Thursday 6 January 2011

in ten years.

When I was months old, I probably didn't think.

When I was five, days were timeless for a child like me.

When I was ten, I wanted to be a clerk like my mum (then) because she is just so awesome.

When I was 15, I read Little Women and thought it would be quite awesome to see if I could dream a dream  ten years ahead and live it. I thought I'd be an astronomer and put my love for the cosmos io practical use.

When I was 20, it was my fourth year of giving up on that first dream, and my third year of dreaming a second dream. In ten years, I pictured myself a Christian lawyer fighting for the landless.

At 23, that second dream has changed a little. I discovered Land Law puts tears in my eyes, though not tears of empathy and passion as I had hoped. 

At 23, I have begun to think that perhaps there is more to dream of than just my vocation, though I should still dream of a worthy one.

At 23, I dream of being more than a godly woman. I dream of being a woman of God in every way - an older sister to a younger seeker friend, a woman with a discerning heart, an older woman with the wealth of experience I faithfully sought through steps of faith, a gentle soul to one in great pain.

Because ten years before, I would never have understood pain and hurt the way I do now. 

How much more will I understand ten years from now?

How many more friends will pass before they reach their ten-year mark?

Life is too short, as they rightly say.
But life's frailty has its power,
because the wise would realize that this is not the time to 'get the most out of life'.
This is the time to allow lives to get the most out of us.

The reason why we have been attending so many funerals is because the generation two tiers above us are passing away. 

Time is short.

It'll soon be time to take our place as the "generation two tiers above". 

At 23, I hope to be a worthy member of the "generation a tier above" ten years from now.

For if I don't think these things, I'm no different than when I was months old.


p/s: pastor dave said that people get very philosophical during exams. e.g. "there is more to life than spm!" it's the same for uni students shortly before assignment due dates.