We had a bbq at Unc Ivan's place at 7pm yesterday (errr Dec 31 la) till 12 am or so. Me and my siblings went home earlier cuz cannot tahan already. Except Shaun la. Hmm.
After I played a little with the waterworks, I went to the bathroom. After I came out, Aaron was there drinking water, and he asked me whether I was ok. So touched T_T I've never really asked him about how he was feeling or whether he was alright or things like that, so I felt bad a little when he asked me.
Auntie Jen and Auntie Tina fed me with hotdogs after that to help me feel better. Haha. I am now officially retiring from hotdogs and marshmellows!
After that, El came and sit beside me, and he teman me throughout the rest of the evaluation meeting la. Thank God for El! And he thanked me for encouraging him during the family camp. I said lots of things and did lots of things to lots of people. I really didn't think that anything I did would actually have an impact (maybe dun even have effect) on anyone. To hear him say that was something very encouraging to me also la. Like what I've been doing has not been in vain, and that the group discussion in camp had really been worth it.
Uncle Ivan and Marcus got me a cup and El filled the cup with water for me.
Evaluation ended, El left, and Zheng came over and asked how I was. I told him what I kept telling myself in the bathroom:
I don't know how that happened...He told me it was because I'd been bottling everything up inside and so today everything spilled uh splashed out. Maybe.
Ok. Not maybe. It's memang la. Haiz.
Sharma came to entertain me with one of his crazy stunts, can't really remember what it was, but it was funny anyway. And it really helped me smile again. Not that I was miserable or wat, but after playing with waterworks, one tends to find it hard to smile, ya know? Hmm.
Chen Li just smiled knowingly at me when I looked at her during the programme planning. Heh. Who knows how many times I've given her the same look when she did the same thing I did last night (technically last night k).
Geng Yi just nudged me and grinned his goofy grin. As far as I'm concerned, that was and is all I need from him ^^ I recall giving him the same nudge but a nicer grin la when he shared during camp haha.
Shaun came over while we were praying and nudged me and said he was sorry for always poking fun at my "what's your spiritual condition" trademark phrase.
Frankly, I was never frustrated at him when he did it, cuz I know he takes the grp devo seriously. So I told him it was ok.
I ended the year 2006 in a way I never expected. I found many good things in many people and saw that I'm surrounded by people who want to be good and kind. And I also saw that I haven't been tapping into my capacity to be that way.
I want to care more about people, and to be able to show them that care... I've always seemed so indifferent because I was afraid my effort would look superficial or something. God taught me how to care yesterday. He gave me so many examples. I'm going to try and follow those examples.
Mum always says:
Don't say you'll try; say you will.So I suppose I'll change that last sentence a little bit.
I WILL follow those examples!
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