geram-ness.

everyone should be serious in a meeting.

if you must be funny, please do be really funny.
i don't laugh at trivial jokes anymore.
i never laugh at act-cute jokes.
don't jumble up your sentences.
don't skip syllables.
speak coherently.
unnecessary hand gestures annoy me immensely.
my perfectionism and critical mind are at their peak.
i was forced out of sleep for this meeting.
can you tell?


but i still suka indo mee and spaghetti,
garlic bread dipped in mushroom soup,
and my little brother's chocolate aeroplane in the fridge.

benciness.

when i don't get to do what i adamantly want to do.

the perfect family life

(today's topic in church)

the youth team did a lawak skit first. seriously lawak. exaggerated expressions and over-british accents. XD

then uncle wee min spoke. from here on, i quote uncle wee min. er. maybe paraphrase la.

I wanted to teach John 3:16 to my children, and not just make them memorize it, but make it real to them. So I told them, "Today's Family Quiet Time will be a game." I told them to go up the stairs without touching the stairs. My son tried to scale the wall. And failed. My daughter tried to imitate her brother. And she did it well. She failed too. My youngest kid was like, "Dad, why're you doing this to us?" I smiled, and said, "There is a way to do it." Then I picked my son up, put him on my back, and carried him up the stairs.

We must be intentional and creative when we teach our children, not just give them an exegesis of the Bible and expect it to capture their hearts.

I think my children got what I was trying to teach them - the love of God, and that Jesus Christ took our sins on His shoulders in John 3:16.

For God so loved the world
That He gave His only begotten Son
That whoever believes in Him
Shall not perish
But shall have everlasting life.

John 3:16

"chester, do you want some barley?"

"no thanks. i don't like barley."

*o_O* "you don't like broccoli, you don't like cauliflower, you don't like barley???"

"ruth, you're making those things way cooler than they are."

THE best introduction ever.

"abang saufi, mesti baca dengan gaya setimpal ya."

saufi = encik ahmad saufi
= contract tutor + lecturer + assignment marker

nah.

guys from the faculty of law.

(excluding me)
venue: law library
time: when the librarians were not around. =P

(from left)
john, louis (apa gaya tu?), chong leng, kok wing a.k.a. mr questionnaire, jackson
(my eyes are blue. lol.)

kock sin tried to put some expression on my lethargic face.

"tse hweiiiii!!!! i tell you ar. this friday. i. am. going. to. eat............... PENANG LAKSA!!!!!"

"i don't like penang laksa."

"-_-! ok, then. never mind. i'm also going to eat.................. BAK CHANG!!!!!"

"sorry. don't really like bak chang also."

*edit* in the end, kock sin's face pula yang banyak expression.

say la sandwiches.
i naik giler.
but then.
nothing special about eating sandwiches on friday.
=P

my theory that supposedly explains old-age sarcasm.

jason: "my english lecturer very sarcastic wan. she'll read out our answers like this ---"

i was telling jason that some old people are so mean and sarcastic because they didn't handle whatever baggages they had when they were younger. it's easy to put on all sorts of faces sorrylah. the word 'masks' is just too cliche. and smile all the time when we're younger. and we have the amazing energy to tolerate untolerable people.

my theory is that the older a person gets, the lesser he/she tries to hide who he/she really is. mean old people are just what they are - mean people. they just grew old. so now -> old mean people. sarcastic old people are old sarcastic people.

clever?

no la. i read it somewhere before. =P

"my english lecturer forces us to write our answers in full: 'how can you write incomplete sentences for english!'"

"tell your lecturer, in court nobody answers in full wan."
"but it's english--"
"tell her we're law students, not english students."

-listened to contract lecture for awhile-

"you should help your english lecturer in the morning noe. she has to carry a radio and her bag, and she can't open the door by herself."
"she comes to the faculty very early. like, 8.40am (class starts 9am) she was there already."
"then you should come early lor."
"okay. i'll come 20 minutes early to carry a radio."
"noooo, to help her open the door."
"yeah. then i sit down and stare at her for the next 20minutes right."

-brief silence-

"yoh. i think i'm quite sarcastic also. i better get rid of it before i'm old."

i forgive you.

i keel you.

li ern brought chocolate bread to law cg today.

joshua blocked norbert

Norbert: *holds bread with hands* "Come, let's pray for the bread."

Li Ern: "Your hands clean anot??"

Norbert: "I come with clean hands."

Joshua: "Wah, equity ah you?"


Equity*! Lawyer joke. XD


*legal maxim: "he who comes to equity must come with clean hands."

li ern: "i'm the lawless one in this law cg."
me: "you unlawful la you."
(li ern's not from the faculty of law)
(but she joins us faithfully and is hence,)
(very much a part of us)

"people from other faculties are looking for guys from the law faculty"

"wut."

that was my initial reaction. because... ah haha. hee. hoho. huhu. =P i didn't say anything ah. lalala.

second reaction was: "what about girls from the law faculty?"

then i discovered that a lot of people think that girls from the faculty of law are too domineering, assertive of their rights, argumentative etc. hence tak laku.

melissa happened to be an advocate of this school of thought, and she told me so.

at first i accepted it. but then again, why is okay for guys to be domineering, assertive of their rights, and argumentative, and not okay for girls to be the same? this is gender discrimination. if a guy can be afraid of his girlfriend suing him in future, a girl should be afraid of her boyfriend suing her in future too.

would guys rather have a ding-dong, clueless girlfriend who says "yes" to everything he says?

oookay, maybe they do. but that just isn't right. partners should build each other up, compliment each other, and contribute a similiar material amount to the relationship, although in different ways.

PLUS not all girls from the faculty of law are domineering, assertive of their rights and argumentative.

girls from the faculty of law are very timid and pleasant wan.

i don't think i'd make a domineering girlfriend, plus i keep quiet most of the time because i'm too lethargic to argue. and i don't assert my rights very much.

...

"...i'm asserting my rights, aren't i?"

"yes, you are." -mel-

post-lawnite committee dinner.

There's always that point in a relationship where everyone forgets every strife, every conflict, every hurt - differences, huge as they may have seemed just an hour ago. One wonders why everyone can't be like that all the time. Not just for that tiny slot in the day. Not even for just that day.

Maybe if everyone chose the right things to remember, everyone could be happier. Or is it because everyone can't be like that all the time, that makes that one slot in the day so appreciated?

Maybe we were made for a world where the best is never yet to come, because there is no best. Because everything is perfect.

Maybe we were made for eternity.

Have you ever wondered what eternity would be like?

I have.

"ji dan, ji dan, kan sui de ji dan xian po!"
(egg, egg, see whose egg breaks first!)

"sam, this is how tall you are."

"eew, i look so big. nah, it's just an illusion - what's wrong with your phone!"

DMSJ quiz's coming up again.

[DMSJ = Daya GC + Melaka GC + Shah Alam GC + Johor Bharu GC]


sis and i were making a list of past participants and floor members from 2000 to 2008.

we couldn't really remember what happened in 2005 and 2006.

sis: "we got last place in the first quiz. first place in the next. then last, first, last..."

...

me: "then we didn't bother checking the trophy anymore."

back in the ol' fishing village.

Sometimes we make the same mistake the Catholic church did:
We cut off ties and fellowship with other assemblies
because we hold on to certain traditions and practices.
Is one assembly more brethren than the other?


The concept of priesthood in the Bible does not mean
being able to stand up and participate on Sundays
It means being able to come into God's presence.
Man or woman - we are all priests in the Lord's eyes.


Public prayers are not meant to be long.
They're supposed to be brief and to the point.
Brothers, don't be afraid to pray on Sundays
just because you think your prayers are too short.
You can just pray, "God, thank You! Amen!"


I'm not saying singing is wrong, but don't take the easy way out.
Share a verse from the Bible to encourage all of us.
There's nothing wrong with preparing the night before.
I used to see Marcus reading from a piece of paper every Sunday.


-Dad, Youth Meeting: Catholics-

i miss listening to marcus read from his piece of paper dengan penuh emosi.
i miss watching jerm read from his piece of paper dengan gaya semacam.
i miss seeing uncle ivan piece everyone's sharing to form the day's theme of worship.
i miss livia's glare.

aih.

may all the cows in new zealand grow thin like the ones in nebuchadnezzar's dream.
eh but then they gobbled up the fat cows.

we had a post-mortem for lawnite today.

screw the backstabbers.

the rest are the best.

first day of fragments.

the famous hair clip everyone thought was a joystick.

kinda makes the keyboard look like the dashboard of an alien spaceship.

the keyboard's signal was in fragments. lol.

anyway, it's fixed today.

it's ok. i gained a lot from last night's experience with the keyboard.


1. i put my smiling face to good use.

i.e. (a) *smile smile smile* "clarence, keyboard no sound."
i.e. (b) "smile smile smile* "kee aun, what shall i do now?"
i.e. (c) clarence: "tse hwei, why the keyboard so soft wan?" *smile smile smile* "don't know."


2. i learned some technical stuff.

the keyboard was sending out a low signal, which made it incompatible with the signal that the system was sending out. the signal was too hot, hence the feedback. should have used some padding for the keyboard. plus it was sharing the power source with the projector and laptop. don't ever add things to what's already there. if you do, conduct a sound test and check it out first. also, we need a compressor because it's dangerous when the actors shout into the mics.

my experience with my rambling pengajian am teacher has helped a lot. i can be blur without looking like i didn't understand most of what that sound system uncle said.


3. i discovered how much i love the dark.

i'm like my hero - batman! we're so compatible! yay! now, if only he was real.


4. i rediscovered the joy of working with people i can call my brothers and sisters.

i was very affected when the lawnite assistant head of the performance bureau yelled at me to hurry up to the front for my turn to perform. especially since i'd been delayed because i was helping a guest with his parking coupon problem. ah, i know she was stressed out. but. like jason says in the play, she didn't have to shout. i don't shout when i'm stressed. in fact, i do the opposite. i clam up real good. but then that's me. ah. whatever. different people different behaviour, i suppose.

also, seniority is a huge thing in the faculty, and i can't understand why. i understand respect, but i refuse to accept forced authority. law faculty-ians complain about everything, demand every right, pick little faults to expound on, treat seniority as a position instead of a condition.

as with the other pkvians, jen hann doesn't feel@act like a senior at all.

i've seen backstabbings going on even among the lawnite committee. and i've had enough. i commented that i prefer working on the easter production to working on lawnite. chelsea asked why. i said all of the above.

plus the easter production is to honour God and to encourage one another.

chelsea said the faculty projects could help us gain experience, build some rapport with the seniors there's that word again, and get to know lawyers and corporate individuals (networking).

i replied, "then what?" i'm not even gonna say 'there's more to life than networking' cuz it's just plain ridiculous.

is that all there is to it? what's the point of all these projects? who, among those involved in these projects, can honestly disagree that the most part of the experience they gain is how to deal with backstabbers?

rachel: "hey, what was wrong with the keyboard?"
me: *starts long recitation of the uncle's narration*
rachel: *stops me halfway and does the huggy thing* "it's ok. you did good."

see the difference?

george, rachel, divya
after posing for my cameraphone: "tse hwei, why must you always take pictures!"

5. i realized i was zalim.

no, not as in cruel. zalim is a term in islamic law concerning the faith ,which means "not putting something in the right place". it wasn't until the keyboard went soundless that i realized that my heart wasn't in the right place. it shouldn't have been so important for me to want to play. so what if i couldn't play? the easter play is not about me. it's not a platform for me to show off on the keyboard. i think God did it again. He always pulls this sort of thing. maybe i knew. maybe that's why i wasn't worried at all after the first few soundlessness. i left the keyboard, sat down on my *reserved* bangga! seat and watched the play with a smile.


but still.

i hope to play something significant on the keyboard tonight.

ahahaha.

unlike some people, i only have a small cameraphone.
so if you look closely, you'll see i pieced two pictures together.

Easter Production: Fragments

10 and 11 March 2009
Tuesday and Wednesday
7.30pm
Auditorium Kompleks Perdana Siswa (KPS)
Universiti Malaya
Ticket Price: Free!

This is what I've been busy with for... er... four days. Practice has been going on for quite some time k. I've only been to four meetings (three, excluding the music practice which had nothing to do with me actually) because I signed up for it at the last minute for a charitable purpose. i initially signed up under "lain-lain" in the Where Do You Want To Serve? poster. lol.

Anyway, come for it. Script is cool lah. Plus I'm playing background music on the keyboard among the audience. Gonna find a hot guy and ask him to autograph the keyboard. Oh. But then it's Kee Aun's keyboard. Never mind. I'll ask the hot guy to find a hot chick to sign the keyboard for Kee Aun. Siap. Cekap.

Or you guys can ask for my autograph also. I'll tear a page of the script and sign on it for you. Lalala~

And ya, bring a jacket, and please wear jeans. No need to show off skin because it'll turn blue in the cold anyway.

Stage crew's practicing carrying props and stuff now. I've nothing much to do. Either eat more of the snacks I brought here or play the soundless keyboard. (PA people turned it off)

No pictures because this isn't my laptop. thanks Jon, for letting me use your laptop. although you didn't exactly give me permission to use it. prolly cuz i didn't actually ask you for it. =P


p/s: outsiders can come too.
p/ss: the production was in the star newspaper. =D

the discomfort zone. every project has it.

"Don't know is not an option."

-Kevin Kwa-

i refrain from saying "I don't know". simply because it's the most easily rebuttable excuse.

e.g.

"i don't know how to do this."
"learn la."


so i say "I cannot". clever much?

i was mentally drained yesterday. you know what drains your energy the most? it's making yourself do something you think you can't.

i hate the phrase "i don't know". i didn't attempt to use it yesterday when we were experimenting with the background music.

but the more i used my clever phrase, the more i felt that "i cannot" seemed so final.

so when everyone went back to doing their own thing, i struggled. i stood by kee aun's keyboard and fought the urge to dream that li ern could take my place. forced myself to crawl out of the self-pity pool i was wallowing in. ah. wallowing in self-pity. don't like doing something i've always told other people not to do.

hwei, whether you can play it or not, you're gonna play.

just do it and get on with life.

plus.

God. Help.

come, since i have readers (and thus a network), lemme invent a quote.

Don't know is not an option.

Cannot is too final.

Just do it.

-Tse Hwei-

remember i said it when it gets famous.

still got enough confidence to berbangga tak kena tempat.
*edit* i know! maybe i should say "I don't". e.g. "I don't do sports."