disappointment.

I thought that the events of the past few days would have helped me be joyful no matter the circumstances. 

But today I found myself utterly disappointed. 

I know my expectations were too high and unreasonable. 

But I'm still disappointed. 

I'd really believed with all my heart that that person would rise about pursuit of ambition. 

=(

I'm still learning not to expect everything of everybody.

Lord of humility, 

meekness and majesty, 

teach me.

mighty to save!

Two months ago, I witnessed two people surrender their infant daughter and their grief to God. 

God chose not to save then.

But still they blessed their Lord and refused to mock Him. 

Their testimony moved me greatly and made me see forgiveness in a new light. 

I had never seen forgiveness displayed in that manner in people so close to me. 

Two months later, I once again witnessed a life completely surrendered to God. 

When she finally understood God's will for her, it was okay even if it meant she couldn't what she wanted.

Even when she was told that she needed to remove one ovary and one fallopian tube, she chose to rejoice and bless His name. 

This very day, God chose to save.

Five doctors who examined her at five different times had managed to commit an "error". It wasn't a cyst. It was a ruptured appendicitis.

My God is mighty to save!

Two incidents of total and complete surrender to the Lord, and He chose to work in different ways as it seemed best to Him. 

That just made me cry out as I drove back to the office, 

"Father, I surrender, 

I surrender to You!"

What if His People Prayed

"What if the armies of the Lord

Picked up and dusted off their swords

Vowed to set the captives free

And not let Satan have one more?"

"What If His People Prayed" by Casting Crowns.

I consider it the great failure of the Church that we have not lost one, but two more. 

The Church includes me.

"Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender

Without losing all control?

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, 

Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end

And we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences - 

The God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His?

Or are we caught in the middle?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me."

"Somewhere in the Middle" by Casting Crowns

We take these caught-in-the-middle feelings too lightly. 

We have underestimated the enemy.

People don't fall in a day.

"Lord, I feel you in this place

And I know you're by my side

Loving me even on these nights

When I'm caught in the middle."

Father, help them pray this prayer,

even on these nights, 

when they're caught in the middle.