It's different

It's different when you're in a room of 34 law students.

The other committee groups I've been in will skim over designs and details we usually call "trifles".

Here, every detail was expounded in even greater detail.

I must add that I've never seen so much passion and conviction in any other committee meeting.

Everyone speaks up.

I felt like Chelsea and I were one of the only ones (besides the rest of us in our bureau) who didn't talk.

People who know me will know that I rarely speak up when the situation calls for it the most. I speak up when someone is very obviously twisting a Biblical doctrine. I speak up when I'm in MGC's committee meeting. Sometimes. About stuff I know. Like washing the dishes.

But I rarely speak up.

And to my shame, I confess that I rarely speak up even for my friends.

Every word is mulled over and contemplated, every tone and gesture carefully calculated before I form them in reality. What if's flood in every time I want to say something.

Hence, I always walk away from a meeting feeling dejected, stupid, and emotionally down. Because I never say what I want to say, or what needs to be said.

Today, as the chairperson asked for a show of hands, I showed my hand. I waved it in the air like I was losing the school bus.

"Can I say something?"

I can't remember the last time I spoke that phrase.

I did say something. I said something for me, my ideas, my ideals, my friends' ideas, ideals and efforts.

I don't know if the claps that came after I sat down were sincere, or if they were just a mockery of what I had to say (which was quite a lot, i can tell you), but I felt much, much better after saying it all.

Only ten of them (excluding members of the high committee) voted in my favour, leaving 18 to vote for the other option.

Sucky. Maybe I made some people a little disgruntled. But still, I could keep my head held high, because this was one of those times I had said all that I wanted say. Everything.

Everything.

I thank my friends for their support. Especially Chelsea. T_T (not that i don't appreciate the rest of them, but before my 'speech', i asked chelsea which one she would vote for, and she'd honestly been saying the other one was nice and all, so... i take her vote as a very loyal and noble gesture)

As for the rest, I wouldn't hold it against them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I just hope they'd had carefully and neutrally considered their decision after listening to my mini-speech.

Ahhh.

In such a mood to read those 2 cases for tomorrow, 3 cases for next week, 5 cases for assignment, and 8 cases for Tort now.

Lalala.

er no, this was not a vote for presidency or whatever.
it was something else, which i'm afraid i can't reveal.
oh ya, that reminds me.
i discovered a drink called Whatever, and another one called Anything.
marketing strategy, huh?