Six days away – the first four.

The good and bad in life leave something in us, but they also take something out of us.

Sometimes God brings people into our lives.

Sometimes He takes them away.

But life goes on.

Who you are in the last chapters of your life is shaped by what happens in the first chapters of your life.

Maybe you feel that God is very silent in your life. Maybe you asked Him for answers and He isn’t answering. Maybe you don’t feel like anything’s happening in your life. Maybe you think life is too… ordinary.

Maybe it’s time to take a second look at that burning bush.

Maybe in the ordinary course of your life, there’s something special God wants you to look at. Not always something for you, but something for blessing others.

And sometimes… there are things that we need to give up.

Sometimes it’s when we’re quiet that we hear our heart.

Sometimes it isn’t easy to capture who you are because you’re too focused on other things.

Sometimes you manage to capture yourself, but… is that really you?

Time is a gift.

Sometimes time flies. Sometimes it stops. When it does, maybe it is a time for our inner being to catch up with our physical being:

“Hey. We’re finally… free!”

The Place of Stop.

i named my year, “First Adult Steps”.

in the last chapters of my life, will i be the true measure of the woman i am meant to be?

ah, i do struggle.

but i have help.

and, He did say,

“I will be with you”

“My rod and My staff will comfort you.”

- Psalm 23:4.

and.

yup.

camp.

was definitely good.

smiles. =)

it's not easy...

...to be me.

but i suppose it's easier to be me than you.

poor you, then.


um, sudden randomness which came out of nowhere.
i don't know who i'm talking to aso.

19-21 Nov 09 | PKV Camp preparations

21 Nov 09 | Vox article on Law Career Convention 2009

22 Nov 09 | Church + Colin's Wedding!

23-26 Nov 09 | PKV Camp @ Lutheran Centre, PD

26-28 Nov 09 | PKV Leaders' Training Retreat @ Bukit Tinggi

28 Nov 09 | Meet Dr. Gan for Moots

29 Nov 09 | Church + Balik Mlc + Try to think about Moots, Admin & Consti Assignment =P

7 Dec 09 | Register courses.

14-17 Dec 09 | MGC Camp09 Me vs Myself: Zero to Hero

Er... __ -__ Dec 09 | Er. Hahaha, hahaha, and hahaha again.

21-24 Dec 09 | My first (eh is it the first?) (definitely last) family holiday for 2009.

26 Dec 09 | MGC Christmas Bash! Doing something special again this year. ^_^

28 Dec 09 | Back to UM. =(

Jan 09 (paiseh, forgot the date) | Hand in Consti assignment.

...and beyond that i cannot remember anything d.

i can only remember slightly more than one month's schedule, and that's normal ok. bah.

the law faculty is the only one giving out assignments during sem breaks. cuz of our one-year-long syllabus. bah again.

ceh. i don't care. i said i love the smell of the holidays, and i will behave like i do. so there!


later nie regret. =P

talking to myself, i realized:

it’s about the fun, right?

isn’t that why we’re doing this?

isn’t that why i suggested it?

if i get stressed over it, worry about it, plan every little detail till everyone else gets uneasy,

it’s not fun anymore, is it?

no, i didn’t upset anybody. i didn’t get upset at anybody either.

i just felt the stress creep in a little a moment ago due to the fatigue.

dad once said,

maybe we’ve all heard God speak to us. the reason why we don’t think so, is because He speaks to us in the voice most familiar to us – our own.

it’s for the fun. that’s why it’s called fun nite. ^_^

thank You, Lord, for the little voice.

oh, and i just received more news of work.

ah well, since i’m on a roll, let’s just get it done in one day.

*turns on midnight oil lamp*

 

swee kit was right. remembering why, helps.

i watched The Secret by Jay Chou.

and then suddenly i could play So Close by Jon Mclaughlin, which I couldn't play before, because of the sharps and flats.

i think my mind has a... uh... mind of its own.

how strange is that?

***

on another note.

i'm doing the things i love.

eh?

or am i loving the things i do?

somedays, i feel like smiling the whole day.

which is easy, because i have bunny teeth.

bleh.

Time.

 

my hokkien isn’t improving.

lim tse hwei. buck up.

whisper.

because it's The Pain again.

but still. i...

never mind. what's the point?

finish the sentence.

i don't want to think about it.

anyway.

i had a sudden inspiration for valentine's day in mgc.

see if still ada steam by january anot la.

going off before chelsea says it a second time.

say what?

tu, that one.

"yer. computer addiction disorder."

buhbye.

again and again and again and again.

finished Conflict of Laws paper.

"Talk to me, please."

"I am talking to you. I’ve been talking to you. Haven't you heard a word?"

"Sigh. I didn't understand."

...

"Can I do things my own way?"

"Do you know how to do things your own way?"

"...K. Maybe not."

"Then go back to listening."

***

aside from that,
i have finished my final paper. hee. the first question went like this:

 

Johan's Johns (JJ) is a Malaysian company selling toilet bowls.
They are a very successful company and they export 80% of their
unique rainbow coloured toilet bowls. Last year JJ entered a contract
with Louis' Loos (LL)...

 

ahaha.

trust azmi to come up with something like that. it was a happy paper. ^_^

and.

guess what?

yup, that was the piece of paper that used to hold this:

 

hee.

oh, but some people are still studying for a certain environmental law paper.

 

ya, ya, must protect the environment. ^_^

must i choose?

i think there may have been three options all along.

two was hard enough.

with three, i may just wish the world ends after i decide.

i know God gave me a brain and a heart for good reasons.

but i wish He'd left instructions on what to do when they don't agree.


how come nobody else needs to choose? =(

a few things.

#1 mgc youth are going to the planetarium at mitc this Sat. =( takperlah. when love someone, must let them go. (literally =P) uh…

#2 mgc youth are going to have pizza for lunch with FUHREEEEE pizza vouchers from Uncle Rod. =( k, getting harder and harder to love and let go etc.

#3 camp t-shirts are out! woohoo!!!!

me likey. hee. (what size is that btw? looks small. *shakes flabs*)

all this from the blog.

=D

i came across a piece of paper from english class**.

Me

This is a boring class. =(

Amreeta

Ya, your paper’s empty.

_______________________________

Ms Gill

How often do you use the dictionary?

Chelsea (paiseh, no other appropriate picture)

Once in a blue moon.

Ms Gill (*heart attack incoming*)

And how often does the blue moon come out?

Me & Amreeta

Never. =P

_______________________________

*talking about how some people are so poor and still have to maintain their many children*

Amreeta

If they can’t sara their anak, they shouldn’t be so horny right.

_______________________________

*explaining what ‘economical’ means*

Ms Gill

What’s the cheapest way to get to Penang?

Chelsea

Walk.

*heart attack*

_______________________________

Ms Gill

…And so these people become a stigma in society. Do you know what a ‘stigma’ is?

Chelsea

Tuuuu, that one. The flower wan.

*heart attack*

_______________________________

*article: “child labour is omnipresent.”*

Chelsea

Miss, Miss, what is ‘omnipresent’?

Ms Gill

Well, it’s usually something to do with God--

Amreeta

So… child labour is godly.

*heart attack*

_______________________________

Amreeta

*looks at my paper* It’s filling up.

Me

Yup. =)

**My first English class for Year 2. ^_^

i.

 

Have you ever talked to God above?

Tell Him that you need …

 

that song struck me today in church.

 

why is it that everything i thought WAS, now ISN’T?

when did life stop being simple?

hopelessly lost. again.

maybe chee kean was right.

maybe there’s some evil spirit in me that’s causing me to get lost all the time.

 

Have you ever talked to God above?

Tell Him that you need …

 

searching for where i can help where i’m needed?

i’m in need.

help.

there. i said it.

and then i see a strong soul.

one who works hard, and still manages to love hard.

and then i'm comforted, and rebuked.

Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—
all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal
and all whose mouths have not kissed him."

1 kings 19:18

how vain we become when we think we're the only ones left.

i'm the only one doing this.
i'm the only one who cares.
i'm the only one left.
i.
i.
i.
and who were we talking about again?
oh ya, You. God.
sorry, digressed.


on another note, i've been looking through old photos, and i must say,

i miss everyone so much.

aaron, adrian ong, audrey, auntie shirley, beng hui, carina, chen li, chor yeow, ck, daniel, derk, ei ein, el sen, gary, geng yi, jaslyn, jeremy, julie, jun yi lau, kai yin, kevin, li lian, lin, livia, marcus, mark, matthew, stephen, ray sim, rebecca, sharonne, sherene, shin shin, sin lan, sin yee, ta shinn, tee jhin, tim, uncle david, uncle ivan, yen, zheng...

i miss everyone so bad it hurts.

seriously. it hurts. my heart aches for everything to be back to what it was. but the Lord says scatter, and scatter we must.

but still. give me some space to grieve. uh...

marcus, jerm, livia, uncle ivan, hurry up and come home already!

T_T

newsflash: marcus is flying from NZ on 16 nov! (followed by the other cheezers later) =D

sometimes i feel like i just don't know anymore.

just what i needed.

one,

"it's easy to lead when you're strong.
now is where we need you to lead!"


two,

" 'See, I have set before you an open door, and no one can shut it.' "

can you believe that i never knew about that verse in Revelation 3:8? you know how people always say, "when the door shuts, look for the window" or "i'm waiting for the door to open" or "i'm looking for an open door"?

why do people always quote the start of the sentence and not the end of it?

no, we do not believe simply in fate, or in a God that manipulates us like chess pieces.

if by fate, we were intended to enter that door,
if by His will, we would never look at another door,

He wouldn't hold it open.

hold it open that no one can shut it.

oh, He has plans. plans so important that He wants us to want them.


three,

when brock crawled a hundred yards of the field with a 160-pound man on his back. when we say we give our best, what yardstick do we use to measure our promises? it's amazing what one can do with the heart of the blind and the eyes of faith.

four,

"and i saw...
a field of giants fall."

i loved it. i absolutely loved it.
and i still so love watching american football.
'nuff said.