The worst kind of lonely.

Picture taken from https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/isolating-the-costs-of-loneliness

Pride and Prejudice.

When I was a secondary school student, my English teacher asked me to answer a question from the textbook. 

I did. 

My answer was correct. 

But she suddenly went on a tirade, saying that my answer was wrong, lecturing me in front of everyone and saying that I was always proud.

It was a really long tirade. 

Thankfully, for the health of my soul, I only remember the part where she said I was always proud. But I remember the gist of her lecture, which was that I was too proud and therefore made the very mistake I didn't think I would ever make. 

I also remember what I felt was the purpose of her lecture, which I suppose was to "put me in my place" for being proud. And apparently, the only way to effectively humble me was to do it in public. Because nothing breeds humility more than public humiliation. 

I also remember what I felt at that point (ok, not really at that point, because I used to be a blur sotong and sarcasm and its brothers would usually fly over my head at the material point of time and only come back to haunt me later in the day as I thought a little more about it) - the feeling of being wronged, wrongfully accused and betrayed. 

After her tirade, she moved on to ask the next person to answer the next question, then realized that my answer had been correct after all - she had actually read the wrong question. 

So I was - supposedly - vindicated. 

A friend behind me blurted out, "Teacher, you wrongly accused her."

The teacher ignored her and went on to the next question. 

I think that incident has stayed with me for a long time, partly because I'm a words person, and words that deeply hurt me are difficult to forget. I remember them and more crucially, the host of feelings that come with those words as if they were spoken yesterday. 

Recounting this incident because of something which recently happened and triggered this memory. 

I suppose this would most definitely count as something to deal with in counseling class.

Also, teachers, parents, leaders, friends, colleagues - be careful what you say to other people. Your words may have a greater impact than you think. 

Applicable to self also.

Let there be less pride and prejudice, 

and more humility and grace. 

pieces of me.

It's just one of those days when you have 50 things on your to-do list but everyone is on your tail like their case is the only one you're working on.

I am reminded of the parable of the unforgiving servant in times like these - when my boss does not berate me for a mistake I made, but assists me as much as he can instead. Makes me stand back and re-evaluate how harsh I have been on my students in comparison to his response to my mistakes. 

Instead of taking over what I perceive to be my boss' role of berating myself when I have erred, I'm taking a few minutes to recap what I have learned today:-

#1 - Maintain the same level of efficiency in lull periods as in busy periods so that I don't have to drastically increase my level of efficiency during busy periods. 

#2 - Get enough sleep so that my mind can function at its optimum level instead of being the dull thing it is right now. I can get more work done that way.

#3 - While I cannot control when my clients decide to call me or check on their files (which, like today, means they decided to call almost all at once), I can control how I respond to it.

#4 - There are people who are willing to help me and I do not have to bear everything on my own. My colleagues are awesome and I thank God for them.

#5 - I will get more done when I'm in a better mood. Being unkind and unfriendly to other people does not lead to a good mood in any way. Therefore, smiles, thank-you's, and hold-on-ya's work better for this goal than frowns, curt no's, and I'm-busy-go-away's.

Listen to the lawyer.

What is a subpoena?

A subpoena is a legal document issued by the court (though prepared by a lawyer) with the court's seal, ordering a witness to attend court on such and such a date to testify or produce documents on behalf of the party who requested for the issuance of the subpoena. 

Because it is issued by the court:-

(a) non-compliance with a subpoena amounts to contempt of court; and

(b) evasion of a subpoena (where successfully proved) amounts to contempt of court.

Why are subpoenas issued / necessary?

Under the laws of evidence, a party who makes an allegation has the burden to prove it, that is, by producing documents or calling witnesses to provide oral testimony. 

The general rule is that the maker of a particular document must attend court to prove the authenticity and the contents of the document, unless both parties agree to dispense with such proof.

(Maker of a document = the person who wrote / signed / prepared the document)

Hence, the bundle of documents filed in court is to be categorized as follows:-

(a) Part A - both parties agree that the document is real and agree with its contents;

(b) Part B - both parties agree that the document is real but someone disagrees with its contents; and

(c) Part C - someone says the document is fake and disagrees with its contents.

Subpoena witnesses are usually formal witnesses, for example, a bank officer to testify that a bank account statement is authentic, because it was disputed by the other party for who knows what reason. 

Some subpoena witnesses are essential witnesses who can testify concerning a material (important) fact, for example, the Plaintiff says in his pleadings or during trial that Person A was there when the Defendant caused the accident and can prove that he's telling the truth. Person A has to be called to corroborate the Plaintiff's allegation, otherwise it is only a bare allegation without substance. Under the Evidence Act, the Defendant can ask the court to presume that the Plaintiff is hiding something by failing to call Person A despite being able to do so (that's a whole other topic to discuss). 

Subpoena witnesses usually have nothing to do with the case, in that they are not personally liable for anything. If they were personally liable, they would have been made a co-Defendant or a third party to the case. So they actually have nothing to lose from attending court. Especially since the law requires the party who subpoenaed the witness to give the witness "reasonable allowance" for attending court.

What I'm trying to say is - don't bash the lawyer for requesting for the subpoena. He's just trying to do his job under the law, and not trying to "trouble" or "disturb" you, or "make your life difficult".

When is a subpoena served?

When a lawyer hands you a subpoena, lets you read it, or explains its contents to you - all the while being in arm's reach of you - it's complete service on you even if you don't sign it or take it with you. The lawyer should explain this to you after you refuse to sign / take it. So listen carefully.

What do I do after I've been served with a subpoena?

Attend court. Consult a lawyer if you must, but if that lawyer you consulted is worth their salt, they'll tell you to comply with the subpoena. Non-compliance with a subpoena entitles the lawyer to immediately apply for a warrant of arrest to be issued against you on the very day you fail to turn up in court. 

If, for some reason, the lawyer is unable to put you on the stand on the day of trial and the matter is postponed to another date, the lawyer will write to you to inform you of the next trial date. It's his duty to do it.

Don't accuse the lawyer of forcing you to attend court, because:-

(a) the subpoena is a court order, not a lawyer's order;

(b) shouting won't magically excuse you from attending court; 

(c) you are entitled to challenge the subpoena in court if it really has nothing to do with you; and

(d) you're not attending court for nothing - under the law, the party who called you has to reimburse you for expenses incurred.

Please note that you are required to attend court from the date mentioned in the subpoena until you finish your testimony. The lawyer usually tries to make the best arrangements for all witnesses so that you don't have to come to court unnecessarily (read: wait a whole day only to be told the case is postponed). 

Why? Because then they'll have to pay you more, and trust me - they don't want to do that.

What happens in court?

The lawyer who requested your presence will ask you questions in what we call the "Examination-in-Chief". 

The opposing lawyer will then ask you questions in what we call the "Cross-Examination". During this stage, things may or may not get a little uncomfortable, because the opposing lawyer is basically trying to disprove everything you just said. 

The first lawyer will then ask you some clarifying questions in what we call the "Re-Examination" if necessary, that is, if you said something inaccurate or which requires clarification during the Cross-Examination. 

Then you go home and receive your allowance. 

Why am I saying all this?

Because I'm sick and tired of people who refuse to listen when I try to explain these things to them ("Nothing to do with me, I don't want to hear it"), and then get angry and complain ("you're doing this to disturb me"), when all I've done is send them a letter informing them of then next trial date (as required under the law). 

Seriously, people. 

Listen to the lawyer. 

If you're cooperative (read: not red-faced, shouting, or making false accusations), you guys can be best friends.

Plus, why are you running away from the subpoena? Have something to hide?

Just sayin'.

Seeing People and Not Their Reactions

Esmond and I signed up for a counseling course this year under the Satir model of counseling. 

The special thing about this model is that instead of dealing with people's reactions or behaviour, we learn to see what is underneath the behaviour (the symptoms) and deal with their sense of self, yearnings, expectations, perceptions, feelings (the cause).

What I really appreciate from the course so far is learning how to accept my feelings instead of resisting them. 

Most people know I'm a crybaby. I cry at every movie; I cry when someone else cries. 

Most people also know that I'm a stickler for protocol and procedure. There are certain things we should do; there are certain things we shouldn't do. Almost everything is a matter of can or cannot, should or should not. 

That includes feelings. 

I should not feel angry. 

I should not feel upset. 

A child should do this, a parent should do that, a student should think this, a teacher should think that.

Vulcanism, yet completely un-Vulcan, in that I thought I should not feel certain things, yet I could not stop feeling them.

I have been re-watching the Star Trek movies. Hee!

It was frustrating to feel sad or hurt, because those emotions often turned into anger or guilt, when I felt trapped by my own rules. 

This course taught me that there is a difference between accepting my feelings, and responding negatively to them. 

I can accept without liking. 

I can accept without responding negatively. 

I can accept, and thereafter move on.

Applying what I learned to people around me, I saw first-hand the difference it made when I told people to accept what they were feeling and stay with it, than when I had hurried to calm them with a box of tissue or what I thought were logical or comforting words.

Shortly after we signed up for the counseling course, our church began a church-wide course called Freedom in Christ Discipleship Course by Steve Goss and Neil Anderson. The course shows us how a lot of Christians are living in bondage or not living the victorious Christian lives the Bible promised. 

The premise of the course is "the truth will set you free".

(a) Christ has already set us free by His work on the cross and His resurrection. 

(b) By His work on the cross, Christ gave us the gift of complete and utter acceptance (we are completely accepted as God's children), significance (we were created to do good works which He prepared in advance for us to do) and security (nothing can separate us from His love).

(c) However, humans being humans, we forgot. 

(d) Or we didn't understand. 

(e) Or we didn't know the truth.

(f) Therefore, we continue to behave in unhealthy ways in our quest to gain acceptance, significance and security from other people or things, or even God.

(g) Feelings are important. Because without laying everything on the table and being vulnerable, we cannot truly forgive, and we cannot truly deal with an issue that has been affecting us.

(h) We can't control our feelings, but we can control the thoughts that lead to those feelings. We choose to land our thoughts or ditch them. 

(i) Forgiveness is a choice we make, not an emotion. Likewise, getting out of a life of sin is a choice we make, because Christ has given us everything we need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3).

(j) By the grace of God which He has already freely given us, will we make the choice to be free?

For the first time, I learned to truly forgive. 

Because I could pray, "Father, I choose to forgive (name of person) for (name the act) which made me feel (state feelings). I pray that You will bless (name of person)."

Not, "Father, help me forgive", or "Father, I want to forgive", but "Father, I choose to forgive."

I have also had the privilege of putting my counseling training (although halfway only la) to good use. 

Picture taken from here.
Although this song is about marriage teehee.

I guess the most liberating and eye-opening thing for me this year is that I learned to strike a balance between condoning someone's behaviour by sympathizing with them, and accepting someone's behaviour as a fact without having to like that behaviour.

I can accept that people behave a certain way without having to say they should or should not, can or cannot behave that way. Because I cannot change people, but I am in complete control of how I respond to them.

It's amazing how many people's perception and expectations, and thus behaviour stem from a broken point in their early years.

Knowing this, seeing this, understanding this... how can I not love them with the love of Christ?

How Christ must have loved all those who hated Him - this God who sees the hearts and minds of man!

bread and butter.

Some people sacrifice the very thing that puts bread on the table just so they can show the world they have something to bring to the table. 

They forget that without that bread and butter, they won't be in that position to do such frivolous things. 

Ironic.

series of bad decisions.

Have you ever felt like you've been making a series of bad decisions?

E.g. going "aiyahhh" after you end a call with someone, or "aiyohhh" in the car after you decide to leave Place A for Place B?

I feel like I've been making a series of bad decisions, or at least less-than-ideal decisions.

Went "aiyahhh" after getting off the phone with another lawyer twice today.

Sometimes I ask myself, "When will this learning end?"

I want to be a real professional, a problem-solver, someone who feels like she makes the right decisions all the time.

We talked about this last Friday at Young Adults CG - about what it must have been like for Adam and Eve before the Fall. 

They were completely secure - they knew what they had been created for, no scrambling around in the dark trying to discover their purpose in life.

They were certainly significant - they knew what they meant to God, and they knew what God meant to them. No need to try to be somebody or something in life, because they were already everything to God and to each other.

They were utterly accepted - no need to try to gain anybody's acceptance because they were already accepted by God and each other.

No need to "learn from mistakes" or "grow in character", because God provided all that they needed and assured them of all that they were.

We lost everything after the Fall. We became creatures constantly seeking a sense of security, significance, acceptance. 

Look at your own life, and you'll know it's true. 

Only in Christ can we find true freedom, because only in Christ is everything restored. 

I am secure - I cannot be separated from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39). I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18).

I am significant - I am God’s workmanship, created for good works (Ephesians 2:10). I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! (Philippians 4:13)

I am accepted - I am God’s child (John 1:12). I am Christ’s friend (John 15:15).

I am 
COMPLETE 
in Christ. 
(Colossians 2:10)

absence of courtesy and common sense.

What People Think I Do

Me: "Hi. Can I speak to the lawyer in charge of (ref number), please?"

X: "Ok, please hold on."

What I Actually Do

Me: "Hi. Can I speak to the lawyer in charge of (ref number), please?"

X: "Oh, this case eh. What is it about?"

Me: "I need to clarify certain things about the Draft Index of the Bundle of Documents."

X: "Ok, when do you want the Draft Index?"

Me: "I already have the Draft Index. I need to clarify certain items in the Draft."

X: "Ok, what do you want to clarify?"

Me: "I have certain things I need to clarify with the lawyer in charge. Please pass the call to the lawyer."

X: "Oh, the lawyer in charge is on leave."

What X did that was so utterly wrong

1. Zero courtesy. 

As a matter of courtesy, a lawyer attends to another lawyer at the earliest opportunity. If you're not a lawyer, and a lawyer on the other end of the line specifically asks for a lawyer, you either pass the call to one or tell them that lawyer is unavailable as soon as possible. 

2. Zero sense of responsibility. 

If you are a clerk / pupil / student, and even if you know about the file, ask yourself:-

(a) If you misrepresent the lawyer in charge, and I act on that misrepresentation, who takes the fall? You or the lawyer?

(b) Whose client is it? Yours or the lawyer's?

(c) Who will the client sue for misrepresentation and negligence? You or the lawyer?

3. Zero common sense.  

A person calls (A), and asks for Y. 

X answers the call and insists on answering queries A specifically said were meant for Y.

X realizes at the end of the day that X cannot answer A's queries and says X will ask another lawyer about it and get the lawyer to call me back.

W-A-S-T-I-N-G-T-I-M-E.

NO.

A very wise man once told me:

"We work our best people to the point of inefficiency. That's human nature."

I will say "NO" this year. 

Not to my Master, but to people. 

Yes, I believe that we do all things as unto our Lord. 

But I also believe that not everything is for the kingdom. 

Joining every single committee in and outside church isn't necessarily for the kingdom. 

Saying yes to every single task given to me in and outside church isn't necessarily for the kingdom. 

Doing every single thing just because I think nobody else will isn't necessarily for the kingdom.

The kingdom's work is what I have been called to do. 

And I will say "NO" this year so that I can find my focus and rediscover my calling. 

I will say "NO" this year so that I can truly say "YES" to my Master.

in a perfect world.

In a perfect world, Lily can sit in a quiet room and peacefully put together a draft index of a bundle of documents to be sent to Lily's opponent. Logically, this can be done within an hour at most.

In reality however, 

- Lily finds out that she has to first draft an application supported by an affidavit by her client to compel certain third parties to produce a document in court before the said draft index can be finalized;

- Lily then finds out that she has to first call the third party to find out whether the file is still in Melaka; 

- Lily is then told that the file is thankfully still in Melaka, but the officer in charge of the file is out of town until next week;

- Lily then begins drafting the affidavit and hopes that the client who has to sign the affidavit will be in Melaka and not Johor when it is done, because Lily will then have to waste time sending documents by courier;

- Lily is then interrupted by a clerk who wants to look for a file that was closed 2 years ago; 

- Lily goes into a separate room where there are 3 high stacks of files while the clerk goes into a smaller room with a smaller stack of files to look for the said file; 

- Lily is then almost drowned by one of the stacks of files that comes crashing down when she tries to pull a file out of it; 

- Lily is not surprised to find that the file isn't there;

- Lily then has to create a separate stack of files for the files that have come crashing down; 

- Lily then goes back to the smaller room and finds the file right there in the room and gives it to the clerk who had allegedly searched the room prior to Lily finding it;

- Lily then goes back to work, with a gazillion other things at the back of her mind because she's involved with so many other things not related to work, all of which are due this week as well; and

- Lily is then interrupted by a phone call.

At the moment, Lily thinks that she will react with utmost disdain to anyone who says that lawyers charge too much for their "simple" work and that a law degree is a "lightweight" degree. 

I feel better somehow, 

Talking about myself like these things are happening to someone else and not me.

Wonder if that's why we can read and pray about persecution 

but still live like there isn't any.

Wonder if we can draw that sort of parallel.

I am so sick and tired of interruptions. 

I need that tin can Doraemon gave Nobita to work in when he wanted to be a comic artist!

disappointment.

I thought that the events of the past few days would have helped me be joyful no matter the circumstances. 

But today I found myself utterly disappointed. 

I know my expectations were too high and unreasonable. 

But I'm still disappointed. 

I'd really believed with all my heart that that person would rise about pursuit of ambition. 

=(

I'm still learning not to expect everything of everybody.

Lord of humility, 

meekness and majesty, 

teach me.

mighty to save!

Two months ago, I witnessed two people surrender their infant daughter and their grief to God. 

God chose not to save then.

But still they blessed their Lord and refused to mock Him. 

Their testimony moved me greatly and made me see forgiveness in a new light. 

I had never seen forgiveness displayed in that manner in people so close to me. 

Two months later, I once again witnessed a life completely surrendered to God. 

When she finally understood God's will for her, it was okay even if it meant she couldn't what she wanted.

Even when she was told that she needed to remove one ovary and one fallopian tube, she chose to rejoice and bless His name. 

This very day, God chose to save.

Five doctors who examined her at five different times had managed to commit an "error". It wasn't a cyst. It was a ruptured appendicitis.

My God is mighty to save!

Two incidents of total and complete surrender to the Lord, and He chose to work in different ways as it seemed best to Him. 

That just made me cry out as I drove back to the office, 

"Father, I surrender, 

I surrender to You!"

What if His People Prayed

"What if the armies of the Lord

Picked up and dusted off their swords

Vowed to set the captives free

And not let Satan have one more?"

"What If His People Prayed" by Casting Crowns.

I consider it the great failure of the Church that we have not lost one, but two more. 

The Church includes me.

"Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me.

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender

Without losing all control?

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, 

Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end

And we are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences - 

The God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for His?

Or are we caught in the middle?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle, you'll find me."

"Somewhere in the Middle" by Casting Crowns

We take these caught-in-the-middle feelings too lightly. 

We have underestimated the enemy.

People don't fall in a day.

"Lord, I feel you in this place

And I know you're by my side

Loving me even on these nights

When I'm caught in the middle."

Father, help them pray this prayer,

even on these nights, 

when they're caught in the middle.

camps on working days.

I get the jitters whenever church camp draws near.

Never mind the three days of leave I have to take.

The more terrifying thing is the busyness that builds up the few days before and after camp.


A few days before 

- Trying to finish every single piece of work that nobody will be able to do in my absence. E.g. submissions for a case I handled, legal opinions for files under my care, status updates to clients and non-clients for files under my care, call clients for data to complete affidavits / witness statements / pleadings. (this means if I have until Tuesday to do it, I now only have until Saturday if I have internet to email it to someone and Friday if I have to finish it in the office)

- Trying to finish writing instructions for work that other people may be able to complete for me in my absence. E.g. standard letters to clients, follow up with clients and non-clients on necessary but non-urgent matters.

- Trying to finish telling everybody who might contact me in my absence that I will be away.

- This is the worst: Trying to draft clear and unambiguous instructions for work that other people MUST complete for me in my absence. E.g. file the submissions / Bundle of Authorities that I stayed up all night doing, put together an affidavit complete with its exhibits and file, when to expect a document from court / client, what to do upon receiving it, who to courier it to, what address, who to call on Mon/Tues/Wed, when to forward calls to me, things to do so that when I'm back, I am able to do some other thing that is contingent on the first thing being done.


A few days after

- Trying to catch up with every single piece of work that landed itself on my table in my absence. E.g. incoming matters from clients / non-clients, start drafting replies to clients

- Trying to repair every single mess that birthed itself in / because of my absence.

- Trying to review every single piece of work that I instructed someone else to do to make sure nothing has been overlooked / done wrong.

- Trying to immediately go back to completing that submissions / affidavit that is due on Friday because I've lost 4 days at camp, 3 of which were work days .


All that, assuming that I don't catch a cold or fever after travelling.

And even with that cold or fever, work still needs to be done if it was due yesterday.

Oh well.

It's my birthday.

I'm still up working for a trial i shouldn't have had to handle.

How to cope when people leave the church.

I've been alternating between conflicting feelings over the past two weeks. 

At first I felt indifferent and slightly upset. 

Then I began to get angrier and angrier.

Then the anger subsided for awhile and I thought I should try to see how I could help this person.

Then I got angry again. 

Then I blamed myself for what happened.

Then I got angrier, thinking that it was ridiculous to blame myself for what happened.

Then I began to think: What did I miss? How could I not see it? I failed.

Then I got angry again, this time because lashing out on the person might cause the person to backslide. I felt trapped, with no means to let these feelings run free.

Then I googled.

I actually googled this yesterday:

"how to cope when people leave the church"

This was the third article I read. And it really helped me.

I googled because I am to meet this person on Thursday. I didn't want to go and ruin a genuine friendship and stumble somebody with my unreined anger. But I also secretly wanted to let go of this pain, by unleashing it on somebody else, because the burden of carrying it was beginning to crush me.

"It's hard to leave. It's hard being left."

These opening words were enough. I felt like someone heard me, someone understood how I felt.

"Most who leave don't make that decision lightly. 

They deal with some serious pain when they finally make the decision to go.

It's taken me a long time to hit 'publish' on today's post because, 

when I raise an issue, I like to provide solutions or alternatives. 

But I don't have a solution to this one. 

So today's post is not about answers.

It's a public recognition of our shared private pain.

With the hope that we can find some sort of solace

by knowing that we're not alone in these feelings."

And just like that... the anger melted away. The burden rolled away. The fog lifted. My eyes teared up.

By the time I came to the end of the article, I was ready for that meeting on Thursday. 

No regrets, no anger, no fear, no pain. 

It also helped me understand what that person must have been going through in making this decision to leave. 

The past few months have been tumultuous for our church. Not because anyone rocked the boat in a particularly destructive way, but because the "left behinds" of this church have endured one too many departures. 

Having someone leave because of career options is one thing. Having someone leave because they couldn't fit in seems to send the message that our church did not do enough, that we did not endure, put in, suffer enough. 

In the midst of almost breaking down just trying to balance the weekly programmes with work and other commitments (not counting the special events), this felt very uncalled for. 

How much more can we do?

I could see that question in my elder's eyes as I spoke with him over breakfast on Saturday. It saddens me that someone so energetic and charismatic is now in danger of being cynical. 

Yet, it gave me a strange comfort to know that though we were all seemingly drowning, we were all also silently acknowledging each other's burdens and struggles. But I also knew that we were all too burdened to shoulder another's burdens.

This was the writer's reply to my comment on the website:

"I am so honored that the Lord used this post, 

written from our common struggles, 

to be a help to you to face this very difficult moment.

I'll be praying for you as you approach this meeting on Thursday."

I can't pinpoint exactly why it was so comforting for me to read that article. But maybe that was it - I felt that someone who was going through the same thing, still had enough in him to shoulder this burden with me.

Brothers and sisters, this is fellowship in its truest sense.

"And let us consider 

how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds..."

Hebrews 10:24a

This fellowship is what this person will need in that new church. 

It is my duty now in my final ministering to that person, to help establish that fellowship for that person, without which no Christian can possibly survive life in ministry.

Thank You, Father, for this answer to prayer.

shouting.

i really can't stand it when people shout at me.
ruins my whole day.
aih.

How I feel after a two-hour meeting with client to prepare for trial:

Picture taken from www.ottsworld.com

of trust and irresponsibility.

sometimes not doing something you should have done and pushing it to another person does not equal trust (i.e. "I trust that person so much") but irresponsibility.

it's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

but when it happens often enough, it is safe to call it irresponsibility.

trust.

i think we abuse that word too much and don't give it the respect it deserves.

trivial.

we worry about what performance to put up for Christmas 

while our brothers and sisters in Christ are being sold as slaves by the I.S.