday's (Saturday) youth! Hip hip hooray!

Ahem. Look at what the kids have done to me. Cough cough.

Let's be serious.

I know you made some mistakes when you played, and your transition from end of song to the chorus wasn't exactly perfect, and that sometimes you just panicked and played an unsing-along-able kind of playing, but I just want to tell you that those are the kind of things that actually make a pianist.

Not those super-pro, non-human kind of pianists la. For normal, totally human pianists like us only.

Sis used to ask me to teach some other people piano also, and Lin used to bug me to teach her some stuff on the piano. But I always gave up half-way or taught so horribly that they gave up. The only thing that drives me to not give up on both you and Celine is the fact that both of you remind me so much of how my own experience.

Celine is like a mirror of me when I started out at 9.
You lei, is like when I was in Form 2 (yay you look young!)

I think I told you before, but I'll tell you again.

There was once Shin (zheng's sis) and I played together for sunday worship. It was horrible la. We were doing all sorts of stuff that we shouldn't be doing oso lor. I wouldn't elaborate on that. But after that Auntie Lay Hong came up to us and told us off. I know she didn't mean to hurt us in any way, but what she said hurt me anyway. She told me that because of what we did, she and another auntie couldn't worship at all that day. After that I didn't have the face to go to church anymore. I even considered attending Lin's church (super near my house, 3 minutes walk only) with the excuse of playing for their church. Thank God lots of people were concerned, especially our precious geng yi!!!! He called me and encouraged me to come back (that time I was still quite young eh). After that Auntie Lay Hong and I made up la. About how we did it, all I'll let out is the phrase "London Royal Circus" heheh.

After that incident, I really started to take playing for the church seriously. I learned a lot in the process - about how to conduct myself when I'm up there, what to do when there's a new song with 6 sharps / flats, how to know the speed of a song, how to still worship even though things can get awful out there, and other such things.
Through playing with the band, I learned many other things also. I acquired new playing styles (mainly pencurian of sin yee's and daniel's drum beats, sis' and zheng's bass tabs, and aaron's strumming styles), how to play without looking at the keys, how to shift from chorus to chorus, from key to key, and how to take note of the congregation's reaction to the playing while still focusing at the same time.

Skill is not something you get overnight. It took me 3 years, I think, to actually play a song without making it sound cacat, and until now, I'm still making mistakes. Less serious / major ones, no doubt, but they're still mistakes. You saw for yourself how I suddenly ter-changed key from A to Bb right ^^;

Don't be afraid of those mistakes. I mean, of course you don't go around being proud of the mistakes la. But just take note of those mistakes and, keeping in mind that you can get rid of them or at least decrease their number, try to do better the next time. Ask around, and curi around, it's ok wan. I do that all the time. Especially during DMSJ, when I steal bits and pieces of SAGC's David's styles =P (Mr SAGC Jun Yi, I know you're here... seng mok la hor)

Listen to more Christian music. I find that secular music don't really have good quality piano playing lor. It's like anybody oso can play wan. Scout around for good Christian music and learn from them. It's ok to spend time by the radio (or your mp3... the world's not the same anymore...) and playing and replaying the song till you get it right. Get involved in major church events. Although the experience WILL be very painful and tiring, in the end you'll find that your skill has advanced to a much higher level. It's something like naruto and dragonball la haha. I think those comic writers ciplak the idea from us wan la.

Curi my styles if you want, I don't mind. I curi most of mine from Auntie Angelina neway. I just change a little bit so it sounds like my own. Cis terbocor.

When I go off next year, you'll be the one to master the keys hor. Don't think that you'll never make it, or compare your playing to mine. When I first started out at 9, I never dreamed that I would be the one sitting up front playing from 9am to 10am every Sunday.

I hope you'll continue to play for the youth, and for church. It was (and is) through my struggles and falls in playing that I got (and still get) closer to God. For a pianist, this is the way we have to take la hor. Always make mistakes your best friend! Turn red in the face when you make them, if you must, but after that, pick yourself up and hit the keys again!

Kelas Ganti & Children's Hour

I prepared the "script" yesterday till 11 something at night. My fault la. Auntie Yu Ming gave me some books to get ideas from, but I thought I left it in Dad's car, which went to Cameron Highlands until Thursday night. Dad said the books weren't there when mum called him, but I didn't believe cuz I didn't know where else to find the books ^^; So when he came back I checked, and really not there wor...

Throughout the whole week kept thinking about where the books can possibly be and how to teach the children. Almost rammed into a car while driving. Tsk.

5.30 am - Got up
6.30 am - Left for school (kelas ganti)
6.50 am - Sesat in Ong Kim Wee; couldn't find Jaymuda -_-"
6.57 am - Found Jaymuda
7.05 am - Got into Seoks' car and headed for MHS
7.15 am - Arrived in school
7.28 am - Realized I ter-brought my handphone to school in my pocket
7.35 am - Went to Seoks' car to put my hp inside; prefect on duty shaking head at me T_T
12.20 pm - Found out school wasn't till 12 pm but 12.40 pm
12.40 pm - Left school in Seoks' car
12.56 pm - Arrived at Jaymuda, picked up car
1.40 pm - Arrived home
1.45 pm - Make bomb & mandi kerbau
2.00 pm - Lunch
2.17 pm - Left for church
2.43 pm - Arrived in church
3.05 pm - Realized didn't bring most of the props
3.10 pm - Serious practice with Li Lian commenced
4.06 pm - Children's Hour!

It was ok, I guess.. Lots of syok-sendiri-ing on my part +_= Feedback:

• Auntie Yu Ming - Teaching session was very alive cuz acted it out
• Auntie Kiat Tin - Ok. The kids were very interested.
• Little Ken - Very funny!
• Little Amy - Very nice!

^^;

I've come to appreciate the people who commit to children's work a whole lot more. They're really one talented bunch!

I actually wanted to go make bomb wan before the thing (when I'm nervous I don't get sweaty palms or panic or vomit or wat.. I have to make bomb, which is why I try as much as possible to not feel nervous), but then Shaun asked me to help Yen with Come On and Celebrate, plus needed to practice the songs with Li Lian. Was also having a headache before and after. I just thank God my head felt perfectly fine when I was "teaching".

The songs we sang today:

• This Is The Day
• I'm A Missionary After All
• I'm In The Lord's Army!
• My God Is So Big
  

We were teaching on Elijah and the Baal prophets on Mount Carmel, so I thought we should sing about God's power today. I wanted to do "How Excellent Your Name Is", but we sang it last week during the combined session with the youth already. I love that song so much! It's such a sincere and simple outburst of praise to God, without all those Christian jargons and flowery stuff in it. And also it reminds me of Auntie Shirley la.. I first heard the song from her lips, and learned the "dance" from her. It's one of the few things I can remember about her. Still remember how she used to lift her hands in worship also. Wonder what other wonderful things I could've learned from her if she were still alive today.

I think I'm still much too "organized" or scripted for children's work. Supposed to be spontaneous wan rite. The last time I did the OA Sunday School sketch oso.. Oh that reminds me. I did have some experience with kids at the OA. How could I forget? ^^;;;;;;;;;; Bad memory!

I had fun doing this with Lian today and the kids were really really cute, especially when they did the "yum yum" and "bloop bloop" stuff during unc Rod's session hehe. Struck me how spontaneous and fun-loving they all are. They didn't even hesitate to do those funny antics that youths usually find embarassing. Couldn't help noticing that Chai Ho (my young cousin!) felt a little out of place though. Wish I could do more to make him feel welcome here. He speaks mostly Hokkien, and the only Hokkien words I know are:

• Lu gong xi mi! ("I Do I Do")
  
• Jiak peng (The only thing I understand when grandma talks to me)
  
• Wa eh yia yia yia ("I Do I Do")
  
• Pang ie kek seng tu la bin (When planning to leave Mr Hoh's bday cake at grandma's place)
  
• Anekuan eh tai chi boh (Yen taught me from TV wan)
  
• Wa eh lau beh xi liao (Hokkien rendition of Star Wars)
  

As you can see, they're mostly useless ones. The only thing I can think of doing for him is to give him sandwiches when I have some.

Maybe I should go for Hokkien classes.

Hmm.

All in all, I know that I couldn't have done it today without God and without all those people backing me up and encouraging me!

Baal's Symbol

Found this while browsing around for an image of Baal for the Children's Hour.

Symbol of Baal - Horned Hand

Some of us do this also eh. So stop la. ^^

No title so I'll just call this "25 Jan 2007"

I was faced with 2 options when I woke up this morning:

1. Go to school, come back feeling feverish, skip PA tuition

• Pros I might get a full attendance cert at the end of the year, which can help me a great deal, since my co-curric is horrendous; I wun miss out on math paper 1; I can complete whatever hmwk I have in class and really rest when I come home; I can rest till the next day after coming back from school;
• Cons Ms Heng might teach on Section E of the non-linear text to linear text transition and I'll be so blur since my school PA teacher is as horrendous as my co-curric; I'd have to wake up at 5.40 am and only come back at 3.05 pm
  

2. Stay home from school, feel better, go for PA tuition

• Pros I might learn something new at tuition and prob not get lousy marks for PA in the upcoming test; I only have to get out of bed for 3 1/2 hours
  
• Cons I'd have to force myself to drive to Bachang in the middle of the afternoon after staying in bed the first half of that afternoon; I'll miss math paper 1 and have to catch up on two days' worth of hmwk when I'm back in school
  

I chose to go to school.

Qi would tell me to stop planning so much. Yeah. I should stop. I promised the group anyway. But it's really really hard not to. Sigh.

Must change!

We had Speaking for MUET today. Group members:

• Ming Suan (kaki tido in class, badminton pro)
• Wai Kee (sits behind me, badminton pro)
• Sinn Ting (CF treasurer, volleyball pro)

Looks like I'm the only un-athletic one -_-

Teacher let us choose which candidate we wanted to be.

Individual Tasks:

• A Women's role in sports, examples of local or international female athletes, and why their participation in sports is important
• B Women's role in politics, examples of women who have succeeded in this area, traditional precepts of women, and how they hinder women from being political successes
  
• C Women's role in business, and how women incorporate their skills into their other important roles: wife, mother, daughter, friend.
• D Women's role in education, their contributions to education and something else which I can't remember heheh

Group Task: Discuss the changing roles of women in this new millenium.

Ming Suan chose B and Sinn Ting chose C. Wai Kee let me choose first. I chose D. There was silence mostly, throughout the individual and group tasks. I tried to prompt them during the group discussion:

• "Ming Suan, what do you think? Do you agree?"
• "Wai Kee, you mentioned the achievements of women like Nicol David and Wong Mew Choo in sports, but I didn't really understand how their participation is actually important, to women, particularly. Do you have any ideas about that?"
• "Sinn Ting, I like what you said about how women can be more tolerant with their husbands because of their experience in management, but can you elaborate further with some examples? What exactly did you mean by that?"

But the result was almost always silence. Except in Wai Kee's case, where he promptly replied, "I really got no idea lor!" And laughed. We laughed also la.

I really really want to help them cuz MUET is really really important in applying for a local uni in m'sia. And I kinda understand their situation cuz I used to feel the same way when I was in chinese class. Somehow when I'm faced with a language that's not my first language, my mind becomes void of all ideas and huraian. I tried to give them some points during the discussion (teacher was busy with another group anyway), but as Ming Suan said, there's still the language & vocab problem. Hmm.

So I taught them a cheeky tactic.

The commencing of the group discussion is open to any one of the candidates. Since we probably wouldn't be in the same group in the real exam, I told them to look out for whoever had the best command of english in the group. Promptly start the discussion by restating the topic title, and repeating a few of the candidates' lines. Then turn to the English fella, and say, "What do you think?" or if they're afraid of being too obvious (we get marked down if we ask too much of the what-do-you-thinks), they can say, "Candidate X, you have a funny look on your face. Are you disagreeing with me?" Usually the English fella will try to help the others, so he'll probably play along. Then whatever he sez, the rest can just copy paste lor. And just nod nod and agree when he sez something. Then keep prompting the others to speak, and they'll get marks for leadership.

Of course it's a gamble la. Sometimes we get mean english-ed people in the group who just want to get Band 6 and ketepikan everyone else in the group by hoarding the discussion. And also sometimes we get a group that's purely chinese-ed. And sometimes we panic and get tongue-tied during the whole discussion.

But no choice la hor.

I'm glad I went to school today.

Oh ya. Today the muslim guy (always hiding somewhere.. never see him before.. only hear his voice wan) was reciting his prayers again for the whole F6 quad. I can't understand why they must mumble. It's like taboo to speak properly. Never mind that.

Anyway, he was mumbling something about "ampunilah dosa kita, dosa ibu bapa kita" and a whole bunch of other people's dosa. And very detailed wan noe. Got list out all the dosa wan. I was thinking, "These people... always asking for forgiveness... like so takut dosa liddat...", and then I realized that Christians are supposed to be like that also. Though not ask for forgiveness cuz scared kena hukum la. And I thought to myself: These non-Christians, who don't have the truth, ask for forgiveness everyday. Literally everyday. Sometimes I don't confess my sins seriously, and I just do it cuz it's been drilled into me that it's harder to actually communicate with God when there's still the barrier of unconfessed sins. These Muslims are asking forgiveness from a cold, distant god. I have a God who's so close to me that He can whisper and still be heard! It shouldn't be so difficult to confess my sins to Him.

I felt that I was put to shame by these Muslims today.

Must change!

Makan Telur? Me?

Never!

Hmmph.

Marcus said he and zheng would make me and qi makan telur during badminton.

Well, we didn't! Wahahaha.

Don't think I'm keeping a grudge.

I'm not.








I'm plotting revenge!

Muahaha!

Zheng didn't say anything so he's spared.

To Marcus: I will make you makan telur one day. Beware.

National Bible Knowledge Postal Quiz

I'm trying to get my class mates to join also, especially those who have a Bible. One of them is so interested in the quiz that he says he'll bring his Bible tomorrow (though he's not a Christian) to show me in case it's not the same version as the quiz's.

But there are Christians who refuse to take the quiz, though. And the guy with the Bible told one Christian straight-forwardly: "Dowan take the quiz? Eh you Christian anot wan?"

For those who read this, please pray that the Christians will at least have a little more courage than the non-Christians to take the quiz and to make a stand in this Muslim-dominant school.

And also that the Christians in cf will buck up on their Bible knowledge... especially simple things like "Man shall not leave on bread alone"...

I shall not elaborate.

And many thanks to Pei Ling for your encouragement today! I'll do God's best on Saturday (sounds weird but it's definitely correct)!

Church Break-in & Children's Hour

As Shaun wrote in his post, somebody (or some bodies hmm) broke into the church again. This time the police are taking it seriously la, probably cuz their evidence camera got stolen right under their noses.

Anyway, they took:

• The refrigerator
• Wine
  
• Kettles
• Thermo flask
• Drums (yeah the whole thing.. but they dropped the cymbals on the way. Butter fingers tsk tsk)
• Bass amplifier
• Mics
• Standing fan (aargh)

As I've been telling my group members and the girls during prayer meet, the judgment on the robbers would be far greater than our "losses". We could never bring the fridge to heaven with us anyway. (Why I mention the fridge? Cuz it's the most important one among the above ahem) But for those robbers, when they get to heaven for judgment, God will look straight at them and say:

You stole My fridge in 2007.

Or something like that.

It would sound quite as mild as it does here, of course. And that's only one sin. What about the many other sins they're bound to commit in future?

I don't regret that this incident happened. I mean, of course I wish the robbers hadn't robbed the church. But then I think this robbery has caused some of us to be more careful about the way we handle God's house and the things in that house. It's taught us some lessons, certainly, but as Jesus said, "Woe unto that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed" when He referred to Judas' betrayal leading to His death, so it'll be with those robbers. What they did taught us something, but it doesn't justify what they did.

Let's not be angry with them ya. They're so much more pitiful than us.

Oh ya. I'm teaching in the Children's Hour this Sat, with Li Lian. The only times I had with children in GLO, I spent playing the piano and acting as the beat-up guy in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

Tsk.

I need some serious prayer.

Pray k.

Badminton of Badmintons

I played today. Uncle Ivan tricked me into playing.

I'm not impressed with how karat-ed my playing has become.

I shall begin anew.

But a bit lazy la.

Never mind.

I'll probably get tricked into playing again next week.

Bring it on, all you tricksters!

I am frustrated..

They don't seem to understand that sometimes I need my notes to complete my exercises...
... and that I can't complete my exercises if they don't return them to me...

I keep wishing they'll give me my notes back earlier but I don't do anything about it.

That makes things more frustrating.

Aargh.

Why is MR = a - 2bQ not equal to MR = d(TR)/d(Q)? They're supposed to be the same..

Aargh. Again.

Glitch! Glitches everywhere!

Aargh. And again I say aargh.

But I kinda promised to be more positive this year.

So screw the aarghs.

Econs dateline's not till friday! I have 2 days left!

Except Derrick wants to borrow my papers tmr.

I have the whole day at school tmr to do it!

Screw the aarghs!

Just A Thought

If I were to call Shaun, Shaunny...

... Jessica, Jessie...

... Mark, Markie...

... then Adrian Mau would be...

... Mawi!

Just a thought.

Ignore me.

Shaun has a blog!

Hihi.... Hope got more words than sis' wan eh.... hehehhehehehe....

I Started A Conversation

... and kept it going.

YAY!

Today I sent Shaun to MAKSAT for badminton with the rest of the church people. Don't misunderstand eh. It's not like I'm a super good sis or wat. There were many reasons for me to send him to MAKSAT:

1. I like driving. Nah, screw that. I love driving. Nah. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEE driving.
2. I forgot to pass around the Barnabas Aid "Right to Justice" petition form (how could I??? Aarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...) in church, so I thought I'd do it at MAKSAT.
3. I wanted to make an effort to socialize since I'm so horrible at it.

Aaron Jr's uncle and cousins came today. No need so much info on the uncle la hor.

Name: Terrance Joseph
Racial Heritage: Mix of Portugese & Indian blood
Age: 16
School: SMK St. Francis
Interests: Religion(s)

Name: Tania Joseph
Racial Heritage: Mix of Portugese & Indian blood
Age: 13
School: SMK Seri Kota
Interests: Anime & Mexican Drama Series

Phew! Socializing isn't as bad as it used to be!

Sis was right. The tough part is always initiating the conversation. After that, things get better. Phew again. Phew!

It's good to know that I can still do something besides sitting on the bench like a pitiful person.

I think I'll start to go to MAKSAT more often.

Accident!

Yup.

I think I'll go learn about cars so that I'll know how damaged a car is, and which car is damaged less during an accident, so that I can properly evaluate the situation and at least know what to say when (ya, not if) I get into an accident.

Seoks was fetching me to dad's office in Ong Kim Wee after "house practice". We didn't actually have house practice cuz it rained. Yay!!!!

Seoks was following this white car pretty closely la (so close that dad would chew me out if I did it). The driver turned on the left signal and wanted to turn left, but he was really taking his time about it. Seoks braked, but then decided she'd overtake him from the right and zoom away. But as she was going to do it, she realized she couldn't cuz there wasn't enough space. So she braked again. Kinda sudden stop la. I mean, she was at about 10 km/hr but it still wasn't slow enough, I suppose.

CRASH! BOOM! BANG! PIANG!

No la. Not like that, but it felt like that. I thought we hit the front car, but it turned out it was the back one la. The Mercedes behind us had been going at 40 km/hr when Seoks braked the first time. I don't really understand what the fella was saying, but he said that it was her fault because she braked suddenly the second time. Seoks argued back and said that she braked the first time, and the second time she moved, it was dreadfully slow (which I agree with). He argued that he was going very slowly too at 40 km/hr. Seoks said: 40 heng kuai liao leh (which I agree with also. Of course, you do realize that I didn't voice out my agreement there and then..). Then he and his gf - I think - went on talking about how it was Seoks' fault for braking and then moving then braking again. So cuz my Mandarin is so teruk, I only managed to piece every bit of their conversation together after quite some time to learn that they were actually blaming the accident on Seoks' 2nd stop.

Frankly, I found their hujah-hujah pretty silly. If they were going at 40 km/hr, they would've knocked into her anyway the first time she braked. It was only because she moved again that they knocked into her a few seconds later. In fact, it was about 4 seconds after Seoks braked before I felt the boom crash and all that. So they were actually condemning themselves.

But as I said, my Mandarin is horrendous, so I didn't dare speak up about that in case nobody understood me and I had to repeat myself and face such an awkward moment. And also, Seoks was getting pretty garang and the guy looked like he was about to start a gaduh or something. His gf also looked like want to slap people already. Violence everywhere! Aargh!

Anyway Seoks called her uncle, and the gaduh-guy called his dunno-who. The owner of the Merz, I suppose. Wah that guy ar, lagi garang. He came with a cigarette in his hand, and a packet of cigarettes. Didn't dress up like a typical ah beng samseng la (or is it samseng ah beng? Hmm) but fuh the way he walked and talked, really like the along in Hokkien TV shows. The samseng-guy admitted that it was the Then the gaduh-guy spoke up and said he was going very slow. But then FUH the samseng-guy suddenly raised his voice and said (yelled):

Ni zhou ji man ye shi ni de chuo! Ni shi hou mian de che! Ni zhe chien mian zhe yang wo ye bu dong ni! Zi ji zao chien pei!

Doinks man. So garang. I really chuak lor. Anyway, the samseng-guy was all nice guy when he talked to Seoks' uncle, and he gave him the address of his mechanic friend, and told Seoks' uncle to go there to repair the car.

After that, Seoks apologized to the gaduh-guy for getting him into such hot soup.

And she said that maybe it was a fate for her to get into the accident cuz she never listened to her uncle's advice against following a car so closely.

So all's well that ends well.

Unfortunately it didn't end very well for the gaduh-guy.

Watchnight BBQ

I did the rain proud. Hmm. I do not wish to comment on this.

We had a bbq at Unc Ivan's place at 7pm yesterday (errr Dec 31 la) till 12 am or so. Me and my siblings went home earlier cuz cannot tahan already. Except Shaun la. Hmm.

After I played a little with the waterworks, I went to the bathroom. After I came out, Aaron was there drinking water, and he asked me whether I was ok. So touched T_T I've never really asked him about how he was feeling or whether he was alright or things like that, so I felt bad a little when he asked me.

Auntie Jen and Auntie Tina fed me with hotdogs after that to help me feel better. Haha. I am now officially retiring from hotdogs and marshmellows!

After that, El came and sit beside me, and he teman me throughout the rest of the evaluation meeting la. Thank God for El! And he thanked me for encouraging him during the family camp. I said lots of things and did lots of things to lots of people. I really didn't think that anything I did would actually have an impact (maybe dun even have effect) on anyone. To hear him say that was something very encouraging to me also la. Like what I've been doing has not been in vain, and that the group discussion in camp had really been worth it.

Uncle Ivan and Marcus got me a cup and El filled the cup with water for me.

Evaluation ended, El left, and Zheng came over and asked how I was. I told him what I kept telling myself in the bathroom:

I don't know how that happened...

He told me it was because I'd been bottling everything up inside and so today everything spilled uh splashed out. Maybe.

Ok. Not maybe. It's memang la. Haiz.

Sharma came to entertain me with one of his crazy stunts, can't really remember what it was, but it was funny anyway. And it really helped me smile again. Not that I was miserable or wat, but after playing with waterworks, one tends to find it hard to smile, ya know? Hmm.

Chen Li just smiled knowingly at me when I looked at her during the programme planning. Heh. Who knows how many times I've given her the same look when she did the same thing I did last night (technically last night k).

Geng Yi just nudged me and grinned his goofy grin. As far as I'm concerned, that was and is all I need from him ^^ I recall giving him the same nudge but a nicer grin la when he shared during camp haha.

Shaun came over while we were praying and nudged me and said he was sorry for always poking fun at my "what's your spiritual condition" trademark phrase.
Frankly, I was never frustrated at him when he did it, cuz I know he takes the grp devo seriously. So I told him it was ok.

I ended the year 2006 in a way I never expected. I found many good things in many people and saw that I'm surrounded by people who want to be good and kind. And I also saw that I haven't been tapping into my capacity to be that way.

I want to care more about people, and to be able to show them that care... I've always seemed so indifferent because I was afraid my effort would look superficial or something. God taught me how to care yesterday. He gave me so many examples. I'm going to try and follow those examples.

Mum always says:

Don't say you'll try; say you will.

So I suppose I'll change that last sentence a little bit.

I WILL follow those examples!