holiday-schmoliday.

-Me-

from choo soon.

"Never, never, never, never give up. Because God never gives up. 

What I've learned is

that I can only give up when God gives up on me and my family."

Slightly paraphrased, but his spirit and heart are preserved.


People seem to say great things when they need to.
I should take note of everything, then write a book one day.

My acknowledgments section will be, like, 5 pages long.

Ahaha.

if i had to write an essay now.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

Love is, love is.

Is love a thing, a decision, an emotion, or a person?

If love were a thing, it would not be able to rejoice.

If love were a decision, it would not be able to be angered.

If love were an emotion, it would not be able to protect.

If love were a person...

If love were a person...

There is no such person.

The Bible also says that God is love. (1 John 4:8) 

Is love, then, a standard unachievable by none but One?

If so, none of us are able to love. What then, do we mean when we tell each other, "I love you"? When man and woman stand before the altar, do they say, "I hereby vow to achieve the unattainable"?

Yesterday, I asked God if there is a painless love.

But without pain and hurt, there would be no need for love to be kind, or to keep no record of wrongs, or to persevere.

Aye, I do believe in love. It would be stupid of me to not believe in love. Because love, in its fullness, is perfect. It is we, man, who are unable to measure up to love's standards. 

I like how The Message interpreted verse seven of 1 Corinthian 13:

Love trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. 

If imperfect beings could try for an imperfect love, this would be the imperfect love I would choose to have.


Abba Bapa, 
Apa yang  kelihatan mustahil bagiku,
Itu sangat mungkin bagi-Mu.
Anak-Mu tetap percaya. 

from sieh jin.

"The shadow proves the sunshine"

It's a song by Switchfoot, but it works well as a gentle reminder.

Thanks. =)

prayer heals.

The oceans may rise,
and the thunders may roar,
but as I stay with His arms,
I find myself able to soar.


Still my Constant in the midst of unknowns,
and still, I believe.

Thank You for the two who came to pray.

the single constant.

It is only when you're in a swirl of unknowns that you look for a constant.

I have looked, and I have found only one.

This constant gives sense to everything.

The Constant in the midst of unknowns.

Can I give You this new name?


Ya, Tuhanku.
Anak-Mu masih percaya.

Mujizat itu nyata.

The song from Camp Cameron 2010 that made me think, doubt, cry, smile, praise, frown, and worship. It was with me for the three weeks of camp and the 13 days afterward.

Tiada batas kuasa-Mu, Tuhan

Semua dapat Kau lakukan

Apa yang kelihatan mustahil bagiku

Itu sangat mungkin bagi-Mu

Disaatku tak berdaya

Kuasa-Mu yang sempurna

Ketika ku percaya

Mujizat itu nyata

Bukan karna kekuatan

Namun roh-Mu, ya Tuhan

Ketika ku berdoa

Mujizat itu nyata.

There're no limits to Your power, O God

You can do everything

That which seems impossible to me

Is all too possible for You.

When I am weak

Your power is perfect

When I believe

Miracles happen

Not by strength

But by Your spirit, O God

When I pray

Miracles happen.

[English translation]

It's when you truly need a miracle that you find yourself asking if miracles can happen.

All my life, I never doubted God, always believed He knew best.

One thing I learned in camp was to doubt.

But in doubting, I also learned to truly believe.

Anak-Mu menantikan mujizat-Mu, Tuhan.

Why we try.

You were born into this family without you saying you wanted to, and you're stuck with it.

You should try to resolve whatever issues you have with your family for that reason alone.

If you don't, it's okay. Like Gramps Michael said: You won't go to hell. You'll just go through hell.

The bottom-line is:

You're stuck with your family. Period.

But you choose your spouse. 

You fell in love somehow, then you decided to get married. 

To love or not to love - we say that is the question. Because with your spouse, you made a choice.

I was thinking about this the other day, and I wondered why God stuck with us.

To love or not to love - that should have been the question for Him too. Because He had a choice. Because He chose us, and we messed up. 

What is man that You are mindful of him,
the son of man that You care for him? 

Psalm 8:4, New International Version

Why do you bother with us?
Why take a second look our way?  

Psalm 8:4, The Message

I like the Psalms. I think they're very realistic. Those were good questions, don't you think?

I look around and I see the frailty of man. Four people have told me I'm a cynical person. What is cynical? My English teacher answered, "As if having lost all hope in mankind."

Someone asked me what I would do to save the world, and I answered: "The world cannot be saved."

When I said that, I suppose I was telling God that He was a fool to bother with us. In an age where couples split when they think they don't love each other anymore, or when the other messes up, I suppose I did think He was a fool.

I told Grandma EP yesterday, and she said, "You should've said, 'the world is already saved'." 

When she said that, it was like God saying, "Yeah, I'm a fool, the greatest fool that ever lived. But I stuck with My decision to hold onto mankind, and now you're stuck with Me."

I continue to observe men and women around me fall everyday. Many times, I am one of them.

But the bottom-line is:

When all else falls away,
there is One who would rather be a fool,
than to let me go.
And it ain't a fool's dream to think that.

one thing.

One thing I miss about Camp Cameron is not having to decide between a short nap and completing chores.

I miss compulsory siesta.

Ah.