"Memory card: 0.0kB" =D

look, i found this lamp in midvalley.

hm. kinda reminds me of the time chelsea said something that made me laugh so loud i think the girls next door cursed me. i was talking about the disney movie Aladdin. and chelsea said:

"eh, aladdin is the genie in the teapot wan right?"
XD

sher how: "buddy, come to the 3rd floor of the law library as soon as possible."

"you can use this to scrub your body."
me (thinks): "more like scrub plate. ^_^""
thanks anyway. ahahaha.

i occasionally return from the faculty to find that chelsea had been artistically inspired in my absence.

speaking of art...

don't you think this is a little disturbing? she has a sprouted head.
ew.

candid photographers don't discriminate. no one is a stranger. correction. everyone is a stranger. you can just snap a candid shot and walk away like nothing happened. =P

she was yearning to have her picture taken. i'm sure of it.

not sure i can say the same for jackson. =P

i think food has a larger purpose than just to be eaten.

yeah, i like to play with my food. most people try not to end up eating at my table.

upacara pengebumian.
*lame*

i went through soooo much trouble to fill in 3 identical forms. the management was so efficient. they got my toilet hooks (as i call them) up in just a few days.

and still people don't use them! what's wrong with you people! gah!

i'm a tea person.

=)

i grinned like a doofus at the music showcase.

grins are contagious. =D

4 birthday thingies.

had another birthday thingy with the pkv-ians yesterday. i blew a flag, kissed some ice-cream, and sat on a cow. neh, nothing much happened.

the theme for the past few days have been, "tse hwei, what are you thinking?"

honestly, i have no idea what i think about. my mind pretty much looks like this most of the time:

er no, i'm not a dim-witted bimbo. owh. is that where they get the term 'dim-wit'?

come, since i'm the master of theories, let me deduce a theory that explains why i spend most of my time thinking of black squares but still have good stuff to write on my blog.

you know how we can have music play in the background and still study?
have you ever absent-mindedly rhythmically tapped your thumbnail with your middle finger, and then realize a few minutes later that it was a song you were tapping?

my theory.

it's odd how we can casually say that we have dreams because our subconscious mind works even when our conscious mind is asleep, but forget that it works even when our conscious mind isn't asleep.

even with the black square in my head, i see hyma prance and dance on the pavement, i watch ruth go from one person to another with her stories, i hear george and his random songs, and the quiet sound of my bathroom slippers what's wrong with wearing bathroom slippers out of the bathroom? ceh. k la. my real slippers rosak d. =( when they touch the ground.

my conscious mind doesn't sleep. i just swap it for a bit of subconsciousness is all.

maybe that's why it's like i'm there, and not there, when i'm with people. maybe that's why i'm like a different person when i'm on msn, sms, and in my writings. i appreciate every moment spent with every person, but i can't contribute very much to conversations. because i'm contented with knowing that the subconscious mind can hold so much more than the conscious mind.

yalah. i know it's bad la. ish.

don't think the interviewer will buy this theory when i stare at him wordlessly for 15 minutes.

oh ya. thanks for the cow. (kee aun and poay ling)

to hyma: my lips aren't that red. it's the webcam's settings. ahaha.

metrosexuals catwalk in UM.

...once upon a TITAS presentation. =)


oh ya. there's also the volunteer.



(jason chin naik harga? XD)

i'm 21. =) + =( + ?_? + ^_^"

rachel: "eh tell the ppl doing the surprise birthday party for you that I want In ok? hehe."
me: "er. if it's a surprise then i won't know about it. ahahahaha."

actually i knew.

it was expected. because the first-year law-ians - bless them - have been having birthday 'surprises' for birthday people for almost a year now.

but still. have to pretend dunno la. so funny. hee.


1. MLS lecture

louis: "tse hwei, your birthday tomorrow right?"
me: "ya."
"we're not celebrating for you. everybody very busy today. tomorrow also busy. the whole year busy la!"
"ooooookay."


2. B118

chelsea: *phone rings for the umpteenth time*
me: "where's zhen qi?"
chelsea: "............................................. hilang d! we very busy wannnnnn. haiyoh the entire day i so busy, i wonder why."
"ooooookay."


3. Nokia 6233

- roomies lenyap from the room d -

11.40pm

kock sin: "tse hweiiiiiiiii! i'm so hungryyyyyyyy! let's go for supperrrrrr!"

11.44pm

kock sin: "tse hweiiiiiiiii! i cannot go for supper with you d."
me: - just to put him on the spot =P - "why?"
"oh. cuz. my roommates asked me out for supper."

11.47pm

kock sin: "tse hweiiiiiiiii! my roommates don't want to go for supper d! so you come with me la!"

11.52pm

chin how: "hello, buddy. happy birthday ya. sorry i can't make it later."


lawak. i laughed all the way to 2nd college.

sms from rachel: "practice the shocked face! eyes opened wide, mouth in an O, one hand over mouth, the other, 'be stilled my beating heart!'"

the usual things happened - birthday cake, birthday card, birthday song, birthday wishes, birthday confession...

except roomies decided it would be fun to have everything in mandarin since i'm considered a banana in the chinese circle. hah. and then i had to guess everybody's chinese name. even jiradevi veerasiman's. ^_^"

plus liverpool made my card out of cardboard because she knew i like boxes. lol.

plus i tetiba had to dance salsa with my old emphasize, please dance partner and had to hear his 'confession', which he entirely celup-ed from the confessions of the previous two birthdays. =.=!

and then roomies gave me this cd of the movie which they susah-payah + penat-lelah made until 6am while i was jollying in malacca:

i am touched. although it's kinda weird to watch a clip of photos i took. yeah, liverpool stole them from my laptop while i was in english class. haha.

cliche-meliche, but i thank everyone again. i had many good laughs today and i don't really care that my contract tutorial isn't done yet. =P

oh ya. happy birthday too, andy!

sedih.

and say that with deliberation, please.

cuz i still have to transfer 400 photos 1 file at a time.

cuz my installation cd isn't working.

hah...

mua-ha-ha.

and say that with deliberation, please.

cuz i no longer have to transfer 400 photos 1 file at a time.

hah!

the patience to bluetooth 1 file at a time 22 times.

i met one of the most cina fellas in the world, i tell you. he looked cina, he talked cina, and his store was so cina. i just had to stealthily take photos to remind myself of how cina the experience was.

cina guy: "*cantonese blah blahs*"

me: "(in cantonese) i don't speak cantonese. i speak mandarin."
"*nods and smiles*" - 2 seconds - "*cantonese blah blahs*"
-_-"

"kean kang! buy my donuts!"

"bought d."
"buy rojak!"
"bought d."
"buy bubble tea!"
"bought d."
"...play the game?"
"played d."

thank you, buddy. T_T
(he was throwing the dice)

ruth: "what would we do without pkv-ians?"

rachel!
i didn't want to curi tulang so i didn't take photos of
lydia, ruth, jenn-han, kee aun, adrian, george, mun teng
...and the invisible clarence who said he would come like 4 times since 11am. -_-"

(and yes, i now know that there was no booth in front of dtc today. =P)

i'm short.

evelyn's actually taller. so instead of a straight line, it's like a marginal cost graph.

"tse hwei!!! so geliiiii!!! how can you rendam your feet in dirty water!!!"

1. the ground was flooded anyway.
2. i had to find some way to clean my muddy feet.
3. i don't believe i'm the only one who does it.
4. i'm a water person! nyeh nyeh.

law lectures are good for inspiring thoughts. (mostly takda kena-mengena with the lecture)

i saw a little boy running that flour thing through the flattening thing to make mee hoon kuey. he hollered back when his mum hollered an order at him.

i looked at my little brother in the little kenari. he was holding the steering wheel, pretending he could drive. he caught me looking at him, grinned, and waved.

today, for some reason, i remembered chor yeow and lin complaining about how they had to thrift because they couldn't afford luxuries in their home.

i remembered wondering why i still wore big white shirts with pictures of dancing dolphins in front when i could afford a - i don't know - kiki lala shirt? what. it's a brand.

and again i wondered how two of the same species could lead such different lives.

artistic aspirations on msn.

sam accidented!

k. you don't have to treat me to that bowl of shark fin soup anymore.

no dinner.

why oh why did i post those photos of FOOD?

geram-ness.

everyone should be serious in a meeting.

if you must be funny, please do be really funny.
i don't laugh at trivial jokes anymore.
i never laugh at act-cute jokes.
don't jumble up your sentences.
don't skip syllables.
speak coherently.
unnecessary hand gestures annoy me immensely.
my perfectionism and critical mind are at their peak.
i was forced out of sleep for this meeting.
can you tell?


but i still suka indo mee and spaghetti,
garlic bread dipped in mushroom soup,
and my little brother's chocolate aeroplane in the fridge.

benciness.

when i don't get to do what i adamantly want to do.

the perfect family life

(today's topic in church)

the youth team did a lawak skit first. seriously lawak. exaggerated expressions and over-british accents. XD

then uncle wee min spoke. from here on, i quote uncle wee min. er. maybe paraphrase la.

I wanted to teach John 3:16 to my children, and not just make them memorize it, but make it real to them. So I told them, "Today's Family Quiet Time will be a game." I told them to go up the stairs without touching the stairs. My son tried to scale the wall. And failed. My daughter tried to imitate her brother. And she did it well. She failed too. My youngest kid was like, "Dad, why're you doing this to us?" I smiled, and said, "There is a way to do it." Then I picked my son up, put him on my back, and carried him up the stairs.

We must be intentional and creative when we teach our children, not just give them an exegesis of the Bible and expect it to capture their hearts.

I think my children got what I was trying to teach them - the love of God, and that Jesus Christ took our sins on His shoulders in John 3:16.

For God so loved the world
That He gave His only begotten Son
That whoever believes in Him
Shall not perish
But shall have everlasting life.

John 3:16

"chester, do you want some barley?"

"no thanks. i don't like barley."

*o_O* "you don't like broccoli, you don't like cauliflower, you don't like barley???"

"ruth, you're making those things way cooler than they are."

THE best introduction ever.

"abang saufi, mesti baca dengan gaya setimpal ya."

saufi = encik ahmad saufi
= contract tutor + lecturer + assignment marker

nah.

guys from the faculty of law.

(excluding me)
venue: law library
time: when the librarians were not around. =P

(from left)
john, louis (apa gaya tu?), chong leng, kok wing a.k.a. mr questionnaire, jackson
(my eyes are blue. lol.)

kock sin tried to put some expression on my lethargic face.

"tse hweiiiii!!!! i tell you ar. this friday. i. am. going. to. eat............... PENANG LAKSA!!!!!"

"i don't like penang laksa."

"-_-! ok, then. never mind. i'm also going to eat.................. BAK CHANG!!!!!"

"sorry. don't really like bak chang also."

*edit* in the end, kock sin's face pula yang banyak expression.

say la sandwiches.
i naik giler.
but then.
nothing special about eating sandwiches on friday.
=P

my theory that supposedly explains old-age sarcasm.

jason: "my english lecturer very sarcastic wan. she'll read out our answers like this ---"

i was telling jason that some old people are so mean and sarcastic because they didn't handle whatever baggages they had when they were younger. it's easy to put on all sorts of faces sorrylah. the word 'masks' is just too cliche. and smile all the time when we're younger. and we have the amazing energy to tolerate untolerable people.

my theory is that the older a person gets, the lesser he/she tries to hide who he/she really is. mean old people are just what they are - mean people. they just grew old. so now -> old mean people. sarcastic old people are old sarcastic people.

clever?

no la. i read it somewhere before. =P

"my english lecturer forces us to write our answers in full: 'how can you write incomplete sentences for english!'"

"tell your lecturer, in court nobody answers in full wan."
"but it's english--"
"tell her we're law students, not english students."

-listened to contract lecture for awhile-

"you should help your english lecturer in the morning noe. she has to carry a radio and her bag, and she can't open the door by herself."
"she comes to the faculty very early. like, 8.40am (class starts 9am) she was there already."
"then you should come early lor."
"okay. i'll come 20 minutes early to carry a radio."
"noooo, to help her open the door."
"yeah. then i sit down and stare at her for the next 20minutes right."

-brief silence-

"yoh. i think i'm quite sarcastic also. i better get rid of it before i'm old."

i forgive you.

i keel you.

li ern brought chocolate bread to law cg today.

joshua blocked norbert

Norbert: *holds bread with hands* "Come, let's pray for the bread."

Li Ern: "Your hands clean anot??"

Norbert: "I come with clean hands."

Joshua: "Wah, equity ah you?"


Equity*! Lawyer joke. XD


*legal maxim: "he who comes to equity must come with clean hands."

li ern: "i'm the lawless one in this law cg."
me: "you unlawful la you."
(li ern's not from the faculty of law)
(but she joins us faithfully and is hence,)
(very much a part of us)

"people from other faculties are looking for guys from the law faculty"

"wut."

that was my initial reaction. because... ah haha. hee. hoho. huhu. =P i didn't say anything ah. lalala.

second reaction was: "what about girls from the law faculty?"

then i discovered that a lot of people think that girls from the faculty of law are too domineering, assertive of their rights, argumentative etc. hence tak laku.

melissa happened to be an advocate of this school of thought, and she told me so.

at first i accepted it. but then again, why is okay for guys to be domineering, assertive of their rights, and argumentative, and not okay for girls to be the same? this is gender discrimination. if a guy can be afraid of his girlfriend suing him in future, a girl should be afraid of her boyfriend suing her in future too.

would guys rather have a ding-dong, clueless girlfriend who says "yes" to everything he says?

oookay, maybe they do. but that just isn't right. partners should build each other up, compliment each other, and contribute a similiar material amount to the relationship, although in different ways.

PLUS not all girls from the faculty of law are domineering, assertive of their rights and argumentative.

girls from the faculty of law are very timid and pleasant wan.

i don't think i'd make a domineering girlfriend, plus i keep quiet most of the time because i'm too lethargic to argue. and i don't assert my rights very much.

...

"...i'm asserting my rights, aren't i?"

"yes, you are." -mel-

post-lawnite committee dinner.

There's always that point in a relationship where everyone forgets every strife, every conflict, every hurt - differences, huge as they may have seemed just an hour ago. One wonders why everyone can't be like that all the time. Not just for that tiny slot in the day. Not even for just that day.

Maybe if everyone chose the right things to remember, everyone could be happier. Or is it because everyone can't be like that all the time, that makes that one slot in the day so appreciated?

Maybe we were made for a world where the best is never yet to come, because there is no best. Because everything is perfect.

Maybe we were made for eternity.

Have you ever wondered what eternity would be like?

I have.

"ji dan, ji dan, kan sui de ji dan xian po!"
(egg, egg, see whose egg breaks first!)

"sam, this is how tall you are."

"eew, i look so big. nah, it's just an illusion - what's wrong with your phone!"

DMSJ quiz's coming up again.

[DMSJ = Daya GC + Melaka GC + Shah Alam GC + Johor Bharu GC]


sis and i were making a list of past participants and floor members from 2000 to 2008.

we couldn't really remember what happened in 2005 and 2006.

sis: "we got last place in the first quiz. first place in the next. then last, first, last..."

...

me: "then we didn't bother checking the trophy anymore."

back in the ol' fishing village.

Sometimes we make the same mistake the Catholic church did:
We cut off ties and fellowship with other assemblies
because we hold on to certain traditions and practices.
Is one assembly more brethren than the other?


The concept of priesthood in the Bible does not mean
being able to stand up and participate on Sundays
It means being able to come into God's presence.
Man or woman - we are all priests in the Lord's eyes.


Public prayers are not meant to be long.
They're supposed to be brief and to the point.
Brothers, don't be afraid to pray on Sundays
just because you think your prayers are too short.
You can just pray, "God, thank You! Amen!"


I'm not saying singing is wrong, but don't take the easy way out.
Share a verse from the Bible to encourage all of us.
There's nothing wrong with preparing the night before.
I used to see Marcus reading from a piece of paper every Sunday.


-Dad, Youth Meeting: Catholics-

i miss listening to marcus read from his piece of paper dengan penuh emosi.
i miss watching jerm read from his piece of paper dengan gaya semacam.
i miss seeing uncle ivan piece everyone's sharing to form the day's theme of worship.
i miss livia's glare.

aih.

may all the cows in new zealand grow thin like the ones in nebuchadnezzar's dream.
eh but then they gobbled up the fat cows.

we had a post-mortem for lawnite today.

screw the backstabbers.

the rest are the best.

first day of fragments.

the famous hair clip everyone thought was a joystick.

kinda makes the keyboard look like the dashboard of an alien spaceship.

the keyboard's signal was in fragments. lol.

anyway, it's fixed today.

it's ok. i gained a lot from last night's experience with the keyboard.


1. i put my smiling face to good use.

i.e. (a) *smile smile smile* "clarence, keyboard no sound."
i.e. (b) "smile smile smile* "kee aun, what shall i do now?"
i.e. (c) clarence: "tse hwei, why the keyboard so soft wan?" *smile smile smile* "don't know."


2. i learned some technical stuff.

the keyboard was sending out a low signal, which made it incompatible with the signal that the system was sending out. the signal was too hot, hence the feedback. should have used some padding for the keyboard. plus it was sharing the power source with the projector and laptop. don't ever add things to what's already there. if you do, conduct a sound test and check it out first. also, we need a compressor because it's dangerous when the actors shout into the mics.

my experience with my rambling pengajian am teacher has helped a lot. i can be blur without looking like i didn't understand most of what that sound system uncle said.


3. i discovered how much i love the dark.

i'm like my hero - batman! we're so compatible! yay! now, if only he was real.


4. i rediscovered the joy of working with people i can call my brothers and sisters.

i was very affected when the lawnite assistant head of the performance bureau yelled at me to hurry up to the front for my turn to perform. especially since i'd been delayed because i was helping a guest with his parking coupon problem. ah, i know she was stressed out. but. like jason says in the play, she didn't have to shout. i don't shout when i'm stressed. in fact, i do the opposite. i clam up real good. but then that's me. ah. whatever. different people different behaviour, i suppose.

also, seniority is a huge thing in the faculty, and i can't understand why. i understand respect, but i refuse to accept forced authority. law faculty-ians complain about everything, demand every right, pick little faults to expound on, treat seniority as a position instead of a condition.

as with the other pkvians, jen hann doesn't feel@act like a senior at all.

i've seen backstabbings going on even among the lawnite committee. and i've had enough. i commented that i prefer working on the easter production to working on lawnite. chelsea asked why. i said all of the above.

plus the easter production is to honour God and to encourage one another.

chelsea said the faculty projects could help us gain experience, build some rapport with the seniors there's that word again, and get to know lawyers and corporate individuals (networking).

i replied, "then what?" i'm not even gonna say 'there's more to life than networking' cuz it's just plain ridiculous.

is that all there is to it? what's the point of all these projects? who, among those involved in these projects, can honestly disagree that the most part of the experience they gain is how to deal with backstabbers?

rachel: "hey, what was wrong with the keyboard?"
me: *starts long recitation of the uncle's narration*
rachel: *stops me halfway and does the huggy thing* "it's ok. you did good."

see the difference?

george, rachel, divya
after posing for my cameraphone: "tse hwei, why must you always take pictures!"

5. i realized i was zalim.

no, not as in cruel. zalim is a term in islamic law concerning the faith ,which means "not putting something in the right place". it wasn't until the keyboard went soundless that i realized that my heart wasn't in the right place. it shouldn't have been so important for me to want to play. so what if i couldn't play? the easter play is not about me. it's not a platform for me to show off on the keyboard. i think God did it again. He always pulls this sort of thing. maybe i knew. maybe that's why i wasn't worried at all after the first few soundlessness. i left the keyboard, sat down on my *reserved* bangga! seat and watched the play with a smile.


but still.

i hope to play something significant on the keyboard tonight.

ahahaha.

unlike some people, i only have a small cameraphone.
so if you look closely, you'll see i pieced two pictures together.

Easter Production: Fragments

10 and 11 March 2009
Tuesday and Wednesday
7.30pm
Auditorium Kompleks Perdana Siswa (KPS)
Universiti Malaya
Ticket Price: Free!

This is what I've been busy with for... er... four days. Practice has been going on for quite some time k. I've only been to four meetings (three, excluding the music practice which had nothing to do with me actually) because I signed up for it at the last minute for a charitable purpose. i initially signed up under "lain-lain" in the Where Do You Want To Serve? poster. lol.

Anyway, come for it. Script is cool lah. Plus I'm playing background music on the keyboard among the audience. Gonna find a hot guy and ask him to autograph the keyboard. Oh. But then it's Kee Aun's keyboard. Never mind. I'll ask the hot guy to find a hot chick to sign the keyboard for Kee Aun. Siap. Cekap.

Or you guys can ask for my autograph also. I'll tear a page of the script and sign on it for you. Lalala~

And ya, bring a jacket, and please wear jeans. No need to show off skin because it'll turn blue in the cold anyway.

Stage crew's practicing carrying props and stuff now. I've nothing much to do. Either eat more of the snacks I brought here or play the soundless keyboard. (PA people turned it off)

No pictures because this isn't my laptop. thanks Jon, for letting me use your laptop. although you didn't exactly give me permission to use it. prolly cuz i didn't actually ask you for it. =P


p/s: outsiders can come too.
p/ss: the production was in the star newspaper. =D

the discomfort zone. every project has it.

"Don't know is not an option."

-Kevin Kwa-

i refrain from saying "I don't know". simply because it's the most easily rebuttable excuse.

e.g.

"i don't know how to do this."
"learn la."


so i say "I cannot". clever much?

i was mentally drained yesterday. you know what drains your energy the most? it's making yourself do something you think you can't.

i hate the phrase "i don't know". i didn't attempt to use it yesterday when we were experimenting with the background music.

but the more i used my clever phrase, the more i felt that "i cannot" seemed so final.

so when everyone went back to doing their own thing, i struggled. i stood by kee aun's keyboard and fought the urge to dream that li ern could take my place. forced myself to crawl out of the self-pity pool i was wallowing in. ah. wallowing in self-pity. don't like doing something i've always told other people not to do.

hwei, whether you can play it or not, you're gonna play.

just do it and get on with life.

plus.

God. Help.

come, since i have readers (and thus a network), lemme invent a quote.

Don't know is not an option.

Cannot is too final.

Just do it.

-Tse Hwei-

remember i said it when it gets famous.

still got enough confidence to berbangga tak kena tempat.
*edit* i know! maybe i should say "I don't". e.g. "I don't do sports."

sweetness.

auntie judy called and asked to see me today so she could give me my long-awaited toner. as usual, i sat in the passenger seat, and played with my nails as i waited for the pin-drop silence that always followed her facial care commentary. i was about to tap a tune on my thumbnail when she said, "And I have something for you" in that Mary Poppins way.

honestly, i squealed more at the box more than at the cookies.

that was so sweet. T_T

i don't really know auntie judy that well. the only times we meet are when she does stuff to my face and when she gives me stuff for my face. the last time i met her, i felt really, really uncomfortable. there was obviously something on her mind, because she grumbled about things too openly, and didn't hurry me back to my room. and she started talking about how time flies, and everyone is all grown up, and how adults' skin are so dry and how young kiddos like us should take care of our skin but we don't and then we start to regret when our skin is all dry like theirs.

i'm a melancholic. i'm supposed to know when people are feeling melancholic. because then they're just like me. sometimes my intuition takes the day off, and i don't realize such things about people. then i feel bad and i - ah - blog about it. but that one time, i felt it, and i chose to ignore it. i didn't want to know what was bothering her, because then i'd have had to show concern; be a comforting, sympathetic person. i wasn't sure i could do that. so i let her drown in her thoughts. drown until she decided she didn't want to take up anymore of my time.

why am i so afraid to be kind? sympathetic? compassionate? just... something other?

sometimes it doesn't take much. it just takes a simple question.

why is that your favourite song?
why haven't you been going to church?
what emotional problem is that?


too simple, we think. we think we know the answers.

nice tune la, dei.
lazy @ i'm backsliding @ hehehe @ sheepish grin.
bgr @ studies.

i recently had the chance to think again. by reading blogs and talking to people, i discovered more complicated answers to those questions. i've read more blogs than i can count, where bloggers write about how they're not what they seem, and 'you will never really know me' material. how can we think such things about ourselves, yet expect other people to be what they seem?

i thought i knew people. so i refrained from asking 'cliche' questions. i thought that song was just another one of those songs, that sigh just one of those sighs.

and then my friend told me what her emotional problem was. "actually my father just passed away," she said with a smile.

people don't just blurt stuff like that. they say such things when they need to tell someone. and two weeks ago, she picked me to be that someone. and what a terrific job i did playing that part.

how then can i know? when is that smile really just that smile? when is there a broken heart behind that song?

ah. human ignorance.

the question is never when. never how. never why.

that's the beauty of human nature -
deep down, we want to care.
we want to care.
but somehow, when it comes to action,
we always fall short of our heart's desire.

- PKVUM Easter Drama: Fragments -

it is always,

will you?

malangness.

yeah, i have no idea how i fell on a straight, level road either.

ah. announcements. they crack me up.

announcement 1:

*do mi so do*

Perhatian kepada semua warga Astar.
Untuk majlis makan malam Majlis Penganugerahan Astar 1 malam ini,
sila bawa sudu dan garpu sendiri.

*do so mi do*

announcement 2:

*do mi so do*

Perhatian kepada semua warga Astar.
Untuk majlis makan malam MPA 1 malam ini,
pakaiannya ialah
pakaian formal,
batik, atau
pakaian mengikut tema majlis iaitu Egypt Night.

*do so mi do*

chelsea: *rolls eyes* "just tell them the girl in the shirt is Pharoah la."

liverpool in our LawNite T-shirt.

"In that case, this is Egyptian also. Nah, this girl is the uh god they worship."

community awareness shirt.
since i takda lawnite shirt.

mpa 1 is some konon grand makan.
in the college canteen.
with the same food we eat for lunch.
ok. maybe not the same.
it was worse.
but on a better plate.
and still no cutlery.
-_-!

fragments. (easter)

"Hey, Tse Hwei! Li Ern here. Can you play background music for the Easter play?"

to be honest, i was quite sedih the first day i went for practice. here's why:

#1 Li Ern: "Full practice on Monday, 9am. (public holiday) Cannot go back."

#2 Everyone else had been practicing together for 3 weeks.

#3 I can't improvise background music. I really can't. Creativity = Zero.

#4 To my shame, I confess I haven't been spending enough time with PKV-ians. My presence during Friday's PKV meetings are equivalent to a pew-warmer on Sunday.

should it be 'here are why'? since there're more than one 'why's.

as i said, i was quite sedih that first day. which was actually just yesterday. but watching them praise the Lord so sincerely helped a lot. PLUS the drama was is good la. if i didn't have to be on standby in case kee aun and li ern wanted something on the keyboard, i would've nokia-ed everything. it was the first time i was watching the play, and every scene left me wondering. curious. actually, i'm still wondering. cuz the last scene isn't released yet. ahaha.

ah ya. God decided to remind me of how bad a conversationalist i am. there were so many instances where a simple phrase could've led to a few more lines of conversation, and i missed them all. i can only recall one right now but it should suffice:

"i like looking at the stars. stars are nice."

*looks at me expectantly*

"...hm."

it'll pain you to know that i still don't know what i should've said to have those few more lines of conversation. it's like what ben button said:

our lives are defined by opportunities.
even the ones we miss.

i could give you a long list of what i think the definition of my life is due to my lack of conversational skills, but that would be a complete waste of your time. plus my line of vision's starting to narrow. it's 1.45am.

anyway, i felt better at today's practice. i felt i could be quietly present more naturally. like when you're with your best friend and you can both do your own thing without talking to each other unless you want to. people don't always have to talk to be comfortable with one another. sometimes silence is the best way to see if you enjoy each other's company.

i enjoyed silently watching the pkv-ians today. it was odd to know i'd missed watching so many people in pkv meetings. if you don't get to know certain people, you just miss out on what could've been a huge chunk of your life, i guess.

no strength to arrange photos, so i'm chucking them here randomly and without proper alignment. bwahaha:

george: "blogger!"

p/s: this is the first time i don't mind not justifying the post.
p/ss: i didn't know jason could act. =P