Tuesday 11 August 2009

your choice is not the end.

you wonder if the person holding your hand will ever let go someday. thus you expect too much. or perhaps the blind eye you turn becomes one too many.

you wonder how and when death will claim you. thus you fear death.

you wonder what it is like to know that second is your last second on earth. thus you hold on to all that you have. sometimes you hold on to more. you refuse others what you could have gladly offered.

you wonder if your efforts will pay off - if your revolution will indeed be, a revolution. thus you shrink into your little world of fairies and happy endings. no, you say you don't believe in fairies and happy endings, but when you decide not to venture into uncharted seas, you are afraid that you will be robbed of your happy ending.

we wonder, wonder and wonder. sometimes we call ourselves great thinkers, deliberaters - rational, logical, careful people. when in reality we are but cowards. people afraid of making a choice that becomes The Great End.

if we could only ponder why youth - the strongest bunch - are also the most reckless bunch.

no other branch of our kind - the humans - possesses both the mental and physical strength to accomplish great things without fear or favour.

my cousin chor yeow once said that with age, he becomes increasingly fearful of the things he once relished. in this case, bungee-jumping.

but this empowerment within the young self is often used for the young self and none other.

sigh.

if we could only move.

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