lesson #1.

"Mind over matter" means,

if you don't mind,

it doesn't matter.

-Uncle TP-

I'm sure that's not what "mind over matter" means.

But Uncle TP's definitions are quite spot-on sometimes.

In the past month, I think I've learned to shrug off things that don't really matter.

For example, if I'm hearing the same question the third time, I smile and repeat the same answer the third time, and tell myself that it's just deja vu.

Or if someone tells me I did something which I'm absolutely sure I didn't do, and it really doesn't matter if that person believes it or not, I smile and shrug. 

But learning to shrug off things that don't really matter also means that I've learned not to shrug off things that really matter.

For example, if someone says something that is totally against what he or she should believe, it usually means that there is a statement beneath the statement, and I shouldn't dismiss it as an annoying start to an annoying argument.

Of if someone asks a question that he or she should definitely have known the answer to, it usually means that there is a question beneath the question, and I shouldn't dismiss it as pure ignorance.

All in all, I think people behave the way they do for a reason. While it's true that sometimes people simply want attention, I think a lot of the time, people are holding the door wide open for someone to come in. And a simple decision to not roll my eyes or to wave my hand dismissively can be the difference between a meaningful conversation and a general one.

I would think that deep inside, everybody wants to have meaningful conversations. 

No, opinions don't count. 

Disagreements and "views" don't really count either.

You can get all of that in a court of law. and i tell you that they're not always enjoyable.

A meaningful conversation is one that makes you prop your right elbow against the inner part of your car door and put your index finger to that part of your chin just below your lower lip as you drive away from that conversation. 

It's what makes you think twice, or at least pause, before you tell anyone else about that conversation, because it meant something to you.

It often brings back memories of the past, and questions about the future, because meaning is attached to who we are and who we want to become.

It's not easy to have a meaningful conversation with someone,

but it's a skill worth learning.

I think I need to learn to listen.